Action creates change.
I was told that if I want to be different, then I would have to live differently, which makes sense, of course.
I was told to change my actions, so that I could change my thinking. Therefore, by replacing thoughts with actions, I could improve feelings and the end result, which are my emotions or my emotional content.
Remember, we are all wired a certain way. Our thinking has a direct impact on our moods and actions.
This is why CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is perhaps the most helpful and successful when it comes to creating transformational changes in our life.
I had to learn what this meant.
I had to understand the different stations in my head as well as in my heart. Yes, I had to understand the difference between intellectual thinking and emotional thinking.
Most people use the word, “Feel” or “feelings” in a way that is inaccurate.
“I feel this,” or saying something like, “I am feeling like you’re trying to make me” are not accurate.
These are thoughts and assumptions or ideas. However, we are trained to assume this is how we feel.
But no, this is really how we think.
I feel you are trying to say this.
I feel that you are doing this because . . .
These are not feelings. Most often, these are either accusatory or blaming statements, which is a topic for another entry. However, our aim here is to clean house. We need to change our thinking so that we can improve the way we perform. We also want to feel better which means we want to improve our emotional content.
Mostly, we want to be free from the burdens of rejective thinking. We want to be free from overthinking or the scrutiny that we put ourselves through.
Imagine what a day would look like if you thought kindly about yourself, throughout the entire day. Imagine a day without one internal insult or harsh criticism.
Imagine a day where no matter what takes place; we are okay, and we are able to navigate our way through or around any of the obstacles we see.
There is no tension. No pressure.
All is right with us and the world.
What would a day like this look like to you?
We need to break ourselves down.
We need to understand the different compartments in our mind and in our heart, so-to-speak.
We need to become our best source of motivation and inspiration, and put to the test, we need to bring our levels up so that even if we are not at our best, nothing will ever be strong enough to drag us down to our worst.
Feelings are not the same as thoughts.
Feelings, like joy or sadness, or the experience of how we process thrills, or the rush of adrenaline are different from the typical statements, I feel you, I feel this, I feel like . . .
Understand?
By the way –
Emotions are not the same as feelings.
Emotions are innate or simplified; our emotions are the chemical reaction or the aftermath of thoughts, ideas, feelings, perception, experience, and assumptions.
We can certainly make ourselves crazy sometimes.
Correct?
Well, if this is true, then we can make ourselves whole again, or strong enough to be brave enough to be free.
I remember taking a class to become a state recognized, Certified Recovery, Peer Advocate, and while I cannot say that the class was overflowing with great experiences, I can say that I walked away with some great experiences, nonetheless.
I learned.
Some of the lessons were scary, if I’m being honest.
Perhaps I see it this way because as a person who needed support, I found out how ill-equipped the mental health world can be at times.
One of the lessons I learned was another acronym for the five basic emotions. And, in all fairness, I have heard contrary lessons from other teachers and speakers; however, I like this acronym which is why I use this in my own personal journey and understanding.
Here are the five basic emotions:
F.LA.P.P.
Fear
Loneliness
Anger
Pain
Pleasure
Speaking of emotion and the chemical result of how our emotions work, think about something that took place in your life.
Think about an argument, or think about something that resulted in an undesirable way.
Think about a time when you were hurt and you said nothing. But after, you found yourselves in a heated discussion in your brain, which you said this or that!
Has this ever happened to you?
Of course, it has.
Think about the times when you have relived an old argument and rehearsed the things you would say. Think about how you prepared yourself, just in case the argument should arise again, or in your efforts to change or relitigate the past, think about the way you went back and forth in your mind. Then think about the way your body responded or how your emotions went through a change in chemistry.
You can get yourself worked up like this.
No?
Your mind does not understand or know the difference between real-time, or assumptions, or if this is a fight that is actually happening, or if this unhelpful form of mental masturbation is simply leading us to an an imaginary bout.
So . . .
Next, your body begins to take on the exact chemistry that released itself when you had the initial argument.
I have had dreams of family who passed away. And they were real, or to me, these dreams were as real as real could be. However, the dream ended, and I woke up and found myself reliving the same emotional content or the feelings that I experienced the day I lost my loved one.
I can say this has taken place with people who I no longer spoke with, or people who I had a falling out with. In the dream, I was either relitigating, or recreating the argument, or I possibly found a way to settle the past, or perhaps I was in the middle of an apology, and then I woke up—and when I did, I found myself experiencing the same flush of emotions as I did when the incident occurred.
It is important to understand the difference between thought, assumptions, ideas, feelings, and emotions.
It is also important to realize that there are two methods of thinking.
One method is logical or strategic.
The other is emotional and possibly irrational.
We need strategies . . .
The mental rat race can drive us crazy, which is why we need to include this understanding and outline this in our W.R.A.P.
Our plan needs to break down our challenges and yes, challenges are only as complicated as we make them out to be. Hence, this part is not based on emotion nor is this part hinged on results or passion.
Same as it is possible to think ourselves into a flutter and make ourselves crazy; it is equally possible to think ourselves into feeling the antithesis or, better put, we can swing ourselves in a better direction.
I can think about a spring morning when I first learned about honeysuckle bushes. Even though I was around someone who hurt me, I still associate the smell of honeysuckles with pure sunlight and bright skies.
See the difference?
Here are some questions that might work well in your action plan:
What are the top five biggest achievements in your life?
Note: some people struggle to answer this. Therefore, this is why it is good to have your home team involved with something like this because they can remind you of times which we either took for granted, or perhaps we forgot, or maybe we failed to see their suggestions as real or true successes.
What is your morning routine like?
If needed, is there a way that we can make our morning routine more enjoyable?
What are the five best things that you see in your daily life?
What are your top five sources of inspiration?
What steps do you take to bring yourself up when you are feeling down?
What is your favorite time of day?
When are you the strongest during your daily life?
What do you see when you look in the mirror at the end of the day?
Do you take time to treat yourself on a daily basis?
How can you come to a constructive conclusion at the end of every day?
Remember the saying:
You never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself.
So, be kind.
The idea is to rebuild ourselves from the ground up.
We need to strip ourselves of the old thinking protocols and remove our thinking errors by replacing them with valuable actions; hence, this is the purpose behind our action plan.
Replace thoughts with action!
We want to create this transformation and, essentially, while this is scripted and built with logical content and from an intellectual standpoint, the end results of change are the treats for our reward system.
This is where the passion comes in.
We are not looking for a quick fix or a quick burst of “feel good.”
We are looking to create a new life where no matter what happens, no one can destroy us, and nothing can take us away from our understanding of “self.”
This is what it means to be free.
Free from irrational fears.
Free from anticipation and anxiety.
Or, as I was taught, “Freedom from the bondage of self.”
This is the result of a good, strong action plan.
Trust me . . .
The Written Addiction 