There is no space between now and then.
I know this both intellectually
and emotionally.
The physical distance between us
is only something
that discusses our proximity;
and yet, I am not closer
nor farther from you
and nor can I ever be distant
from you now or ever again
because I could never be far
from anyone who lives in my heart.
I am not far now
and so you know –
I am much closer than you assume
because I will never be far
from anyone I love
and I promise
I could never be far from someone
who is born from the roots
or destined to become my soulmate
I know this is true.
Or I can tell you;
I know that this is true to me.
This is true to me
even if this is not true to you
or to anyone else,
And, if this is me
then this is me because
I have learned, time and again
that the distance between you and I
can be shortened,
if we just learn to travel
in a straight lines.
And life is crooked
and so are the people around us.
We lose sight of the truth
or in fairness to the truth
we mistake our opinions for fact
and we assume that our assumptions
are all true.
But what does this do
and to what avail?
How does overthinking stimulate
our better receptors
to experience love, joy,
or to enjoy the sentiments of dancing
in the rain?
There is no distance between the past
or the present and while the future
is up ahead and around the corner,
there is still no physical distance between us
At least, not really.
Years have gone by, and the distance
between now and then
isn’t real anymore.
All there is now
are memories of things, and recollections,
or relived moments
that arrive when something triggers our senses.
Or think about this . . .
think about how a song comes on
out of nowhere,
which automatically triggers the spark
and suddenly,
we can remember people, places, and things
from times when life was different,
—the lights were brighter,
the times were sweeter
and the world came off
with a different flavor.
I know that there is more to this place
than what I see.
I know there is love in the air,
despite the hatred or the animosity,
and no matter how many feuds we find
I know full and well
there are things in this life
that that are overlooked
which are generous and kind.
I know this.
I know there are times
when I have to look deeper
or beyond what I see
on the surface.
I know that not everything
is as tragic as it seems,
except tragedy, itself.
Of course.
But what is tragic?
What is tragedy?
Or what is so tragic that I (or you)
should have to lose our place in this world?
What is so terrible or wrong
that you and I should forfeit our right
to be happy?
I don’t know much.
I know that.
However,
what I do know is
there is a place in my heart,
which of course;
this is where I store all of my dreams.
I launch them like tiny air balloons at nighttime,
to watch them drift upwards
like tiny candle that reach the stars
and light up the sky.
I know that I am mistaken.
I know that I am easily misplaced.
And I know there are things
that can help bring me back
to the warmest nights ever . . .
These are the times
when the moon was full
and the sound of the beach was like a symphony
that sung along
and brought on the romance—so at last,
we can breathe,
or laugh,
or listen to our body’s music
and find ourselves mixed together
on a blanket along the beach
and that lays upon the sand.
And for the record,
I have never had sex on the beach.
Or at least, not yet.
I have these downtown memories
and dreams of places I have been to,
which I would enjoy a memorable return
—not just to go back
or to relive the moments,
or to enjoy the nostalgia
of what took place.
I want to go back
but not just to remember
what it meant to be young,
or to be wild.
No
I want to revisit these places
to let the landmarks know
about what they have done for me.
Ad albeit too huge to notice me;
I want the universe to know
what these moments and these memories
mean to me.
And although I am small,
and perhaps I might be meaningless
to the rest of the Universe,
I have moments and memories,
recollections and moments
that live in my heart.
These are the counting moments
that add to my existence
and make up the days of my life.
And so I close, and so it goes
another day is behind me
and another one is about to begin.
I recall a funeral,
which was sad and in fact, tragic.
I recall the sermon and the minister who said,
may the memories you have
that bring you tears
later turn to the memories
that bring you joy
and bring your children back to life.
This means a lot to me
for more reasons
than I can share.
I have more to do.
I know this
I have more to say as well.
And I have more things that are still undone,
like sex on the beach,
or a walk across a field from my youth,
which I will only share with you
and only you.
I cannot say what will happen.
I don’t know why life changes
or why circumstances
change their direction.
All I know is there is no distance
between now and then.
All of this is only in my mind
. . . and you?
You have been on my mind
in infinite ways and you will always be
on my mind
You will always be this way to me,
both infinitely and intimately,
and elsewise, —I don’t care what has to happen.
I don’t care if I have to dare the gates of hell.
I don’t care if I have to face another battle
with the gods of fate or war.
Let them all come
because if this is all in my head,
then all of this is in my head and hence,
I can win any battle ahead of me,
so long as I know
it is you who will be facing me
and waiting in the distance
No one is ever going to love you
as much as I do.
I am small and imperfect.
I am not tough by any stretch
and nor am I so strong
that I can take another step like this,
—but I will, if I have to.
And I will if this means
that the next step I take is the step
that brings you and I together
One step at a time.
I heard a song last night, —out of nowhere.
It sparked all of this
in my heart
Billy Joel always seems to know
when to find me too.
His lullaby seems to know
how to speak for me and somehow,
I know in my heart
that this speaks for you too.
At least, I hope so
Thank you Stars . . .
and I hope the following is true:
“Someday we’ll all be gone
but lullabies go on and on.
They never die
that’s how you and I
will be. . .”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcnd55tLCv8&list=RDdcnd55tLCv8&start_radio=1
The Written Addiction 