And This? This Is More

And all at once, everything changed.
My eyes opened to the truth.
And yes, it was that simple.
Just like that.
All that was before was gone away and all at once, I saw myself differently.
I was free.
And now, here I am.

I saw this as if something magical happened. and yes, I call this magic.
I call her magical too.
But that is besides the point.

I saw this as if the lights came on and at last, finally, I could see clearly.
I could see past myself. I could see ahead and for once, I stopped depending upon the lights behind me from the bridges I burned to guide my travels
It was not real, I say.
It was not me or you.
No, this was fate opening us up to a brand new phase, and just like that, finally, the previous chapter closed so that the new one could begin.

I have no time or energy to look back and think about what could have been.
Nothing is more wasteful than that.
I do not care about what should have been. I have no time to worry about these things because whatever should have happened, did happen and hence, this is why we are where we.
I think it is importat to remember that.

There is no reason to rethink or look back anymore.
There is only the lights ahead at a new shoreline which is promising to say the least.

There comes a time when the riddles and the lies become pointless.
Or even better, there comes a time when reality opens up to the truth, which is that time is too short and life moves too fast to waste our efforts on living with the wrong people and loving the wrong person.

No, do not love the one you are with.
Love the love that your heart has always chosen.
Do not let go.
I don’t care what the probles are.
Fix what you can.
Hold strong and keep going.

There comes a time when your heart screams out too loud and so, in the interim, you look around before you have the bravery to move.
You see what you have and thus, you see what you want, and you realize that the two are nowhere close to the same.
Why lie like this?
Is that even living?
I say no

I see no reason to placate the rituals or the routines anymore. I see no reasons to short oneself and deny the beaty of passion or the victory of what it feels like to make love.
I want this.
I want to have each of our triggers pulled to the excess of satisfaction.
I see no reason to hide the truths or the fantasies or the urges, like, say, the way temptation takes over when we are supposed to be thinking or paying attention to everyday business.
But yet, all I want to do is ravage you and get you naked as fast as possible.

I see no reason to deny the way I view legs or how I assume that she is always teasing me.
And she is.
I think about the way she dangles one of her open toed shoe on her toe, while sitting crossed legged and in her dress, exposing her thighs to me, bouncing her leg up and down in some kind of taunting ritual. And I know she does this to drive me wild.
She does this as if to welcome my inner beast so that yes, I can let the animal go and eat her alive.

Yes, I have an appetite. I love to eat and lick and suck and taste.
I cannot take it.
No.
I really can’t.

I have a drive inside of me which makes me like a madman or a wild man, and I am set free when she walks in the room.
I can’t wait to see what she is wearing.
I can’t wat to rip her clothes off.
I can’t wait to smell her skin
or feel her touch.

I love this . . .
I love the temptress in her and the wild seductive foreplay that makes me feel as if I can break through walls and crush the enemy.
I can either build or destroy and be stronger than anything on this planet.
I swear!

I want to be a hero.
I do.
I want to be the villain as well.
I want to tease her and taint her and steal her purity and make her mine.
And still, I want to worship her.
I want to devour her and I love this too, —I love every inch of her.
I love her curves.
I love the way her thighs feel thick to me.
God, this is amazing.
I love her body.
I love every mark on her skin, which I have memorized and detailed so that when I am alone and in the dark, I can allow my thoughts to thrill my spirit, to make me full and reach out to the love gods with a spell of my own before going to sleep.

Everything about her is beautiful
I want this.
As in right now.

But for now, all I have are my fantasies and like I said, life is too short to live in a fantasy.
Rest assured, I am coming for you.|
And when I do, I will find you and arrive inside you. deep and wet. And I will do this in a way that claims you as mine for life or longer, from now until the end of time.

Amen.

I dreamed of you last night.
I wish you felt what I felt
but for now
I will leave this here
for when you are ready

The best part of making a personal change and opening my eyes was the fact that I will never have to live a lie or be someone else, ever again.
I hope you like the real me.
This is all that I have
and all that I have is yours
if you want it