It is gone now
then again
what is gone if nothing has gone so far
or been removed?

What is?
What was?
What happened that was so bad
or harsh that woke us up . . .
or what took place
that took us from there to here.

Safe to say
that I have earned my place.
I have earned my spot here
or where I am.

And maybe it’s safe to say
I’ve earned my reputation,
because like it or not,
I have seen how outside interpretations
did not seem to match my intention
which means the rest of the world
is beyond me
and the same thing goes
with what other people think.

Safe to say . . .

And so?
What do we do with this?
Where do we go from here?
and, oh, I see . . .

Now that my world has changed,
I suppose it is up to me
to change as well,
or at minimum,
I suppose I will have to act accordingly
and though it’s me who seems confused
it is me who needs to move
and head beyond where I am now,
as in up and above.

I have been told
that life does not wait for me
or you
nor does time wait for anyone.
Nothing stops, everything moves
even when we are still,
we are still moving
in one form or another.

I know.

When I started . . . 

I began to wonder about the sound of thunder
or I found myself lost in the curiosity
of how long it would take for the storm to arrive.

 When I began to learn,
 I swore that perhaps I had forgotten
 what it means to feel, or if I dared to feel,
I suppose I forgot the last time
or when it was,
the last time I felt loved
or believed, as in
lovingly.

I am . . .

I am someone who sees
or at least
I think I do.

I am someone who knows,
or as life has proven to me,
repeatedly, and more than once
I don’t know half as much
as I thought,
or at least, so I think.

Maybe I think too much,
for my own sake.
Or maybe,
should I say
maybe I think too much
for my own sanity?

What is it now?
What’s next?
What do I do?

All three are great questions.
But –
All three questions have often had
one common answer.
And that answer is this:
I don’t know.