Snow is falling in New York City. The world looks different to me this way. Soft and slow. Peaceful. And I like it like this.
Soft and slow. Peaceful too. And that’s exactly what this is about.
Peace.

I think it is important to be honest. In fact, I say this with all sincerity that we need to come to a constructive conclusion at the end of each day, which means we have to acknowledge our faults and flaws as well as our victories and successes.
As I see it –
We are closer now than ever before. And we have to believe this is true because at this point, we are beyond the halfway mark, at least I think so.
Then again, I suppose this is all relative. Perhaps this all according to our perspective which means this could be the beginning for you and I.
Who am I to take that away?
And I like that too –
I really do.

My last entry mentioned the difference between the skin I want and the skin I’m in, which is not to say that there is a discrepancy between the two. No.
I can say that like most people, I am an eventual and inevitable. I am a work in progress, much like the rest of us are.
I am improving on a daily basis. While I find myself in the face of a new beginning and overcoming new obstacles, I am still here and still making my rounds and waking up, each day, one morning at a time.
I can say that I’m growing. We all are.
But . . .

It would seem there are times when people are split in two halves.
This is a mix or should I say this is life when split in two parts.
Say for example, the skin I want. The skin I’m in.
Or otherwise, the life I want. The life I live.
The life I have. The life I need.
This is a split.
People are torn between the life they have and the life they hope for.
I do not envy the ones who stay caught in the middle.

Life has its moments. This is for sure.
We all know what stress feels like, We all know what it’s like to have anxiety or to have that moment when something happens, quick, hurry! And we almost crash or fall or there’s almost an accident and our body is at a heightened state of alert.
We can’t live this way. We can’t run at full speed all the time. Whether we like it or not, we have to find a way to pump the brakes. Otherwise, the risk of a personal burnout is severe.

Safe to say that yes. I am a lucky man. It’s also safe to say that I am a blessed man. I’m fortunate to be where I am today. At the same time, I think it is safe to say that luck is often a self-made thing.
Of course, there are people who were born into a more fortunate gene pool whose genetics are more pronounced for a better or more beautiful physique.
Let’s not forget those who were born into financial comfort or the kids who come from the billionaire’s gene pool.

Once more, I begin this with a question.
And this is not a new question. At least I should say this question is not a new question to me. At the same time, I ask this nonetheless.
Is it possible to find peace in a state of unrest?
Is it possible to find clarity in moments of personal blindness?
In the same regard, is it possible to find peace within oneself when there is no peace nor anything around us that resembles the sort?

Do you have fear?
I do.
I know all about fear.
And this is as honest as it gets. I am afraid to be revealed or exposed.
I have fears of being humiliated. I have a huge fear of being alone, unloved or unwanted.
These are real fears to me. 

I have come back to the reason why I started writing in the first place.
This was to find peace. I wanted to know if peace was real and I also wanted to know If happiness was real. Is life real? Is love?
Is it?

It is important to say this.
We have to find a way to make it through . . .
I offer this because not everyone is having the time of their life right now.
I say this, too, because there will be bouts and times and moments with no peace.
No justice or warmth for the hands.

It is safe to say that while we find ourselves amidst the worst of times, it is too hard to see the skyline or find the heavens or, at minimum, there are times in life when it’s hard enough to breathe let alone take a minute to walk away or just regroup.
But we have to.