I come from a small town approximately 31 miles east of New York City. In my youth, I walked nearly all of its streets, searching for a sense of identity while trying to find my purpose and understand the meaning of life. I have history in this town, which is not all good. However, my history is not all bad.

In my youth, I was Continue reading →

I ever tell you about my friend Abbie?

I met Abbey when I was about three years-old. This was when my family lived in Forest Hills, New York. We lived in a duplex apartment at 66^th Road behind the Hollywood Bowl on Queens Boulevard. I was too young to remember much about the apartment. I remember brown, shag carpeting, which was in the upstairs corridor. I remember the blue walls in my bedroom, which was marked with crayons Continue reading →

This morning, I woke to the usual peaceful sound of my community. Since I always wake early, the sounds of my street consist of birds chirping and wind sweeping through the trees.
This morning’s wind appears to be gentle. I like the sound it makes. I like the way birds announce the sunrise, as if to prove they know when the sun is on its way and that today arrives with a new promise.

My home is also quiet. The only noise I hear comes from Continue reading →

I was reminded of a quote from Mark Twain this morning.
“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”

I watched some of my brightest heroes give in to gravity
and trade their bravery for a glimpse of something easy.
In the end, I was never sure who was hurt most by their downfall —
me or them? 

I do not claim to be so wholesome
that I cannot understand man’s thirst for greed
or his hunger for lust.
I am neither innocent nor pure.
I am like anyone who has blushed in their life —
or needed to . . . Continue reading →

I came to the realization that my ideas of perfection were absolutely imperfect.
This realization took years to reach. It took fallen relationships, and lost opportunities.
I found that throughout the course of my travels, my ideas of perfection were as imperfect as my flaws. What that means is I measured my ideas of perfection on the wrong scale. I had no idea that perfection, itself, was not flawless at all. Instead, perfection is the ability to be flawed, but yet, remain and continue.

I thought perfection was a combination of Continue reading →

Before I move forward, I should explain where I am right now and, while families gather and sit at a table for this holiday, I am sitting in an equipment room at work with the worst kind of filth on my hands. My face is stained from a black murky water that has been lying stagnant in an old steam pipe since the 1970’s. My uniform is stained with black spots and though I have cleaned my eyeglasses several times, I still cannot see anything but the streaks of dirty water that will not seem to wash off.

While other families meet and honor Continue reading →

The Path

Unfortunately, part of the path I chose comes with the understanding that not everyone will choose the same way. In the beginning, it seemed as if we all started strong. We had a purpose to achieve something. But the further we went from yesterday, the easier it was to forget who we were and where we came from. This is why the tell us to, “Keep it green.” keep it fresh.
The further we moved along the path, perhaps the memories became distant, and the more distant the memories became, the easier it was to forget what we went through, and after we forget where we came from, the easier it is to give in to temptation and slip right back to where it all began.

I admit that I was not ready. In my early stages, I was sent Continue reading →

I have to remember something:
My words are like a line in the sand. Once I cross the line—then I’ve crossed the line, and coming back is not always easy.
I have to remember that words said out of anger have sharp teeth. And sharp teeth hurt. They leave bite marks and the marks remain even after the anger subsides.

I need to remember this . . .

Back when I was a kid, I remember Continue reading →

Time is always the same. A second will always be a second. A minute will always be a minute, and hours will always be hours. The speed of time is never any different; it is simply ongoing and inevitable, moving forward in measures of seconds, minutes, hours, and days.
To us the time it takes to round the clock is relative. To us, time is subject to emotion. A minute of laughter is quick.  However, one minute of pain can drag on for what seems like hours.
The truth is time has no regard for our emotion. Time never sleeps. There is no way to pause, stop, or rewind. There is no way to fast forward or ease time back to a slower motion.
Time, itself, is an ongoing machine. It is more Continue reading →