about now

After a long weekend shift, I washed my hands from the dust and dirt. I splashed water across my face, and after losing the best hours of sunlight, I changed from my work clothes and locked the shop’s door behind me. At least for that moment, I was happily uninvolved with my job. For that moment, I turned the key to lock the top lock of the engineer’s locker-room, and after I placed my hand beneath the scanner to prove my work hours, I left the day behind and drove home.
I drove through the city streets, waiting on pedestrians that cross the street regardless to oncoming traffic. Then I ducked beneath the Midtown Tunnel and came out on the other side.
The day was beautiful—however, I spent most of it with various contractors, running from one part of an office building to another.
But finally…springtime arrived.
The warm winds allowed us a glimpse of what to expect. In no time at all, the summer will be here and our side of the hemisphere will enjoy the chance to dress less and show more skin.
I like that

I find myself at the birth of another chapter. There are new things coming on the horizon, and as it is with any change, I have my usual fears of what to expect with the unknown. I thought of these things as I grew closer to the place I call home and farther from the place where I call work.

The problem with my thought process is it is usually too many steps ahead of the outcome. I project, and while trying to prepare myself, I tend to over-think my next step instead of enjoying the stillness of an irretrievable moment.
(Like the sunset)

After I finish my day at work, and after I punch my time-clock, I am no longer an engineer. I change into a man with a family. I become a husband and a dad, which means I am responsible for two lives that depend on me. It is my job to walk through the front door of my home and leave my day behind me.
Another part of my job as a husband and father is to put food on the table.
This is something I do very well….

Standing outside of my favorite, but less-known Mexican restaurant, I waited for my take-out order and watched the sunset grace the quiet side of Post Avenue.
I watched couples walk pass, happily dressed for the warmer season.
I watched them walk by, holding hands, and I thought about this new chapter that comes my way….

I thought to myself:
I have no idea what tomorrow is going to be like. And I won’t know until tomorrow becomes today.
But for now—let me enjoy this.
Let me enjoy the meal I bring home to my family and let tomorrow worry about itself.
Let me stop over-thinking and analyzing situations that have yet to happen or become an issue.
Let me enjoy this moment—because there might not be another one like it.

Yesterday, I took a nature walk with my brother-in-law, along with his three boys and my daughter. We built a bridge over muddied water so the kids could cross, and one by one, I handed them off to my brother-in-law so they would not fall or get  muddied and wet.
The bridge, by the way,  was made up of an old table, which was left in the woods, a log, and an old fuel tank from a truck (also found in the woods)

Together, we had a time….
We didn’t think about what Monday had in store for us.
We didn’t worry about work, bills, or the next chapter which involves us both.

No….we thought about the meal we just had and how it was good to feel fat.
We enjoyed our kids playing together and we enjoyed our family.
Had I been focused on tomorrow, or what comes next, I would have never been able to enjoy the moment, which is now.

I have no business thinking too much about tomorrow, unless of course, it involves another nature walk, which is fine with me.
Only next time, I think I’ll wear different shoes.

……I don’t think muddied grounds and loafers are a good match