A Way to Stop, Drop, and Let Go

I am a man, at least this is what I have been told. I am a man of different sorts and different experiences. I am a man of whit and arm and someone with a modest version of charisma, 
or at least I hope so.

I have lived a life or should I say that, somehow, I have spun around the sun more than 52 times.
I have seen great things. I have been to great places. And I have seen sad things and been to sad places.
I have endured and survived. At times, I have lost my freedom to the battles of self. I have been beaten back or retreated and found myself amongst the rubble of my own aftermath.
I know all about the weapons of mass, self-destruction.

I come as I am.
This is me. Right here.

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A Way to Stop, Drop, and Let Go

I agree, to each is their own. To each is their own life and yes, to each is their own mind, their own heart, and their own air to breathe.
Not to mention, of course, I say that to each is their own right to live up to their own standards. This is true.
To each is the right to live up to our own expectations.
Good or bad.
Pass or fail.
We all have the right to live, think, feel and believe as we choose to. We all have the right to live up to our own limitations, or to exceed them and surpass our best possible dreams and make them even better.

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A Way to Stop, Drop, and Let Go

If I am here, and I mean if I am truly here, as in present and mindful and alive and in the moment, then I have to understand what it means to be in the moment. This means I have to understand my attachments or what it means to let them go.

I say this because there is an artform which I like to call mindfulness. I swear this is beautiful.
This is alive and well and possible within all things (a least I think so).
However, this is not to say that it is simple or that no training is involved. No, this is a practice. This is a process which we learn to enjoy and perfect over time.
There is a personal level of awareness, which we call enlightenment. Hence, this becomes an achievement that allows us to be free from the bondage of self-doubt and overthinking.

This is a great thing to do.
And yes, this is a great accomplishment.

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A Way to Stop, Drop, and Let Go

I am not too far from you nor am I so far from who I am or who I want to be.
Either way, I know that I am where I am. And I know that this is where I am supposed to be.
For now . . .
Perhaps I should say that, if anything, I am more myself now than I have ever been before.
I am aware. I am broken but not destroyed.
I am healing but not at my best.
I say this is strength in the making.

I say this because, above all things, I have not quit. I have not given up and I have not excused myself from the responsibility of showing up and facing my downfalls or my recovery.

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A Way to Stop, Drop, and Let Go

I remember the saying I used to hear back in grade school. This is the saying that taught us, “You are what you eat,” and therefore, we are what we consume.
I agree. We are what we eat. We are what we consume.
We are what we think and feel.
I agree with this too because how could we be anything else?

We are the sum of our assumptions. Therefore, even if our assumptions do us a disservice, same as unhealthy foods can be unkind for the body, then unhealthy thinking is unkind to the soul.

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A Way to Stop, Drop, and Let Go

What are we? Or perhaps I should ask why are we the way we are?
Are we the body we live in? Are we the products of our environment?
Are we two kids who aged but never grew up?
I wonder.
Are we more than just living breathing things that walk and talk or think and feel?
I hope we are.
Is this a dream? If this is a dream, is there a way that we can change the plot?
Can we make a change to see something different or something new?
I think that would be nice.

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A Way to Stop, Drop, and Let Go

It is morning, again and I am grateful.
I am wondering about the birth and creation of new things or the possible rebirth of everyday life. I am thinking about our wealth that has nothing to do with our home address or the size of our bank account.
I am thinking about our inherent wealth. This is the wealth that we were born with and the wealth that we live with as well as the wealth that we overlook or take for granted.

We all have this.

I am here in the midst of so many things. I am alive and well, at least for the most part. I have all my fingers and toes. My eyes are not perfect, but I can see and therefore, I still have the benefit of sight.
I cannot hear as well as I used to but regardless, I can hear well enough to enjoy the sound of my dreams or my most special loved one.
I can touch and I can feel. I can taste. I can think.
However, I have grown to the point and understand that thinking is often the root of our own great suffering. Now is a good time to change this.

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A Way to Stop, Drop, and Let Go

Let it go.
I have been told this for years.
Let it go.
Stop thinking about the things that drag you down or pull you back and keep you from being free.

What does it mean to be free?
What does it mean to be disconnected from the thoughts which betray you?

Or here’s a good question, how often do you imagine the scenarios that hurt your own feelings?

What does it mean to separate or divorce yourself from the ideas that spin you around? Better yet, what causes you to spiral down and lose another day in your life?

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A Day Called Way Back When

Keep me, please.

Keep me with you, old memories, hanging like a light bulb in the attic of my heart. Keep me whole and present in the warmth of your bosom. Let me hold your memory like old lovers do, or like those who refuse to let go of one another.
Let me think this way and let me believe that the word never can never exist.

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A Day Called Way Back When

I go back to that old idea that helps me decipher between me and myself or the madness of my ideas. Better yet, I go back to the method that helps me salvage myself and keeps me breathing.
So?
Let me leave this here.
Let me leave my words without thinking about them and let me let my thoughts take off from this point.

Let me confess my thoughts which are not so crazy, to say the least, but dreamy if anything. I am hopeful, or like the aspirations of youth, I view my dreams as my spirit that stems from the purity of heart.
I am opening this entry with hopes to make myself clear, or if not clear, at least not misunderstood or muddied like a lake disturbed by the unwanted footprint of dirty souls.

Therefore, I confess.

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