I am awaiting a storm and the sky looks angry as ever. The heavens are layered with a cloak of heavy gray clouds; the air is so humid that the heat is mad and only to grow madder. Meanwhile, all we can do is wait for the rain to come. But I don’t mind. I don’t mid storms the way other people do. I don’t even mind the temporary interruptions of service and I laugh about people’s last minute dash to the grocery store. They run crazy; as if the world is about to end but goddamnit; at least there’ll be toilet paper in the bathroom and butter and milk in the fridge. Otherwise, all there is to do is remain hopeful the storm will pass without too much of a hassle. But I’m not hassled.
Continue readingMonthly Archives: August 2021
Take a Trip with Me
If asked then I’d have to be honest about myself. And, It’s true. I find myself getting frustrated. I find myself angry over nonsense. I’ve been known to curse at the television before. I’ve certainly been known to curse while I’m stuck in traffic or while some random car drives in front of me, to cut me off, only to go slower—and I swear this must be personal. I curse and complain, and on some occasions, I’ve been known to have entire arguments with people; meanwhile, I’m in a room, all by myself.
I’ve yelled at the sky a few times. As a matter of fact, I yelled at my leaf-blower and my lawnmower and my neighbor who was nowhere near me for most of the afternoon. If I’m being honest, I am as real as they come. I see myself as a person who is like anyone else.
Ways to Change
After you lose weight, there’s always someone who comes up to ask, “How’d you do it?” and to be honest, there’s always someone out there with an opinion about this. There’s always someone out there with a better way, which for them, maybe theirs was the only way. And I don’t doubt that it was. I don’t doubt the different pathways to recovery.
However, I have noticed that in the midst of any transformational changes, there is always someone out there with an idea or an opinion. There is always someone with some kind of advice—and that’s fine, but wait . . .
why must there only be one way?
A Note From The Breeding Grounds
I would like to preface this by explaining that my ideas are nothing more than a series of honest thoughts. I am not putting anyone down, including myself, nor am I coming from a place or resentment or hostility. Instead, I am simply pointing out an observation. This is something I see. And I’m open to the ideas of different perceptions. However, in my search to find personal understanding, I found that honest assessments and observations are helpful if for no other reason than to teach me how not to be. But nevertheless, here I go . . .
Continue readingIt’s Okay to Tell on Yourself
It’s okay to tell on yourself. It’s okay to make the choice to switch or change directions. In fact, at any given moment, you can change your mind. You can improve. You can choose to refrain or choose to advance. At any point; the choice is yours. By the way, I say this for a reason.
There are places I would like to be, like somewhere off the coast of Italy or maybe Fiji. I think I’d like Fiji or wait, maybe there’s a place I’d like to be off the Gulf of Mexico. That would be nice too. There are places from my past that I would like to see again, such as a little town right outside of El Paso. The air was dry and the sky was blue. The desert was like something out of a picture book. Time moved slow. My Mother was there, my Father was there and my brother too.
Continue readingSo, You Want to Talk About Safety
I have been following this idea of physiological safety. I have been listening to different speakers and learning as well as unlearning and exchanging my ideas. I have decided to do this to build a better environment for myself. And what does that mean? What is psychological safety?
It’s a climate. It’s a mindset. It’s the allowance for a safe dialogue between us to help us with our interpersonal fears and create a sense of competency between one another. More closely, this is the ability to communicate freely without the fears of backlash, punishment or pushback.
A Little From the Abstract: MY Quest
I began a search. This started a long time ago when I was very small. I was young but I grew along the way. Then again, anything which happened before now is something that happened when I was younger. Either way, I learned and I matured. I started this life in my tiny vessel called a body. And this too has grown and I too have matured. Along the way, I found things. I’ve collected ideas and memories.
Along the way, I’ve looked around to incorporate the flashy substances in life. I looked for things that sets us apart or allows us to glow for one another — or beam, like an unmistakable light or beacon that allows us to stand out and be beautiful. I have learned about light and the absence of life. I have learned about the fears of the dark and the absence of understanding, which in turn is what leads us to the age old question; are we afraid of the dark or the unknown of what’s in it?
Continue readingSo, They Say This is Fate (in 909 words)
The fact is it’s easy to go crazy. If you think about it, we’ve been going crazy for years and yet, where have we gone? I can say this wholeheartedly. I can say that I have run and hid and I’ve jumped and I’ve dodged my share of landmines. I can say that I’ve hit a few landmines as well. I’ve hit roadblocks. I’ve encountered obstacles that I had to overcome.
At the same time, I’ve encountered problems that became opportunities in which case, had I never been tested; I might not have known what I was capable of. But still, it’s easy to go crazy.
From Note From The Heart: This is for You
Somewhere within us all is a reservoir. This is an untapped resource and we search for this. We look to find this source of energy in other people, places or things. We look to each other; as if someone else can give us this wellspring and somehow quench our thirst or fix the broken features of our lives. And the truth is we all want to be whole. We want to be satisfied. We want to be good and more than anything, we want to be justified in the eyes of the world and of ourselves.
Continue readingToday’s Determination for Motivation
There was a hike that took place on the side of a mountain a few years back. I was away from most of the world. The trail was in the woods and the air was hot. The sun was in its early stages and the sunlight was filtering through the leaves in the tall trees. My backpack was packed too heavy. My body was out of shape to say the least. All I kept thinking was “How much farther do we have to go?” on a walk that seemed endlessly uphill.
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The Written Addiction 