I look around us and I see the path we’re on. I look around at our society. I see the people that we work with and live with and the faces we pass on a daily basis. I see the good and the bad, the tough and the easy. I see life and death and all that meet in-between. I look around at the basic and daily complications we all face.
Continue readingMonthly Archives: August 2019
Just A Memory
There was a walk I took through Central Park once. I was alone. I was all by myself with nothing else to do. There was no place else to go and no one else to see. I think they call this “Me” time.
I was at the tail end of a bad job with a suit and tie type of lifestyle. Or, more accurately, I was just a kid in a suit.
I was selling woven labels and identification items to garment manufacturers at a place over on 33rd St.
This was literally one of the worst and most uninteresting jobs that I ever had. I was young and trying my best to impersonate a grown-up. I had a job though. I had the briefcase. I wore a suit and read the newspaper on the train. I drank coffee from a Styrofoam cup with the little plastic lid, flipped upwards.
I tried my best to fit in. I did my best to dress well and play the part of a young, hotshot salesman. I tried but deep down, I knew this was not for me.
Something That Happened In Group
We had a conversation in one of my empowerment classes about the things that hold us back and keep us from moving forward.
We talked about our thinking process and how they say, “Alcoholism and addiction is a disease of our thinking.”
Keep in mind, the main focus in this group is to create goals, plans, and strategies to create a clean and sober lifestyle.
We discussed the word “Relapse” and what brings people back to where they left off. It is argued by me that the reason is not because a lack of knowledge or understanding of our actions; however, there seems to be a disconnect in the application process.
Moving On . . .
This one is personal to me.
I suppose they all are personal but this one has an exception, which I hope the reason becomes clear to you.
The truth is no one ever wants to “Feel” or “Be” alone.
Nobody does.
Depression and fear are very real things to me. I had to learn from them. I had to learn how to interact and live instead of struggle or suffer. Above all, I had to learn how to move on.
From In The Classroom: How We Limit The Mind
There is an entire world out there that exists far beyond our fear and feelings of any kind. There is a world out there that is beyond opinion and beyond personal theories. People live in this world. Life happens here, every day, all day long. This is a world beyond our assumptions or bias and persecutions.
Continue readingSaying S.T.O.P. to Anxiety
One of the biggest triggers of anxiety is the internal voice. This is the internal narrative that discusses the past and the expected futures. This is the internal criticism, which we all have, and let’s face it; everybody claims to be their own worst critic.
Perhaps this is true.
The Seas
There was a little old boat in the rear, left corner of my backyard. The boat was aluminum, small with two bench seats across the beam, and while my memory of this is equally as small, I remember tiny glimpses of the little old boat.
I remember me, sitting in the boat with a life preserver that was perhaps bigger than my entire body. This is my first memory of her. We were fishing someplace near City Island.
I somehow caught a little starfish, if I’m not mistaken. This was before we moved out to The Island and away from my birthplace in Queens.
Being A Self-Starter
Where does anything begin?
Where do we start? You, me, and the rest of the world, we all start from somewhere, which is obvious to all of us, but when it comes to personal and transformational change, the question remains.
Where do we begin?
Old Pieces Of Thought
1)
Then one morning . . .
You wake up and there’s just nothing
You have nothing and this has nothing to do with a place to live or money.
Continue readingThe Ingredients Of My Craft
I look at where I was in the beginning and I come to the same sentiment as I did back then. In whichever way possible and by any means necessary, I made a commitment to myself to create and recreate me on a daily basis for the rest of my life.
I have to want to improve in order for me to be better. I have to see where I am in an honest perspective.
There are times when even the strongest denial cannot blind the eyes to the obvious. In my case, I knew there was a need for change.
But how?
Is it really possible for someone to change?
The Written Addiction 