But Teacher I Am Trying (My Best)

This one is not new.
Then again, everything I write to you is current, as in now and taking place as we speak.

The question itself is old and the question is this:
What would you say to yourself if you could go back to you at any age?

My answers have changed over the years.
Then again, so have I and so has my motivation.

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But Teacher, I Am trying (My Best)

I see them.
all the time
the youth
the young
or some may call them
the so-called disenfranchised youth
and the misunderstood, or the unusual.

I see them and think
how this usually brings us around
to the reason why
there are differences
at the different tables
in the school’s cafeteria.

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But Teacher, I Am Trying (My Best)

I suppose the worst thing to be
is to be the sum
of someone else’s assumptions,
or at least, I assume
the worst I can be is the sum
of someone’s conclusion.

Never be the beast
that someone else
claims you to be
and before anything else
never be the sum
of someone’s predictions.
Never do this
unless, of course
they predict something better
than the predictions
which you have predicted
for yourself.

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But Teacher, I Am Trying (My Best)

And so, what does it mean
to be beautiful?
I wonder.

I stand at the corner of hope
and wish that perhaps someday
I will find myself in greener pastures.
beautiful as ever, or if ever
I my hope is that
I should find my place
where I belong . . .
and when I do
I hope this place is graced
by golden sunsets that surpass
my wildest dreams.

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But Teacher, I Am Trying (My Best)

Verse 1:

Life comes
and I shake my head.

It amazes me.
All of this

Everything from the ground up
or from the grass roots of how we are
or where we come from; all of this
from the floor of our existence
and upwards to the limitless sky –
all of our “everything”
is amazing to me.

Still,
as beautiful as the world may be
and as amazing as the sunsets can appear
I understand.

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But Teacher, I am Trying (My Best)

The summer is gone
and it’s been a minute
since the warmth from the sun
was enough to bronze the skin

I know . . . 
My feelings for the seaside moments
will be with me until the day that I die.
I’m sure.
Of course, I’m sure.

At the same time,
if it were my choice
people like you and I would never die
because the truth is –
I could live forever
wherever the tides come in
and out
and allow me to forget
that you and I were once
forgotten.

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But Teacher, I am Trying (My Best)

Since it is so
that one became two
and two became four, then of course,
I understand the aftermath
of what takes place
when we decide to walk away.

Everyone has a past, you know?
Everyone has a history
and everyone has a story
that sits behind their secrets
or keeps us quiet
even when we scream.

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