We are who we think we are. Otherwise, who are we?

If we believe that we are enough or if we believe that we have value and that we are worth the world then, of course, we are worth more than say, if we think we are worthless or otherwise, a burden or a bother.

“As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.”
James Allen

Sunday morning –
The sun is coming up and there is so much to do. Yet, there is nothing to do at all – except to disconnect or to relax or to let go of oneself, or to allow the moment to be sufficient enough that ah, the sunrise is here and the new day upon us is enough to cover us like the first wave of a high tide that covers the dry side of the shoreline.
Quenched of its thirst.

Back when I was younger, I eventually thought that I’d be tougher.
Somehow.
And I don’t mean this as if to say that I am not tough or that I have never been tough at all.
No, I can say that there were spurts of toughness and acts of mine that were the toughest of all because, above all, my acts were true, same as all of this is true – or at least this is true to me.

I have heard the saying, “life is short.”
And it is. Time is ticking.
The clock is on and yes, life is too short to be complicated with indecision, which means now is the time to move.
Now is the time to stand up. Or better yet and in the spirit of this journal – now is the time to cross these items off of our list.

This means now is the time to live.
Take a risk.
Go someplace. Do something different.
Don’t be afraid.

And so it was. A time.
A moment.
A fiasco or two, maybe.
Who can say?

Life is moving now. And me? I am reconnecting with myself.
I look back at the different stages of my life. And to each is their own beginning. To each is their own middle and to all is their own ending.
This is life –
cyclical

I remember back when I was a kid and The Old Man would tell me that I quit too easily. He’d say that I gave up too quickly, that I didn’t even try or that whenever things were tough or the fight was too much, I’d fold up and give in.
He told me that I didn’t have any stick-to-itiveness.
Stick-to-itiveness . . .
It’s a good word

What does it mean to have fun, anyway?
What does it mean to trip the light fantastic? Or to dance or to sway to music?
What does it mean to toss all of our cares behind us and completely abandon all regards of that which is beyond our control?
Imagine?
What does it mean to live or love, or laugh or learn and be in the moment and to live, just in that moment; as if nothing could take us away from this; as if nothing could stop or destroy us; and for the moment, what does it mean to be so filled with satisfaction and the absolute pleasure of being in one single solitary minute, just a minute, that’s all – and to be so entwined in this, that for the time being, there is no wrong; there are no such things as cruelties to humankind – and/or, for the moment, what does it mean to literally and viscerally feel the celebration of life around us?

While it would be nice to describe the start of my day begins with a walk to a mailbox at the end of a long driveway in a secluded section of town, nice big house, a community among the stars, maybe we could put this somewhere out in sunny California, or maybe elsewhere at a place where the rich live and the homes are mostly paid with royalty checks and the bank accounts are all full with an accountant to monitor the flow of expenses. But no.
The truth of the matter is I am a worker. I have bills. I have a small apartment and a car that has seen better days. I have expenses and for the time being, I am spread thin and often I find that I have to burn the candle at both ends so that I can make ends meet.

I have been asking myself a question throughout this entire journal, which is simple.
What do I want the most? Is it happiness? Is it peace? Is it redemption and a shot at a greater salvation?
Or have I started this so-called list of mine to redeem my spirit?  Is this based on the need to see the world or taste the nectar of life without ever looking back with a second of regret?