I suppose my wish for you is the same wish that I have for myself.
This is more than anything to me.
At the same time, this is more than anything I have ever experienced before.
Sure, I am new to this. I am new to you.
I am new to the world on a daily basis.
But this is more and this is far braver of an attempt that I have ever made before.

Let me speak with you now.
Let us talk, just the two of us. Okay?
Let’s cancel out the noise and all the interruptions that take place.
This is more than a request to stop, drop, and let go.
No, I think this entry will go beyond this,
at least I hope so.

There’s more to life than what we assume. And I know this.
I know this deep down to my heart. I know this at my core, and I know that life is so much more than what happens or what happens to us.
I also know that life is not about what happens to us.
To me, life is a series of events and stories, memories, and a compilation of impactful moments that shaped our thinking.
I am no more harmed or wounded than you.
To think that I am is false or worse, self-centered.

There will be great things. And there will be great things to see. There will be real people and not-so-great people and people who come and leave an impression, or marks, or scars.
I see this as true as the sunrise. I see this as true as the sunset and as true it is when the moon is full, or the water is wet.
Life is life. I am me. You are you.
And the world around us is the world around us.

What has to happen?
This is a great question.

What has to happen for us to be happy? What has to come first?
Do we need to see the world from a different perspective? Do we need to see another catastrophe before we decided to make ourselves a priority?
Or do we need something to start a flame, a fire, or at least a spark that starts the engines in our heart?
What has to happen for us to be happy?

I love these questions. I love the way they make me feel.
I love how they make me think about the contrast between the before and after.
That was before. This is what happened after.
I like this. I like this a lot.

I am getting better now.
Perhaps this is because time has made a change in my heart.
Or maybe time has shown me something about myself, which I have finally dared to improve.
Or maybe this is because of the way I feel now.
Either way –
Ready or not, here I come.

I realize that the more I go forward, the more I expose, and the more I expose, the more I realize that I have much more to say. At the same time, there is no one else to speak with. There is no authority.
At least, there is no one but us.
Thankfully.

The idea which says, “take me. I’m yours” is one that comes with different responsibilities.
I know this now.
Perhaps, I know this now more than ever before.
Perhaps, this is due to my experience or the feelings I’ve had, or maybe this is a result of all that I have lost. But either way, I am here with you.
Yes, there is a reason for this.
There is a time for everything that exists between passion and pain. But either way, nevertheless, I am here just the same.

None of this is accidental, at least not to me.
I do believe in the lessons and the intentions of fate.
I believe in destiny and, with all of my heart, I believe in this and in every word that I send to you — and I say this to you with all of my heart.

This one is not written for anyone else.
No, I suppose like anything else, this one is selfish and yes, this one is for me.
At the same time, this is all about you.

My love . . .

I am better now.
I fell before. And it was hard to get up.
I saw the world around me and looked at everyone with envy.
Sometimes, I looked around and saw people with contempt or disgust.

I questioned everything. I questioned myself.
I overthought and overanalyzed.
I picked apart the pieces of my so-called life.
I fell down. I cursed the sky.
I thought that this was me.
“Is it just me?”
If so . . .
Why?

I don’t know what beauty looks like to someone else.
And I don’t know what the word beautiful means to you.
I don’t know what you see or as I have said before, I have no idea what the color red looks like through your eyes.

I know that we are all taught about color or what color looks like. We have all been taught about the colors of the rainbow, as in red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet.
I remember when this was broken down to an acronym in grade school.
We were told to see the colors of the rainbow as our friendly person in the sky named, Roy G Biv.
Remember?

I suppose I should compose myself and start here with a thought that was intended for you. Then again, this is for you and only you.
I believe everything I write is for you and for me as well.
There is no one else in the world.
No one . . .

You know this, right?
Who else is there?
I see no one else, except for the distractions called, people, places and things.
Of course, there is always the past, which gets in the way of our future sometimes.
But that can be a thing of the past.
if we allow it to be.

Before I go forward, I offer this as a disclaimer.
The following statements are true. They are not all that defines me. However, in the case of stopping or when it comes to dropping the unwanted features of my life, and in my plea to let them go, I have to be clear.
I have to be honest. I have to be thorough and unwavering to the point where my honesty might seem brutal. In the same breath, I exhale with all I that have. I breathe in again and then I exhale once more and continue because if this is what it takes, then this is what it takes.
As for the next part, well?
So be it –