If our aim is to improve and transform, then we have to be aware of where to begin. We have to take notes and be aware of ourselves on all sides.
We have to understand our weaknesses and our strengths. To improve, we have to learn to grow, and, more importantly, we have to be willing to work on our self-development without shame or fear.
We cannot give way. We cannot excise ourselves or allow us to be lazy.
This is the intention of our action or wellness plan.
We began this by creating a platform. Next, we talked about who we wanted to include in our wellness plan. We discussed who is best equipped to be on our home team and who is most supportive.
We also discussed who we should stay away from or who it would be best to avoid.
Too many cooks in the kitchen is never helpful. So, we decided to a pick a team that will help suit our needs.
We prioritized our goals and outlined what changes we wanted to make.
We talked about being realistic.
Our aim is to make sustainable changes.
We talked about the need to find the secret of our endurance.
This is important to have when our motivation is low.
We have to make this a habit; in which case, we have to integrate our transformation into our daily routine.
No exceptions.
We have to make time for ourselves, regardless of our workload, or despite what may or may not be happening at the moment. Despite our mood, despite our levels of happiness or satisfaction, or despite the distractions or the unfairness of say, traffic in the morning, or some asshole cut us off in traffic, we must understand that our changes need to be constant.
This is how we grow.
This does not mean there are no days off or that there is no room for relaxation.
In fact, this means we have to ensure time to clear our mind.
We all need vacations. We need rest.
However, I must go to one of my first journals I wrote when I began this commitment.
I was at the beginning of my own transformation. I was sad and alone and searching for my own secret of endurance, which seemed impossible.
I didn’t think I could make it another minute, let alone another hour or another day.
I was at the end of my rope.
I can say this without exaggeration.
I came to the realization that the depth of my commitment is equal to the span of my success.
I realized that the depth of my hate is equal to the reach of my love.
So, therefore, if I can hate that much then I can love just as much, if not more.
If my dedication is unwavering, and even when I am tired or if I am weak, no matter what, I was at a low point in my life and my depression was heavy.
But I knew that as bad as life seemed, I knew I couldn’t quit.
I had to change. I had to move away from my triggers and move away from the people, places, and things that held me back.
I knew this was not going to be easy.
However, I knew this was necessary.
I understood that not all days will be great.
This is true.
But –
No matter how hard my life appeared or how tired or frustrated I was, and no matter how small my achievements appeared to be, I realized one thing above all – I could not stop, and I could not quit. Otherwise, the consequences would be unthinkable.
I had to do something, at least one thing, each day.
I learned to let this grow and become my habit.
We have to remember that life will always be busy.
There will always be something going on. There will always be a reason to “start tomorrow,” and there will always be a reason to quit or to be angry. In my case, there is always a good reason to sit on the couch and eat, then sleep, and then wake up and eat some more until I put myself in a food coma or, in other words, there is always a good reason to eat myself into a drug-like, or narcotized state and waste away until tomorrow.
Fortunately, I am not that person anymore.
My aim for this journal is to offer questions that I have asked myself when I was facing the need to improve.
Another mission of mine is to offer a line of support. I want this to be a series of helpful notes for those who lack the ability to help themselves.
And this includes me, at times.
There are times when I am lost and I need help too.
In addition, I want to offer ideas to those who are looking to help others.
But first, I want to outline the basic steps to achieve a good, healthy and stronger mindset.
I have gone back and forth asking questions, sharing personal experiences, and offering suggestions to help with the idea of creating a wellness plan.
We have to break ourselves down into moving parts. Next, we have to understand these parts. We have to learn about our values and understand our worthiness.
We have to list our strengths and weaknesses, which we have.
We have to learn more about our inventory and more importantly, we have to improve our awareness.
We have to achieve a better level of consciousness so that, ultimately, we can improve and reach an optimal level of understanding.
This is what it means to be free –
this is what it means to be at our best –
We talked about the people, places and things.
We talked about our triggers or the items in our life that cause confusion or cause us to lose focus.
We talked about strengthening our spirit by integrating a routine of happiness, which can be anything from music to dancing or to whatever blows your hair back.
For example, this is my happiest time of the day.
I am happiest, early in the morning with the only light being the electric glow from my computer screen.
I have soft music playing in the background. I have a cup of coffee by my side and as for the sound, the only thing I hear is music and the sound of my fingers poking the keys as I write this to you — and trust me, I can assure you that this is one of the most successful feelings I have throughout my day.
I can tell you the reason for this too.
No one ever expected me to get this far.
Including me.
But I am still here.
No one ever thought that I would make the changes that I have made in my life.
But I made them, nonetheless.
I have good days and bad ones.
I struggle with depression.
I have my bouts with loved ones.
I have battles with extreme anxiety.
But I am still here.
Alive and well
(for the most part).
I am no stranger to depressive thinking, and further, I am definitely not a stranger to anxiety or a stranger to the ideas of social awkwardness and discomfort.
I have discussed my challenges of how I vomit before doing my lectures or how my anxiety attacks seem as if I might have a heart attack and die. While I am petrified of public speaking and regardless of how sick I might feel or petrified I might be, it is a contradiction of terms when I say that despite the above, I am often contracted as a motivational speaker.
A motivational speaker
petrified of public speaking . . .
I know.
I get it.
No one believes me . . .
But I’m not doing this to be believed.
I’m doing this because whether I make the best sellers list or whether I take this to the next level or not, I endure and continue because this is part of my personal redemption. If you know me, then you will know me well enough to know that the very first line I wrote in my first journal is “My redemption has nothing to do with your response.”
It is important to repeat the following question because, to me, this was one of the most moving and motivating, and one of the most inspiring questions of all.
When is it your turn to have the life that you want?
And –
When are you going to give yourself the permission to do what it takes to make this so?
It is important to realize that improvement and transformational change will never end.
We are always moving and always growing.
And life?
Life is always happening.
And life is not always fair . . .
There are going to be times when depression comes back. There will be times when the pain comes back. And there will be times when everything is a fight or an argument.
And so it goes.
This is life
Of course, this is all relative and subjective.
However, by any means, and no matter what, or regardless of how hard, how sad, or how painful life can be — we have to find our designated passion.
We have to realize and understand our purpose.
We have to see this like we did when discussing our vision statement.
We have to find our spark and our positive influences. Above all, we have to protect our grade of progress and continue until we meet our transformational perfection.
At the same time, no one is perfect.
But we can be our perfect self.
We can be mindful.
We can learn.
We can start over at any given time and we can always change our mind or change our direction.
The world can be ours for the taking.
What direction are we going to take next?
Well?
I don’t know. But today is meant for today.
Tomorrow is for tomorrow.
And now?
Now is a good time to get up and look for the next achievement and our closest success.
Know what I mean?
The Written Addiction 