And Then What?

How far have we come
since then
and what have we learned at all,
if anything?

There is a great misconception
which states that
we are all the same
or that if one thing is true,
then something else has to be true,
like if you do something bad,
you can never be good.

Well?

I have done bad things.
I have said unkind words
more than once.
I have made selfish choices
and I have lied in ways
that make the words self-serving
an understatement.

I have definitely spit at the ground
and I’ve shaken my fist at the sky,
and I have been known
to lose my temper
especially when driving
behind the wheel of my car.

I curse.
I swear.
I am a lot of things
but a saint is not one of them.

Am I good though?
Am I a good person?

I suppose this depends on who you ask.
Then again,
what about you?
Or what about anyone else we ask?

Is there anyone out there
who can honestly say
they have no skeletons
hiding in the closet?

But again,
how far have we come
since then?

24 years have passed
and what?
What have I done
since 9/11/2001?

Have I learned to straighten up
and fly right?
Did I learn how precious life is
and to value love, or my loved ones,
and since we are on the topic,
did I remember to understand
that time is infinite
but our time is finite

Life can change
or stop
at any given moment.

I heard the news about
a political influencer last night.
This was a man who was shot
and assassinated yesterday, and next,
I heard cheers from
the opposing political side
as if this man deserved to die.

He was called a social media
and political influencer
but I wonder if anyone else sees
or understand
that his kids just called him Dad.

I was there. You know?
In the city.
I saw the destruction of my skyline
and I watched my City run in fear.

I saw the rubble.
I saw the debris.
I have seen the twin lights
that beam from where the Twin Towers
used to be.

I am amazed that somehow
I have seen this
for years now. . .
or come to think of it
today makes 24 years,
to be exact.

But the question remains
and so, I ask again,
where are we now?

Am I a better person
or worse?
Have I taken advantage of the fact
that I am still alive?

Have I grown enough
to realize that I have the right
and the ability to overcome,
or to rise above the times
and do I realize that I can be better?

This is true.
I often shake my head
when hearing the younger generation
discuss what took place
on this day, 24 years ago.

I shake my head
because this happened
when they were oh, so small
or not even born yet
and I wonder if they know what it was like
to see people leaping from the buildings
and falling to their death.

But hey,
that was a long time ago,
right?

Have we become so desensitized
to hate or violence
that we have lost sight of
what hate and violence is?

I see people accuse
and scream for justice
but hypocrites are hypocrites
and injustice for one
is the same as injustice for all.

I listened to some videos
on social media last night,
which showed people laughing
and cheering and even smiling
about a man’s death.

This comes from a political side
who rages about the intolerance for hate
and yet,
I don’t hate anyone that much
to celebrate the fact
that someone got shot
. . . in the neck.

I wonder if the words
murder and assassination
still mean
what they used to mean.

And for the record—
I don’t do politics.
I don’t do the right side
or the left side
because as far as I can see
a bird needs both wings
to fly.
And, if so,
I suppose my question is
how can we ever plan to soar as a nation
if both wings are broken?

I don’t do the left wing, or the democratic party
and I don’t do the right wing,
or the republican party.

No.
I see myself as someone in the middle
or moreover,
I see us as people
and I am part of the working class
or the pumping source
that beats the heart of this country.

I may not have a lot of votes for me
or a lot of fans . . .
but I am part of this country.

And hey,
I suppose there will always be “my side”
and “your side” and there will always be wars
and there will always be fights
and political debates.

But for now
or at least I should say
“just for today,”
I will let this rest.

I work across the street
from Ground Zero.
I work across the street
from The Freedom Tower.

How far have I come?
Maybe not far at all.
Maybe I am better in some ways
and worse in others.

But whatever I am,
I am. . .

and so, just to get this off my chest
in case something happens today  
or should happen today
as in another attack
which I see as highly doubtful, still,
I am sorry for what I have done.
I am sorry for what I haven’t done as well.
I am imperfect.
I am a sinner, no different from anyone else.

But know this . . .
if I go down today
for some reason, or another,
just know that despite my faults
and flaws, I will do my best
to watch over you.

Always~