Now that we are moving forward with our plan and replacing thoughts with actions, we have to remember one thing above all, which is that we have to learn to enjoy the process.
Otherwise, what’s the point?
We have to learn to enjoy ourselves and more than cultivate new sources of inspiration, we have to inspire ourselves to find our daily dose of motivation.
The idea behind our action plan is to take notes on what serves us and what takes away, or as it was mentioned earlier, we have to learn about our own mathematics.
What adds to our day? What actions help us multiply and improve our best efforts?
We have to notice this because rather than allow for the subtraction of our energy, the last thing anyone wants to be is divided. There is nothing worse than being unsure of your growth, or to be on the fence, and stuck between the sad resistance of disbelief and spiritual or personal laziness.
What are the things that fill your heart?
What is your favorite music?
What songs bring your energy level high enough that you can take on the world?
What stories, music, movies, and clips from a speaker, or what books, or what quotes fill your heart and inspire you to want to go, be, and do?
Go. Be. Do.
These are three great words . . .
These are three sources of inspiration and yet, they are three short words that are big enough to bring out the lion in us.
The words, Go, Be, and Do belong in our action plan. At risk of sounding repetitious, please keep in mind that while this journal is intended to be interactive, scripting a W.R.A.P. or writing an action plan is not the same as this appears.
However, the questions that I ask are questions that I ask on my action plans, and again, no two action plans are the same. Each client, friend, person, or even in the case where I have written an action plan for myself, all plans are written specific to the change or the intended transformation.
Today’s entry is not about serious or intense changes; but more, this is about the idea that change can and should be fun.
Life is work. By the way, improvement takes work.
Nothing worthwhile comes simple or easy.
I have been told that it has to hurt if it’s to heal.
And maybe this is true.
I have heard the age-old saying in the gym, no pain, no gain.
I have been at the bottom of an uphill climb, much like the rest of us have, and I know the strains of starting over. I understand the humiliations of falling or having to go back to the beginning, or to go back to square one and start again.
I know the losses I have taken as a result of my pride or my ego, and I have seen what happens when I forget myself or lose my humility.
Had I not found someone or something, or had I not had a sounding board, or a home team, or more importantly and in relation to this entry, had I not found a viable source of inspiration, then I am not sure that my endurance would have been able to reach this level.
And yes, and dare I say it, I might have quit—but no.
I didn’t.
I’m not dead.
I had to find the ingredients that helped support a healthy endurance. When the time came, and when I was in pain, or when my moods or when my mindset slid backwards and my thoughts turned pointless or hopeless, I had to find something to inspire me, even when I was unwilling to be inspired.
What inspired me?
Okay . . .
Robert Fulghum.
He inspired me. I read his book, All I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, when my Father, The Old Man, was dying in the hospital.
This is what sparked the dream that someday, maybe, I could be a writer too.
(I hope)
I think about some of the people who I have met throughout the years, and these are people from humble backgrounds yet, somehow, they have given me gifts that no money can buy.
Music inspires me. Some of the music I choose is quiet and soft, and some of the music is soothing, which is great when the mood fits the background.
Yes, there are times when I choose music with harder sounds, or music that inspires me to riot, or for example, there are songs I will choose to listen to when taking long hikes or walks, or when I am in the gym, and yes, there are songs that energize me and motivate me to push harder and be stronger.
I can break through walls.
I can bite through steel.
I can take on the world, so long as I have you
(with me).
There are times when I am sad or hurting, and there are times when it seems as if my emotions are bundled and my feelings are clogged.
I can say I have bouts like this, and I am stuck in the mud of my sad depression; as if I need to scream or to somehow “let it out,” and of course, these are the times when I choose a song that comes lovingly or when I listen to something deep enough to release the tension, or enough to allow me the right to weep.
Who inspires me?
Aside from you?
There is a young man who was born with muscular dystrophy and despite his physical challenges, he pushes himself to become a power lifter.
I want to be as string as him . . .
There is a young girl who lives, and smiles, and she dances and she sings, and in the end, all she wants is to see the moon, or to laugh, or to see a blue jeep, or talk about a special visitor or to see her family, or to be loved — and no, her condition does not limit her. Cerebral Palsy does not limit her by any means, even if it limits the view from other people who stare because no one told them it was rude.
I am not half the man that this little girl is, and no, no one will ever be as incredible to me.
I am inspired by the writings of Frank O’Hara, about “Having A Coke With You” and I am a fan of Kerouac and, of course, I am thankful for Jim Carroll, and I am grateful for the poets and authors and artists who dared the world and told us about their hearts.
I am never going to be a Shakespeare, but no one else will ever be a Ben Kimmel either.
Know what I mean?
I am moved by the subject of love. I am inspired by the hope and thoughts and ideas that one day, love will heal the wounds of a broken soul, and in the end, a door will open to me, and I will see the purpose of every scratch, of every bump or bruise, and all of my scars or unresolved tension from my past will be like the roadmap which has led me to here, above all, to my place of peace.
And you . . .
You inspire me
I am far from what I would call perfect. I am far from sane and I am not a roll model nor do I want to be.
It has taken decades to be comfortable in my skin, which is really a work in progress.
However, without these things, or with this time when I come here, first thing in the morning, just to sit with you, like this, and just so I can reach you and be healed of all the silly unfortunate things, and without you, or this, or without my actions that I have used to replace my unhelpful thinking; I shutter to think where I would be in this world—without you.
Ask the following –
If you could make your life the way you want it, and if you look around in your immediate circle of influence, who inspires you to be better?
Who looks at you and somehow, their presence or their attention heals you?
Who is beautiful to you?
Who benefits you?
Who builds you?
Who loves you?
Who makes you feel the way you make me feel?
Look at them. Look at the people who encourage and inspire you.
See them and realize that they are not in your life by accident.
There are angels on this earth. They are lifesavers.
As for the demons, don’t worry about them so much.
Don’t be moved when your enemies growl.
This is what enemies are supposed to do.
Just be careful when you see them smiling, because, yeah, this means you have something coming your way. But even still, don’t pay this too much attention.
The demons and enemies have one goal in mind.
They’re only intention is to distract you,
so, don’t pay attention.
Don’t even look at them.
Besides, angels are far more beautiful to look
at, and never forget this because if you ask me,
— so are you.
The Written Addiction 