16)
There comes a time
when you have to say goodbye,
as in farewell, and there comes a time
when you have to find what it takes
that makes you realize
now is the right time
to walk away.
I do not envy the choice
nor do I envy the position
nor the time or the talk it takes
to get from there
to here, as in
there comes a time
when their stars no longer glimmer
and their eyes
no longer offer the same comfort
because nothing is as it was
and nothing was as it is now –
I admire you
and the strength it took
for you to walk away.
17)
I see myself in the eyes
which are said to be the mirror
of her soul –
I see myself in the eyes of her lifetime
which unfolds in fantasies
like the one I have of an empty field,
a sole and lonely tree,
on a hill
that overlooks pastures
and allows me the dreams of
you,
and the hopes of
something happily ever after
One day . . .
18)
I walk the way I do
because of the roads that I have traveled.
At the same time,
I think the way I think
because I have been
trained by the assumptions
which come to me
like the sums
of my near
and future pasts.
I am the amount of my compiled
realizations, to which I say
whether I am right or wrong,
I can see how we follow a path
or move in circles,
and wonder why
we never move forward
or why
we never go anywhere
at all.
However,
I am the hope
I am the dream
I am the aspiration and the purpose
behind the first thought
which I allow myself
before I stand from my bed
and choose to meet the day.
I am the first one
and the last,
and I am
the reflection in the mirror
and the mind of the man
who is stares back
at me.
Oh, yes.
I am that one.
I am him
and the boy I was and the man I knew.
I am the person I hope to be
and so,
in combination of this,
I want to be more than
a compilation
of my regrettable yesterdays
or the wreckage of my past.
I want to be this and more
so that I may enjoy the breakfast
called –
“Tomorrow”
and ask for seconds
until I am full.
19)
If it is fine to close the door
or walk away
and it is fine to end the chapter
or let go
or move on
to which, it is fine to be you
or to weep,
or to laugh,
or to be brave enough to say
yes, now is the time
to open the next chapter
and be happy.
It is of no consequence to anyone
the way you live
or what you choose
and,
so?
Even if there is a consequence,
I have to go back to the very first words
I ever wrote to you, long ago
remember?
The words are –
“My redemption has nothing to do
with your response.”
Even if you respond,
this does not mean
that I have to react
nor should I react.
Nothing is going to wait.
Not time.
Not destiny nor fate,
but like energy
changing forms,
destiny and fate
will change forms as well,
which means nothing
is permanent, and since
moments are only temporary
then allow this moment
to be a temporary stay of execution
and prepare you for the next best thing
because next
is the greatest comeback
of your life.
Believe me.
I promise
20)
It is fine to feel
or to have rage
or to be outraged and hurt.
It is fine to weep
or cry
or shake your fists
and scream at the sky.
It is fine to feel regret
or to take a step back
and be sorry
which only means
that in hindsight,
we can look back
and wish we
had done something different
or said something better.
(of course!)
I can think of a million conversations
to the point where my heart
jumps in palpitations,
and my rage starts to boil
wishing that I had said something different
or that I stood quiet
and said nothing at all.
Or instead, I think of times
wishing that I replaced words
with an action
that would last longer
and feel better than being
left as what it was.
Never neglect the chance
to kiss someone goodbye.
By the way,
There is a word for all the above.
I call this being human.
I call this the value of experience
and therefore,
a lesson learned is a lesson learned,
unless, of course,
we failed to learn.
And thus,
at the same time,
and dare I say this,
I cannot be afraid to unlearn
what I learned
and therefore I have to relearn
what I thought I already knew;
so that now,
I can learn to restart something
even if it were dead,
though, still,
I am alive
and so are you.
Therefore,
I am free to defy anything
including the loveless chapter
which only exists between you and me
or now and then
and so, this means
I am free to defy anything
that limits me,
holds me back,
or keeps me from happiness
or keeps me from you –
my soul’s completion.
21)
Peace be with you
and also with you
and also with your spirit.
Peace be with those
who mourn, or weep
or wish.
Peace be with those who tried
and lost
or with those
who gambled
and walked away with nothing.
Peace to you,
the so-called loser
or the one who came up short.
Peace be with the empty-pocketed soul
traveling, seeking and searching
and hopefully, peace be with them
when at last,
they set their sights and say behold,
there it is,
the life I’ve lived for
and there she is . . .
Smiling.
Peace be with those who never tried
or took a chance
and peace be with those who stayed
and never dared, in fear of who they might be
if they got what they asked for.
Peace be with you
and me,
and peace be with us
when, at last, we reach the gate
of our hopeful heart
and peace be with us
when, at last,
we cross the threshold
and find the reason behind
our purpose.
Peace be with those who go
or chose to stay
and peace be with those who
chose love
over their stagnant lives
and peace be with those
who chose to dare
because, above all,
you are far braver than most –
peaceful,
or not.
And peace be with me,
should I choose to be this way
yet, no . . .
I have a journey to return to
and a life I have to live.
Therefore,
I know there will be troubles ahead
and turbulent times.
I know there will be storms
and I know there will be thunder
and lightning.
But in the end
I know there will be you —
and to all else that distracts me,
I know that everything was worth it
because of you.
The Written Addiction 