A Box Beneath the Bed

What is this?
What are we working for? A house? A car?
Are we working to have a special life?
But more, are we happy with what we have?
What does it mean to have a good quality of life?

I wonder about these things.
When is enough, enough?
When can we sit back, or when do we get to say, ah, yes –
This is what we came for . . .

I remember being told that money cannot buy happiness. I remember thinking that maybe this was said by a person who lives poor or with an envious heart.
I think this is interesting.
Can you have nothing and be happy?
Can you have everything and still be miserable?

I’m sure there are partners who could argue for either side of this.
However, and as I have grown or as I have moved beyond my previous circle of influence, I can say that I have seen enough to realize that I have met my share of miserable millionaires.
I have met people who had it all, and no matter what they had, they still never seemed to have enough.

I live in a small place. I live with humble means.
Does this mean I am destined to be unhappy or poor, or does this mean that I have an opportunity to defy the expectations of a so-called superficial success.

I agree that money cannot fill the emptiness or that hole in your heart. I agree that toys are nice, and they’re fun to have, but what’s the sense of having great toys if there’s no enjoyment, no time to play, or worse, what’s the sense of having great toys if there’s no one to share them with, no one to play with, and no one to look back upon the memories of you and our toys and say, yes, that was a great day.

I am in a new world and entering a new chapter of life. Then again, we all are. To be clear about this, there’s always a new chapter about to begin, and yes, this happens all day, every day.
So, act accordingly.

There is no way for me to tell the future and no way that I can see what’s ahead.
We have to remember that all things are subject to change. This is true with life, love, business, friendships, marriage, and dreams.

I don’t have the same dreams as I did before.

My old dreams are not gone or forgotten. And neither is my desire to find where I belong. Now more than ever, I hold my head humbly, bowing to the sunrise and with a quiet mouth, I confess myself, my sins, my rights and my wrongs. As I allow the sun to lift and the day to begin, I exhale the panic of all that which is out of my control.
My old dreams are not gone or forgotten.
They’ve only been modified and adjusted.

There are some things that cannot be fixed or go back to the way they were. There are people who belong elsewhere, and despite the heart or the feeling inside, I realize that due to my imperfections and due to the imperfections of life, everything can, will, and happen for a reason. Equally, there is a reason why things happen.
Therefore, it is best that I pay attention . . .

There is a reason why we cross paths. There are reasons why we interconnect, and there are reasons why we stay or go. In the end, there is a greater picture waiting to be seen — that is, of course, if we dare to live or dare to work, or if this is to unfold and become so, then we have to be willing to dare to learn and dare to put in the work to make that bigger picture greater or even bigger than we ever dreamed this could be.

I have no right to cast blame or claim that I have been wronged or that I am a victim of circumstance.
Life is always happening. I am no better or worse.
Hindsight is always perfect. However, today is unfolded in real time. Therefore, there is no way to skip ahead or fast forward or skip the line.
Time moves the way time moves.
Period. End of sentence.
What was supposed to happen, did happen. Rest assured, there is no way to re-litigate or change the past. There is no way to find accountability for the unexplainable things that happened, and often, there’s no way to find out where things went wrong.
Fate stepped in.
And once more, I say this happens. Period. End of sentence.

I was thinking about miserable millionaires this morning. I was thinking about the items we need to make ourselves happy. Then I was thinking about the empty void, or life lived in a body, which is more like a vapid and empty shell.

I was thinking about the absence of love and the absence of connection. I was thinking about the settlements we’ve made in the past, which are agreements we signed for, and these are the agreements that compromised the value of our hopes and dreams.
These so-called settlements are what degraded our worth too because we agreed to a lower and lesser value because in the end, we didn’t want to be alone or we didn’t want to feel the emptiness or suffer the chill from the unfillable void.

I spend a lot of time at work. Then again, this is the same for most people.
And what is this for? A house?
A life?
A nice car and some nice clothes?

is this what makes people happy?

The fact is I spend more time working to have a few “things” than I do enjoying the “things” I work for.

So, now what?

Do I go back to the old drawing board?
Do I go back to school?
Do I start a business?

Or no.
I think the answer is this:  I realize that time moves much faster than we think.
Seconds are always ticking, and before time sneaks up on me even more, and before the lines in my face deepen with age, I have to live now, as hard and as strong and even as wildly as I can.

If time waits for no one, then I will not wait for time, which means the time to make a move is now.

I’m not waiting anymore. I’m not going to sit or stand by in some kind of sad holding pattern.

To hell with yesterday—except for the good ones.

I’m here to make today better so that when tomorrow comes, I can look at the toys I have, the modest and all, and I want to be able to look back and say that yes, that was one of my greatest days ever.
Alone or not.

It’s times to start living

now –