I suppose the worst thing to be
is to be the sum
of someone else’s assumptions,
or at least, I assume
the worst I can be is the sum
of someone’s conclusion.
Never be the beast
that someone else
claims you to be
and before anything else
never be the sum
of someone’s predictions.
Never do this
unless, of course
they predict something better
than the predictions
which you have predicted
for yourself.
I cannot assume
that I am better or worse to you
than the person
you assume me to be . . .
Then again
there are so many things
you don’t know about me yet
and so many things
you haven’t seen
or that I haven’t shown you, —at least,
not as much as I want
(yet)
I want you to know more
but, in the case
that I miss my chance
or lost my place in line,
and if it is so
that my window
of opportunity closes,
then let me leave this here
for you
to pick up
where I left off.
Time is ticking, my love
and our biases do nothing
but disturb our perception
so, before the hours move too fast,
let me say what needs to be said
now.
Allow me to advance
before I am forced
to vanished
or life makes a change
where you disappear
or without objection
let me say this
so that I will not have to
“forever hold my peace.”
There are so many things
you do not know about me
and at the same time
you know everything
there is to know.
But there is more to me
Good things
Deep things
Dark things and true things.
There are things about me
that no one else would know
or care or dare enough to see;
yet, I want you to know this
and show this to you
before I have to endure
another regret
There is more to me
obviously
because there is more than who you see
and more than my exterior
more than what I portray
or show the world
and before my so-called cover
leads me to be judged,
I am more than you think
and more than I have ever shown
anyone else.
I know that I never dared this much before
at least
not before you.
You are part of me and so,
I am equally part of you,
which I see as undeniable
at least, to me
and so
no matter how you see me;
no matter where we are,
where I go
how far apart we are,
and no matter where we end up in this world;
I have learned
one hell of a valuable fact.
And this is true.
No matter how fast we run,
there is no getting away
because no matter where you go
there you are.
I cannot deny
the reality of where I am
as opposed to where you are
right now.
There are things
like the way I am
for example
or the way I look,
and there are items about me
which I have tried to hide from
and no matter how I’ve tried
I have always circled back
and come home to this.
This is me—
I am more than the sum of my past
and even more
I am more than my time before now.
I am more than the assumptions
of who I might be
and I want to be more to you
after this message exits the atmosphere
to explore the universe which is where I send this
to reach you . . .
. . . so, please know
It is unfortunate and sad
but equally true
that neither you nor I
have been here before
—or even better
and to gain clarity
both you and I
are experiencing life
for the very first time.
I have heard it said this way
and yes, I agree.
No one knows
how to handle life when the bottom falls out
and no one knows what to do
when mortality shows itself.
No one knows what to do
when heartbreak happens,
and no one knows why the pain hurts
yet, you cannot see the pain . . .
. . . you can only feel it
and no one knows why
but almost everyone in this world
has wondered
(at least once)
has anyone ever died
from a broken heart?
I will save you the suspense
and answer this question
both honestly
and easily.
Yes.
We all die
from broken hearts.
And yes, we die a thousand times
for different reasons
and we suffer a thousand catastrophes
and yes, we face tragedies
and too
we often die alive while waiting for
our life to begin.
I swear this is real
and true.
Dying alive is all too real
and all of this happens
all too frequently
until the day comes
and we wake up to realize
that yes,
we only have one shot
at this life.
Therefore,
it is best for us
to make this work.
I suppose the biggest crime
is the theft of life
or the theft that takes place
when we allow ourselves
to be stolen
and lose to our theft of services.
Love is a service.
Love is an action
and hate is the action
which defies us
and robs us from our truth
I say this
life is meant for the living
yet, so many of us
are only existing.
There is so much
that I would love to show you
such as
they way the sunset looks
when it sets above the sea.
And I understand
that you have seen this before
but I want you to see this with me
together.
I want to show you
what the world looks like
when the full moon
shines down
across a snow-covered field
at a place from my youth.
I see you.
I see the world around you
and the life you deserve, which I pray
this finds you.
The world is a strange
and beautiful place.
And you,
I have said this before
and I need to say this
again—
No matter how beautiful
someone is
on the outside,
if they are ugly on the inside
then they can only be average
at best.
And trust me,
my love . . .
. . .nothing about you
is average.
in fact,
you could never be ugly or average.
not even if you tried.
The Written Addiction 