One became two
and two became four
and so on
and somehow,
age takes place
and here I am now
much older than I am younger.
One by one,
the world turns around the sun
another time.
And she—
She is the inestimable version
of mankind’s reason to be irrational;
that is, of course
if love itself
is rational.
Or perhaps
I am irrational.
Yes, maybe that’s it
Or maybe I am fortune’s fool
as Shakespeare once wrote
My time while traveling
has been well spent
and yet, I have been ill-advised.
And so,
I assume
this what has altered our plans
at least, to some degree
Perhaps my plans were too loose
or maybe they were like the sands
that slip through the fingers
of our clenched fists –
Understand?
This is like the people we had in our life
but we gripped too tightly
or held them unfairly
and so,
they slipped away
without allowing for a better chance
to have closure, or at least
to find accountability
so we could understand
what went wrong.
I am told what is meant to be
is meant to be;
and so,
if this is meant to be
then let me mean this;
let me mean to be more
and say what I mean
before sliding down the spiral
of some unwanted journey.
or
maybe
I have said too much
and too little
and also
I have said unfair things
because, of course
I am only human
and thus, I am only a man.
Therefore, I admit that my immaturity
has gotten the best of me
more times
than I can count.
Therefore,
please pardon my appearance
while I try to recreate myself.
I am moving closer to something new
yet
the unknown is unknown
and tomorrow’s mysteries
seem to be laced
with yesterday’s predictions.
This is,
of course,
what I am trying to explain –
this is my way of saying that
my projections are predictions
made from biased assumptions,
which, in fact
these are how self-fulfilled
prophecies take place
and become the reason
why our history
repeats itself.
Or worse
this is why dreams fail to launch.
So,
I tell on myself . . .
here and now
to face the change
and find the bravery it takes
“to accept the things I cannot change”
and understand the courage it takes
“to change the things I can.”
But this only works
if I have the wisdom
to know the difference.
(you know?)
Her heart is like a song to me.
And yes
the birds and the bees
have nothing on us,
not even close—
at least, not when it comes
to us or how we are when the doors close.
I am unhinged
and admittedly
this sounds crazy, I know
But yet,
in any case,
I walk slow to approach the orchard
of my dreams
with hopes to find that her flowers bloom
in ways that are unassumed by man.
I want more than just
“my love”
and I want more
than just the thrill
of her skin.
I want it all, and yes,
I want more than what
is assumed by man
Yes, of course,
I am a man
searching, looking
hoping
and listening for a sign,
like how the sun lets us know
the day is about to end
or the moon takes turns
and shapes the nighttime
with different faces.
the moon tells a story . . .
and so do we
I know.
I know her love is infinite
and out there.
always calling me
like church bells
calling to their congregation.
I wonder
has anyone ever passed
the corners from their youth
and wished they could retrace
their steps
to see where they got lost. . .
only so they could go back
and say,
“it was you
all along.”
It’s always been you
I wonder how many people consider
their circumstances
and wish they could redo
what was done
Of course,
you have done this.
And,
So have I.
My mind is traveling backwards
which is unhelpful
when it comes to my forward journey.
But I find comfort in one
and very special truth.
Two souls can be anywhere
I suppose,
And fate doesn’t mind the distance
because destiny knows the game
and how to place us
like pieces to a puzzle
which essentially comes
with answers to our riddles.
I have no time
nor is there any reason
to harbor resentments
or breed my contempt.
It is . . .
. . .what it is.
I hate this saying
but hate is meaningless
when the saying is true
Life is unfolding
one trip around the sun at a time.
One became two
and two became four
and somehow
53 trips around the sun
has shown me this;
years go by
far quicker than we think.
Time is moving
fate is plotting
and destiny
is waiting for us
to make our move.
I have limited time
to work my magic
and pull off my trick.
And no,
my plan is this –
I am not looking to trick anyone, per se,
and nor is this set to elevate
a new level of deception —
but more
this is my way of saying
I have to find my way
without looking backwards
or over my shoulder.
That part
needs to stay behind me
from now
until the hour of my death
(Amen)
She—
I talk about her often
as if she were someone else
but we both know
(you and I)
that she is you
and you are her
because you have always been her;
and in whichever way I have
envisioned you,
time has changed me
and the absence of your presence
is enough to make realize
that yearning is not enough
and loving you
is only part of the solution.
Ad so,
I agree.
I am a man
on a mission
Life without love
is not living
and living without love
is not life to me.
And life without you
is just life without you
and so,
this is not the life
that I am looking to live
I have always known you
or, at least
it seems this way to me
And me?
My love changes
same as the face of the moon
in the nighttime sky.
Yet my love is always there;
where it’s supposed to be
and so are you
I hope
My love is the same as the sun
when it takes the stage
and rearranges the colors
across the horizon.
This is my heart
and you are the dawn
that shares my truth,
My love comes from the heart
imagining the dreams
and experiencing the things
I feel when I think about your face.
My love is the sum of all my fears
combined with all I have
to dare the world
and to to dare it all,
because one became two
and two became four—
But the more I travel
the more I know
that you are the sum
of all my dreams
You are the sum
of everything to me
You are fate’s hand
and destiny’s decision
to put me where I am now
And so,
where am I now?
Well?
I am exactly where I was.
I am in the same place
as always
Waiting~
Good morning to you
on the first day of the New Year.
I hope this one
brings us one step closer
and at the same time
I hope this year takes us
another step
farther away.
So, we can breathe together
and essentially
so we both
can escape the sums of our past
finally—
The Written Addiction 