I am starting over and beginning a new chapter. This is where I learn to refine my trick and work on my craft.
Change is not comfortable to me. Then again, becoming better is not always a comfortable process. I suppose growth is not an easy thing. Perhaps, this is why people refuse to dare and remain stagnant.
But I don’t want to be stagnant.
I don’t even like the word. It means not flowing.
It means foul from standing, like a puddle of stale water.
It also means lack of development, or achievement. Stagnant means to be dull or lifeless; it means sitting back and watching everything pass.
It means there is no action or challenge.
I see this as emptiness, and all that’s follows are stories of someone else’s achievement.
I walked into a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu school and watched the students practice. I watched as the beginners struggled, but they stuck with the instruction and learned how to perform the move.
I noticed a young man attending his first class. He looked extremely sure of himself. Maybe he was local brawler and he was known for a few fights.
His body appeared built, so the young man was no stranger to exercise. I watched as he walked in, proud, and ready to roll with anyone in the class.
The room, of course, was very warm. Bodies rolled, men trained, and this created enough heat to make the windows sweat.
The young man pushed as hard and as fast as he could. But he couldn’t last, so he ran outside to vomit.
Afterwards, the young man went back inside. He changed his clothes, retrieved his gym bag, and then he left.
One of the instructors laughed. He said, “See that guy? That guy will never come back here again,” and I suppose he never did.
The instructor pointed at another student. “You see that guy?”
He pointed at a man with a shaved head. The student had a goatee and his body appeared to be completely suited with Asian tattoos.
“When that guy started he was overweight. “
The instructor said, “No one thought he would stick it out….but look at him now. He never quit. He’s in phenomenal shape, and he looks like a badass!”
I assume the student went through changes. His body ached. His diet had to change, which alone, is not an easy task.
I assume he went through the basic frustrations of not being able to perform as he wanted to. I figure he struggled to execute the moves, and I assume the beginning was toughest for him.
The term growing pains is not an accident. The process of growth is not easy, but in order for me to grow; I have to commit to the changes.
I have to be willing to endure the process as well as enjoy it. Otherwise, I’ll be like the young man that ran out on his first class in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
I’ll be lifeless and stagnant
….I think I deserve better than that