I agree when you tell me the world is a mixed back of tricks.
Of course, it is.
Look around.
Do you see?
There was a man selling tickets to the resurrection on Vesey Street and Church the other day. I told him I had to work that day, but maybe I’ll catch my salvation on the flip side.
Who knows?
I agree there are beautiful things, all around us. Like, say the way sunrise looks when I am driving downtown on the FDR and then heading west on Fulton.
I have reasons for my connection to both the East River and The Hudson, of course.
Both sides of Manhattan have seen me through different periods of my life.
I have grown and regressed. I have fled and come back.
I have seen this place from the Eastside and the West. And I have come to a different understanding of William Shakespeare’s meaning when he wrote, “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”
I can say that yes, the world is mad and crazy and the wilderness in the city has its up and downs in the concrete jungles.
That’s for sure
But I?
I will always love my city, no matter where I am or where I go.
I will always love you too because YOU are the proof of what my city means to me.
You are the love of my life and the spine which somehow causes me to bend when I see you, because, of course, I am weak when it comes to you.
I envision you all too often and yes, I am consumed by you, all too frequently/
And so, to you, I surrender. Or like the prayer says, I surrender myself to you, to do with me or build with me as you will.
I have seen both the wealthy and the poor side of my city. I have seen the masked and I have seen them when their sneak encounters are exposed, which causes their masks drop.
And, ah ha!
They run like scattered roaches when the lights come on; too afraid of their outcomes, or petrified to be exposed, or worse, they are too afraid to be seen for their truths.
But such is life.
And such are the reasons why the devil too, knows the He exists. Yet, still
the devil trembles.
And so do I, for the most part.
I have seen everything from the Downtown Trannies who worked the corners on 14th Street, and to the Uptown crowds, and even the opera scene or the Times Square madness before the hour stuck midnight on New Year’s Eve.
I have seen the different parts of this place.
Same as you have.
I can say that I have seen the sick. I have seen the staggering and the weak and the mighty who fell to the methadone gods near 35th Street and 8th Avenue.
I have seen the worst of them, from the weak to the murderous and yes, I have seen the so-called upper-crust and visited them in their tuxedoes after their arraignment took place.
I have seen the so-called pretty and their finer dining rooms, and of course, I have learned about their secrets or their lies. And more than anything, I found out how the rich got richer while the poor grew poorer.
I stood in stationhouses. I stood at the foot of The Twin Towers and saw my skyline before the year 2001.
It is true. Hell is empty and all the devils are dressed in both bright and dark colors>
Everyone is here and like any other chameleon, I have watched the devils camouflage themselves, like wolves in sheep’s clothing.
I know people who represented the scripture, which said, “Behold, I send you out as sheep amongst the wolves.”
I have been blessed by them.
But maybe I was blessed but to no avail.
And whether the good ones were wise as serpents and peaceful as doves, I cannot say.
I know who was kind to me
And I know who was unkind.
I know the monsters who helped me in my own hell and I have seen the ugly turn beautiful in ways that my words cannot define.
Even in hell, the Angels exist. And I know because I have seen them and watched them remove the dirt from the fallen souls who never earned their wings.
The devil is nothing more than a mind trick.
He knows me better than I know myself. He knows how to stir my echoes and keep me guessing.
Hell is empty, indeed.
But I know where the Angels are.
I know there are Angels among us.
I know there is hope the same as I know there is love out there, waiting for us both
I have no reason to grab or hold my resentments anymore.
I have paid for my sins. Yet, I am far from absolved.
Either way I can let go of all this, right here and now.
I can let go now.
In the ways of the world and in light of my destiny, I can say that yes, the devils are all here and they live well and they all prosper.
I can see how this happens too.
Life is not all sunflowers and ladybugs, or rainbows, and happily ever after fairytales.
I know this all too well—and so do you.
Or so I suppose.
One of my biggest mistakes is that I often assume too much, and I assume either the worst or I assume the feelings of others, which may or may not be true.
I know.
I can say that I have seen violence, up close and personal.
I have seen a bullet hit the flesh. I have seen fights and stabbings, and I have seen bats get crashed across someone’s head.
I saw buildings go down in the most violent way. In fact, I watched my city run for cover. I was there when thousands perished on 9/11.
I have seen the pretty smiles of crooked thieves who appear so nonchalant, and they grin their innocent lies, even after they knifed their friends in their backs to climb another rung on the ladder of their “social status.”
Mind yourself of the devils you pose with.
Their grin is more seductive then you think.
I swear.
I have seen the poor become wealthy and I have seen the mighty fall.
I have fallen more times than I can count.
I have lost more than I care to remember.
But one day, I swear, this dream will be mine.
And I might be dead when this happens and this dream might not come until I find myself in my ultimate sleep—but slumber or no sleep at all, I can say that my eyes have seen the most beautiful girl in this world.
And is she perfect?
Well . . .
she is to me
and one day, come hell or highwater
She will be mine
The Written Addiction 