It is morning, again and I am grateful.
I am wondering about the birth and creation of new things or the possible rebirth of everyday life. I am thinking about our wealth that has nothing to do with our home address or the size of our bank account.
I am thinking about our inherent wealth. This is the wealth that we were born with and the wealth that we live with as well as the wealth that we overlook or take for granted.
We all have this.
I am here in the midst of so many things. I am alive and well, at least for the most part. I have all my fingers and toes. My eyes are not perfect, but I can see and therefore, I still have the benefit of sight.
I cannot hear as well as I used to but regardless, I can hear well enough to enjoy the sound of my dreams or my most special loved one.
I can touch and I can feel. I can taste. I can think.
However, I have grown to the point and understand that thinking is often the root of our own great suffering. Now is a good time to change this.
Or, at least I think so.
I understand that people can think themselves into chaos and that we can create attacks, wars, and terrible battles that never needed to happen. In some cases, we have fought wars in our head that are both imaginary and untrue. Yet, we fought these fights in our head and therefore, these fights become true.
Our assumptions can lead us astray. However, as we evolve enough to the point of a personal awakening, we find ourselves in the light of awareness. To me, our response to the light is often an interesting or strange thing.
I find that people avoid the light because the light exposes the hardness of their truths.
Maybe it’s easier to live blindly or stay in the dark.
I think about the times when we live in darkness, or how we avoid the truth. I think about the internal narratives and the inner voice. As this pertains to me, or us, or to you and to anyone else; I am thinking about how the whispers of our insecurity can be louder than any scream.
Trust me, the world screams out loud.
So does the truth which we fail to hear or listen to.
Love can be just as loud and so can beauty.
But it’s too hard to hear these things through the whispers of insecurity.
I go back to the assumptions or the tragic thinking. I go back to the self-propelled failures or the biased belief system that has failed us repeatedly. Yet, we place our trust in this doubtful thinking. We believe more about our turmoil instead of believing that better things are on the horizon.
The heart of our suffering comes from illness of our thinking. Of course, our thoughts and our thinking is the culprit of much, or if not most and all of our personal suffering.
I live in this thing I call the real world.
I understand that life is tricky sometimes. I understand that there is sadness and there will be pain, discomfort, and moments of challenge or discontent.
Life is not going to be a straight path towards the gates of all salvation.
Life is a constant source of exercise and learning.
Life can be hard too.
But life is life and in the end, nothing is more worthwhile than living life to its fullest and best possible potential.
I understand that patience grows like muscle. Love works the same way and, therefore, our emotional strength can only improve by ways of emotional fitness.
We are far tougher than we think. We all have the ability to endure.
We often lack the sight which can see that better things are on the way.
We might not see the newness of tomorrow, but it comes nonetheless.
We have to start practicing our emotional fitness.
Whereas, similar to physical exercise, we have to allow ourselves to learn new ways to strengthen ourselves by way of an emotional resistance.
Find your way.
Learn new ways to replace your weighty thoughts with the benefit of positive actions.
Do not allow yourself to become a victim or a product of your environment.
Get out of yourself, now!
Otherwise, you’ll never get out of this alive.
We have to relieve ourselves from the toxins and the unwantedness of deceit or the ideas of hurt and betrayal.
This is not to deny that we have been deceived, hurt, or betrayed.
However, rather than grip these truths, we can understand that this happened. And yes, this hurts. And yes, grief and loss and sadness are real.
But other things are real too.
We can be sad. We can see this and feel this process that took place.
But now, the question becomes how long do we need to hold these things for?
How long do we have to be sad?
Is there any rule that says we have to be depressed?
In fairness to these questions, how long do we have to allow ourselves to be held by strings and act as the puppet of our past?
I am as I am made.
This is me. No excuses.
I have faults and thoughts and insecurities. I have flaws and unfortunate ideas about myself and the way I look. Or as I mentioned previously, I have insecurities that whisper louder than any scream.
And so –
If thinking is the root of our suffering, then what can be done to relieve us from this emotional disease? What can we do to improve ourselves, one thought at a time?
I am sitting in my chair, across from you, my most special and beautiful friend.
You and I have been through the world together.
We fought and screamed, and we cried, cheered, and sometimes, we were at odds.
I understand this.
I understand the evolvement of understanding and the changes that take place when we improve our levels of awareness.
There is no more running from the truth. There is no more avoiding the light.
There is no more falling short or allowing ourselves to fall through the spiral of degenerative thinking.
I used to wonder and worry what people think about me.
What if I am seen as a fool?
What if I am ugly or unwanted and undesirable?
What if I am to be found out as incapable or unsuitable?
What if I am seen as weak or vulnerable?
Or –
what if someone sees the real me, and I am found wanting, or lacking or unbeautiful?
What if I am weak?
Then what?
My response to this needs to change.
If I were any of these things, would I be able to sit here, with you, like this?
If I were weak, would I be able to tell these truths, —and as vulnerable as they are, faults and all, would I be able to stand and say, “yeah . . . this is me.” If I was truly a coward, would I be honest enough to say that “yes, I have done wrong,” and closing in, while apologies do not always lead to forgiveness, or reconciliation; if I were so weak, then would I have the strength to expose these things?
No. I don’t think so.
The question now is this:
What am I going to do to make today the best day ever?
I don’t know yet.
But holding my discomforts are not going to lead me to where I want to be.
Stop our thinking.
Stop our suffering.
I think this makes good business sense.
Don’t you?
The Written Addiction 