I needed to find someplace far away but yet, I couldn’t go too far away, because of course I would have to go back and get more. I was driving on a parkway towards the place I called home at the time. I was young, wiry, and strung out from a series of wrong choices that began long before the actual actions of my mistakes.
In my rearview, I could see the city lights flashing against the underbelly of the late night sky. The previous hours of course, were long and gruesome; only, I was too lost in my own psychosis to notice how long I had been on the dangle. I was like a shark with blood in the water. I was blind, voracious, and hungry, coming into the terrible downside of my cocaine high. Eventually, it was morning. It was just about sunrise and the sun was on its way toward the center stage. The sky was clear but the air was cold because spring has only begun and winter had yet to release its grip.

Somewhere Continue reading →

It was the end of March in 1991. I was driving around in a minivan filled with stolen equipment, stolen rifles, a shotgun, car radios, some home entertainment pieces that are outdated now, and a nickel plated .357 underneath the driver’s seat. The end result of this is not surprising. Then again, I wasn’t thinking about the end result.
The night began with me climbing in through the back window of an outdated house with old furniture and Continue reading →

It was a few days after my arrest when the reality set in. I was in my childhood bedroom with the doors closed. I knew something was going to happen. It was obvious that my arrest would come with consequences and it was clear to me that rehabilitation was the only option that would keep me from jail.
Besides, jail would have destroyed me. I was too thin, too weak, and if Continue reading →

I was telling you about the way I felt.
Remember?
I swear it was like walking in quicksand. Whatever I tried to do and whichever way I tried to feel better, things always seemed to be worse. I mean, I wanted to be better. I wanted life to be easier. But it seemed like i could never catch a break.
I told you about this before.
Remember?

If life was a cycle and what goes around truly comes around, I swore that my position here was meant to be here the underbelly. And if this were true, since I was in the underbelly of life’s cycle, that meant this was as best as it would ever be. In my eyes, I was cursed, and since this was my position and since what goes around comes around; anything Continue reading →

I swore it felt like my life was the same as listening to someone reading in a classroom. I felt like my life was information being read to me and I would try to keep up and read along. I felt like a kid in the wrong class and everyone took turns reading the next paragraph. But the anticipation of my turn always made me uncomfortable. I would be so nervous that I had to count the number of heads of who would read before me, and along the way, I would Continue reading →

It was a quiet night during the coldest part of winter. The sky was clear and the freezing wind was sharp against the skin. Billy walked through a series of familiar side streets and entered the side gate of a white-picket fence next to the detached garage at Mike’s house. It was way passed the midnight hour and the star-filled sky was accompanied with a full moon that shone down on this side of small suburbia.

Billy was Continue reading →

It strange now, to be on this side of the doors, I mean. It’s strange to hear the echoes of people speaking in corridors of a treatment center, which at one point; I was one of those voices a long time ago. It’s strange to be involved with the legal system on this side of the table and to be almost like a man in-between, almost like a translator if this makes any sense.
Not even one year into this new Continue reading →

The day nearly passed and little did I know this would be my last time in any sort of public school system. I sat there wide-eyed and bloodshot with my pupils enlarged like black holes. I was red-faced and high with a detached smile. I recall listening to the bizarre sounds of a self-induced schizophrenia. It had been a few hours since I placed a few tabs in my mouth. This was Blotter, otherwise known as Continue reading →

1)

There is a beautiful nature and meaning behind the words, “True friends.” No matter how far back the paths go, no matter how far apart we are, no matter how long ago we spoke and no matter what concept or direction in life we choose; there are no friends like old friends.

Billy was an old Continue reading →