166)
The bottom line is this:
always be you
or at risk of upsetting the grammar gods,
never not be you
no matter what
you should
always be yourself.
Even at risk of misfortune
or at risk of exposure
or even in the face of pain
or even when the world
is opposed or opposite,
or when the people around you
are unlike you, no matter what
and by any means,
always be you.
Never cover yourself
or hide
and never let your light be dimmed
or dulled by the darkness
of someone else and sure,
pain hurts, and sometimes
pain lingers, indefinitely,
but in the end, and by any means
or even if this means pain, hurt
or a social death,
never compromise your character
never settle,
and no,
you should never adhere
to a life that des not fit
or suit you.
Never in a million years
Never settle and by no means
should you ever negotiate
with those who pose
as emotional terrorists,
nor should you negotiate with those
who use their emotional warfare
as a second language
and allow their manipulation
to detonate
above your heart strings
to pull at the chords
and make you dance to a song
you never asked for.
Stop this.
Now.
167)
What is love anyway?
Is this an ongoing question
and, at my age,
am I the only one who asks
this?
Should I know
or do I already know,
or wait,
have I always known
and I’ve known about love for a long time
and so,
the real question should be
when is my love for me?
Is love something that changes
or even better, is love
something that happens over time
and as we grow
love is always changing,
always evolving
and rearranging the way its felt,
and if so,
is love ongoing or infinite?
Does love endure
and conquer all?
Is love as wide and ongoing as the galaxy;
or more,
is love indefinable
because to each and all,
love is subjective
and so, would this mean
that love is like the universe
with no borders
or edges,
and hence, there are
no boundaries or limits,
and there are no time lines
nor rhyme or reason
to when love begins; and hence,
if love is real love
then love is always endless,
except when and, of course,
love is caught in a vacuum,
and then
even still, if love is still love
then love can neither live nor die.
It just remains
it just remains
ongoing –
If love is real love
then true love persists and remains.
Or, as Einstein said about energy
when he told the world
that energy can neither be created
nor destroyed, it can only change forms—
Then I can only assume
the same can be said about love
changing forms
indefinitely,
because love is energy
and so
if this is so
then my love can only be created
and never destroyed,
as in
forever.
168)
I am a fan of the feel
of my hand up your blouse
or my palm on the curve
at the bottom of your back
and yes,
I am a fan of the feel
of your chest against me
your lips against mine;
and if I am being honest,
the smell from your skin
and the feel from your flesh
is enough to make me
wilder than a hunter,
or dare I say predator,
hungrier now than ever before;
as if my last meal was years ago,
and my next meal is too far
to forgo this feast.
I need you.
If I am being honest,
then let me be honest
and say that no one can do to me
what you do to me,
not even close
and yes, life as it stands
or situations as they appear,
and despite the troubles we see
or face – I can tell you
a broken jaw
could not stop me
nor would anything stop me
from feeling what I feel
for you.
I know
that I am far from perfect
and I know that some might say
that I am crazy on a good day –
But
whomever I am, I am,
and whomever I’m not, I’m not.
In the end
and with all of my heart,
from now until the hour of my death
all I want to be
is yours
and if this could happen
nothing else would matter
At least not to me.
169)
I realize that I will have to adapt
and adjust
and that I will have to learn to evolve
with the way things are
and yes, I know that I will have to improvise
and make do
with the way things have to be
sometimes.
I am not an innocent man
nor is anyone so innocent
or fit to cast the first stone.
I am not here to find fault
or pick flaws.
No,
I am here to say that no matter how bad things seem
or regardless of how imperfect
we can be,
no one in the world
is more perfect for me
than you
and so,
as big as the universe is
and with all that I have seen,
I swear there has to be a reason why
out of nearly 8 billion people
you showed up when you did
right in front of me.
The Written Addiction 