And Then What?

1)

Have you ever lost your way
or have you ever lost more
than just yourself?

Do you know what it feels like
to lose your sanity,
or if we are bound to be brave
or brave enough to be honest
then let me ask you –

Have you ever lost your way
and found yourself missing
but in familiar territory, and with no emotional compass,
no direction
and no sense of personal orientation;
and if so,
have you ever lost your determination
or your position in this world?

Have you ever felt like you lost it all,
as in everything you had,
and wondered
how the hell
am I going to get it back?

Do you understand what it means
to lose the people, places, and things
that meant the most to you?
Did you ever lose your spot in line
or have you ever lost your place
where life made sense,
or so you thought.
If so,
did you ever lose someone
who you assumed meant everything,
only to learn that you meant nothing.

Or if at all,
or if anything
you learned that you meant nothing close
to what you thought
and hence
one thought became two
and two became four
and then all thoughts split like atoms
that blast into the atmosphere
and next,
you regard yourself and ask,
“Dear God, what the hell have I done?”

2)

Life was simple once,
remember?
Remember way back when
or when the ice cream truck
came around the corner
and our modern problems were reduced
to the size of tiny candies
like chicklets or rock candy
packaged in different flavors
and then, of course,
let’s not forget
the bags of Pop Rocks
or flavored gum that had flavors
which never lasted very long.

Remember?

Come to think of it –
Life is this way too
to which I say that everything
comes with flavors
which may or may not fade
depending upon the seasoning,
of course.

Or wait no
perhaps it is better to say that our flavored life
can be seasonal,
and I can see the same with winter,
spring, summer, fall
and sometimes
life is similar to the old nursery rhyme
because all the king’s horse’s
and all the king’s men
could not put our life
back together again.

Yes.
Life is seasonal,
no different from the birth of spring,
and the flourish of summer,
we find ourselves at this point
as in, like, now
when summertime
fades from green
and autumn begins to fall
so winter can its take place.

No one can kill you forever — I say
except yourself
of course.
No one can hold a leash around your neck
unless you give them your throat
in which case,
you find yourself breathing out
just so someone else
can breathe in.

There are no victims
only volunteers
and yet; I see people angry
about the life they signed up for
which either faded
or failed
or fell apart.

How can anyone find happiness
if they refuse to move on;
or if they cannot move on.
then how do we coincide without inciting
the riots from within.

Hell hath no fury . . .
. . .and I have little time
or should I say
I am closer to the end
than I am my beginning;
therefore,
it’s been a while
since I stopped the ice cream truck
or bought a package
of Fruit Striped gum.

The flavor never lasted very long
and neither did the temporary tattoos
but hey,
it was fun while it lasted.

Right?

3)

Feel the sun
for now
and remember this
because tomorrow
might not blow as warm
and we might not account for this day
as warmly as we do now.

Look up
and see the sky.
look for the moon
who refused to resign its position
just to see the sunrise.

It is morning, I say
and Purgatory has little influence
on the tides at the beach.

I understand,
and I say that yes
this makes sense.
I want to be the same way
and refuse to excuse myself
from the momentary beauty
of sunrise.

Therefore,
I think I’ll stay despite the transparent sky
that opens up
and gives me away.

Turn the other cheek
and don’t worry.
Trust me,
there will always be another war to fight.

But why?
Why bother?
Why impale each other with words
when we can be free of this
or free to leave or go in peace
and yes, we can be free to go
and never look this way again?

Why not?

I see that misery is a choice
and so is my search
to find freedom,
or as it said in the prayer
which I heard about long ago —
“Relieve me from the bondage of self.”

Let me go
Let me live
because no one can kill me forever
except for me –
of course.

4)

We are gathered here today
to say farewell to the summertime,
and so, until next year, or until we find ourselves
somewhere in the near future
or someplace where warmth outweighs the cold
or until we find us in a place
where the sun is generous enough to bronze our skin,
certainly, I say
this is just another moment,
and another point in time
or another season,
which has lost its flavor
(at least for now).

I saw an advertisement
for pumpkin spice coffee.
I associate this with the month of October
and, of course, November
and the time of Thanksgiving.

Time moves so much faster now.
It seems like it was only yesterday,
the summer just started
the current enemy was distant from the gates
and now, yesterday was already months ago.

I don’t know about you,
but I could use the sound of an ice cream truck
right about now,
and maybe an ice pop
or something sweet—

Like you~