I am at an impasse at the moment.
I have been here before too.
Only now, everything seems different.
I swear, this is like walking down same street for decades
and now, somehow, everything is strange to me
or maybe I have outgrown myself (again)
Or wait . . .
perhaps this is nothing more than another crossroad
or maybe this is another choice.
Could be . . .
Two trains heading out from the same station,
and both head in the same direction
And both trains shoot through their separate tubes
and go to alternate place.
Which train do I take?
Choosing left over right changes the experience
for the rest of my life.
Outcomes are unknown
but if we knew
I often wonder
if we would board the train
just to find out someone
or something is either unbecoming
or anticlimactic in the end.
The Hudson River is frozen now . . .
. . . sheets of ice flow from north
to south . . .
this is a cold sight
but beautiful
nonetheless.
I really do love my city
but then again
you already knew this about me
or even better
I suppose you know all the reasons why
“she” is my home
and “I” will always love her
I am in a state of awe,
or maybe I am aware
And my levels of consciousness have improved
or perhaps nothing is as strange as it seems
and maybe, just maybe
and for the first time,
I have opened my eyes to the fact
that we all continue to move and grow
and maybe now is a good time
to start my own kind of personal revolution.
I stand behind my line
you can stand wherever you choose
but no one can cross this line
unless
I invite them
Maybe this is not what I assume.
Maybe I am not at an impasse
or a crossroads at all
and the reality is
this is nothing more than another pivotal point
that acts like another intersection
between this step and the next.
Step
I say step
because we are always one step closer than we think
and adversely
we are often one step farther away
if we think a out it.
Beware the deception of your perception
because not everything is
as you assume.
Say, like,
take my love for example.
Sure, I am dirty
or imperfect and broken
but my love is whole
and the love from my heart
is wholesome –
more so than you think
There is a brand new sense of life
and a new wish for me |
to live without the need for expectations.
But more,
this is a brand new feeling of consciousness.
I swear.
I am awake,
It is cold, of course,
but this is winter in New York
So what else would it be?
All the birds above that swarmed over The Hudson river
are flocked together
like they did that time when I was watching
a documentary about a boy who died too young.
But then again, all boys who died
are boys who died too young
I am not a boy anymore
but I can say that yes
I am too young to die
and too young
to be old.
It is not by consequence that chance
or happenstance has put me here.
No, I assume that it is true when people say
“everything happens for a reason.”
There’s a reason for everything.
Or there’s a reason why things happen
Actions lead to reactions
and reactions lead to another act
which is our so-called ripple effect
that disturbs the peace.
I want to see the pools of tranquility
and be fine not to move
like the palm tree
curved in perfection
enjoying the sun and the breeze
and me,
I want to be as still as the bluest lagoon
so I can enjoy serenity
and inhale tranquility
while Mother Earth
allows me to breathe.
Breathe, I say
this is proof that you and I
are far more alive than we thought.
Everything has a science or a chemistry
and I or me, or us as individuals;
we are all equally driven
by some kind of scientific bond
that makes us either attract or push away
No Bible can convince me of otherwise
and no preaching can take me away
from the fact that some things are happenstance,
like passing an old newspaper
which is facedown and dead,
and some things are intentional,
like the way people overlap
or meet in strange places
and connect under the strangest circumstances.
Nothing about this life is accidental –
Or coincidental.
I believe in the abilities of fate and furthermore,
I believe that no one coincides unless
life places them on a path where people
like you and I collect like rivers to the sea.
I know that the sun intends to rise
and go down at sunset
The moon will do the same
on the opposite side of the spectrum
And on occasion
The moon will hang around in the morning,
just to see the sunrise,
which I get.
it’s a beautiful thing to see.
the sunrise, I mean.
It is our perception that needs adjusting.
It is our understanding that needs to be updated
because, after all,
life is evolving and the world is changing,
right in front of us.
we don’t have to be at war anymore.
The sun is starting to make its way to the sky
and today’s sunrise was earlier than yesterday
and yes
today is one step closer to tomorrow.
And we . . .
You and I
We are either one step closer
or another step further away from something
and so
whatever awaits is yet to be determined.
One more day
Just one more
I hope this brings us closer
to where we want to be
Or if nothing else,
I hope this shows a sign
and gives us an answer
The rest of our life is unwritten for now –
All I know,
Is that I want to be where I’m supposed to be
so that my sunset sees what I am supposed to see,
which is me hopefully
by your side
I’ve never seen the sunrise in Fiji
Have you –
and if not
would you care to?
The Written Addiction 