So, What’s it Gonna Take?

It never hurts to dream.
Of course not.

It never hurts to open yourself up to a vision so the mind can explore what our dreams will look like when the finally come true.
And I do this.
I do this often, in fact.
I have to.

I love how my dreams give my soul something to hope for. I love the dreams or the scenarios I create, as if money were no obstacle and fate was on my side.
And yes, I agree this is simple.
I agree this may seem almost childlike.
At the same time, I think the soul in my heart needs food to eat and air to breathe, which is why I feed my dreams and keep them alive.

I need this. I need this with all of my heart.
I said goodbye to the social gratification of keeping up with other people a long time ago.
None of these are about that.
None of these are about pride or ego nor is this to justify myself as a man or being successful.
I swear that it is successful enough just to stay alive.
No?

I dream because I have to.
I choose to do this because the alterative sees too unfortunate to me.
Yes, I dream.
This is my way to let my soul free.
This is my way of whetting the appetite and giving my personal hunger a reason to feast.

These dreams and my visions are what fuels my desire so that I can get up in the morning and go to work when I have to.
This is my motivation to meet you at the center of my journey and offer you a seat, which has been paid in full and intended for you — as in, always and forever.

I have told you that I believe fate and destiny know which way to go. I believe in some kind of divine intention because the world does work in a circular motion — always evolving and always revolving around the sun, which is only half as brilliant as you
(or your smile).
If this were not true, then how else does the world double-back and introduce people again?
I believe in the path of soulmates.
I believe in the destination of two souls.
I believe this truly and with all my heart, I believe this foolishly too.
I believe this regardless of the so-called immature wish that miracles do come true and the childlike theory that there is such a thing as happily ever after.
There are such things.
I know it.
It’s out there . . .

Who does this hurt for me to believe this way?
If anything, my disappointments will only hurt me.
Or adversely, or if at all, my disappointments can fuel my desire.
This can drive me to work harder or to not give up.
I can’t give up because no matter what the stars say or what the news shows, my true life is out there and as I always say — there is love out there for me.
I know it.

I believe in the truth of two soulmates. I believe in the two souls who are intentionally paired.
I believe in this the same as I believe in the divinity or truth or the Trinity, as in the name of The Father, and of The Son, and The Holy Spirit.
I believe in this, not because of some kind of social compulsion to conform to a God as I understand him. No, I believe in this because i choose to. I am not here because some man in a black suit with a white collar is standing behind a podium and telling me about the different versions of hell.
I’ve seen my share of hell.
But that’s not what this is about.
Not at all.

I have no time for the manmade hallucinations of how God appeared to anyone else.
However, I stand behind the truth of goodness and the need for me to have something to hold close to my heart.
This allows me the right to believe that even a wretch like me can be saved.
I love this the same as I love the dreams I have that somehow, the world will turn around and my future will open up to a life intended for my happily ever after.

I believe that wherever I go, there I am, and that no matter how far my travels have been — there is something binding and keeping me where I am for a reason.
I do not believe in the simple coincidences of some chanced meeting.
No.
Not at all.

I believe in the ability of two soulmates.
I believe that two people who come from similar, yet different paths, or two people who traveled to different places and saw different things and lived different lives can intentionally overlap.
This is not an accident.
I believe in the “before and after” realizations that come when we find this person; and while we might have been someone else before in a prior life, our worlds were destined to collide.
I love the idea of this explosion.
I love the devastation of our past which has finally detonated on a nuclear level, and ceases to exist.

We might have seen others and thought that we knew true love and we might have found this temporarily with different people, yet somehow, fate and destiny steps in and true life appears.
The stars aligned and two paths intentionally crossed to let the two soulmates know that this is where they belong — together.

I imagine the warm white sands on some distant shore where the sun is high, the palm trees are kind, and the wind is sweet.
I envision the waters, cool to the touch and turquoise, and the warmth on my body can not only bronze my skin, but equally soothe my heart.

I have no defense.
I admit this.
I am humbled and weak.
I am timid and growling, like a cornered beast who has become weak after being hunted and beaten by its sworn enemies.
I do not have much.
I have no great wealth to speak of.
Or like it was told by The Son of Man, I am not meek enough to inherit the Earth and with regard to the saying of how the first shall be last and the last shall be first, I lived too sinfully and pridefully to be positioned well on this list.

I am tired.
I am war-torn, scarred and bruised.
I have aches and pains. Like much of the world, I had a tab running for way too long.
I borrowed with too much selfishness and emotion, thinking I had more time to pay my debt.
But the bill came and yes, we all have to pay.
Everyone pays.
And yes, I can tell you that falling short means there’s an interest on the principal of our loans and a tax is always involved.
Like we all know, paying a high interest can suck the life out of you and taxes are always a bitch!

Change your steps to change your path.
Open your eyes to see your heart.
And if or whenever possible, and the time shows proof that your soulmate has arrived, grab this person with all you have.
Grab them with all of your heart and with all of your strength.
Do not let go.
Of course, not.

But when time allows, I say you need to dance with them.
Dance a slow dance.
Do this as if no one is watching, and even if someone else is watching, who cares?
Dance anyway.
Dance like no one else exists.
Close your eyes and feel every step.
Trust me.

Share your food.
Feed each other.
Enjoy the little things and pay attention to them so that they can grow

If you need a song to play when dancing, I have a few but this one comes from the heart.
Dance to a song called “Just when I needed you,” by Roberta Flack.
Call me whatever you want. Call me silly.
Put me down or say whatever.
But I have earned my place here.
I can say I have gone through enough hell, fights, wars and pain to call this song meaningful to me.

Don’t waste your time or your breath.

Say what you feel and feel what you say.
Do this from now until the hour of your death
(Amen).
Above all else, stay true to your dreams for this is what keeps us going long enough to feel alive.