188)

And so,
I, being of sound mind and memory,
do hereby make,
publish and declare this
to be my will and going further,
I also make, publish
and declare this
to act as a testimony
of my life, my past,
my mistakes
and without regard
for the uncertainty
of my future and going forward,
I do hereby make, publish
and declare this to echo
and sound out
as a means
to explain the world behind me.

183)

I am sitting in a new seat
in an old familiar place,
crazy as possible
just to keep myself sane;
and yet, I am where I am
which is no different from the last
or the previous spots
in my life.

180)

Today begins with a perfect number,
and dare I say it
despite the flaws,
this world is a perfect place,
and since I did say this,
then I have to say
that life is a beautiful thing.

177)

I think to myself
what are the chances?
What are the odds?

What is the chance
that someone like me
can get to where I want to be,
or even more,
what will give me the mindset
or the edge
that allows me to withstand and endure,
and more than anything else,
what’s the chance that I can
make my way?

173)

I never read my old journals,
or look back, or more to the point
after I hit the magic “send” button,
my aim is to let this go, or publish,
or send my thoughts elsewhere;
as if to take on an action
of letting go
or rid myself from the unwanted items
in my heart, or as a means
to release my sentiments that need to go
or stay, or as a means to claim my place
in this world, as I know it
or as I want to be seen;
I “put it out there,” as I have been told.

166)

The bottom line is this:
always be you
or at risk of upsetting the grammar gods,
never not be you
no matter what
you should
always be yourself.

163)

I say this to you now
and I will say this again
only this time
I am going to say this
in different parts
and in different ways
to get my point across.

162)

Let’s call this a toast
or call this something
or let me call this nothing else
but a reflection of my respect.
or let’s call it what it is
so we can leave it at that
and get on with it.

I raise my glass to those
or to them who remain unafraid
and I raise my glass to those
who remain untested
and to them, I say
may the tests from life be brief
but impactful.

159)

You need the rain,
sometimes,
because sometimes,
you need a day
to sit back
and let the gray sky
do its trick.