You find yourself at an impasse. You’re at a cross road and you’re not sure which way to go. You know that something needs to change. But what?
The beginning of a personal life change is always hard. You’re new to your routine. All of the changes around you are uncomfortable. Your old comforts, habits and assumptions are not there to serve you anymore. It’s all new and suddenly we realize that we are the routine that we set for ourselves. This is us, each day, morning, noon and night.
We become our thoughts and our feelings; even if either of them are inaccurate or false, we become the product of our thinking.
Monthly Archives: February 2022
My Rock-A-Bye
The purpose of this message is to connect a thought to an idea. This is to link a picture to a time in which, I swear, I have never seen a moon quite like this one. We were out in the ocean, approximately 110 nautical miles south of the Jones Beach inlet.
We tied up at a place called The Dip for an overnight tuna trip. The water was deep. There was a little action before we hit the spot and one yellowfin was brought on board. The fish was a decent size, but of course, we were looking for bigger fish.
This is not a fishing story per se but more, this is about a dream. This is about an idea and a picture that I keep close to my heart. This is about a connection, a bond and a promise.
Continue readingWell, What Are You Waiting For?
I enter this as a person who works for a living and humbly, I offer my thoughts as a person who understands that choices matter. It is clear to me that the value of our choices are more important that we assume. However, youth is not always patient or understanding. We think; therefore, everything we think must be true, even if it is not true.
I offer this as a page from my old playbook in which I recognize life is more than a game of chance and everything we do is up to chance, which sometimes we take and other times we settle or give in. But more, I write this as proof to myself; to give myself a true vision of the life I lived and the doorway which is where I find myself now.
I write this without direction and in streams of consciousness, which means I am not monitoring or judging my words. I am only offering them.
If you’ll have them, that is.
Do You Want To Know? (In 909 Words)
What do I want?
I want the simple things. I want to run but not away. I want to grow my hair out without being judged. I want to go on a trip and be happy to come home. Does this make sense to you?
I want to be comfortable with my own company or walk away without the idea of being alone.
Do you want to know what do I want?
I want the perfect sense of homeostasis. I want balance. I want to reach my best level of awareness so that I can achieve my best level of understanding. This way, I am not hinged upon my outside sources but more, I am fine with what I have. I am balanced. I am at peace. I am at one with myself and with those who are around me. While nearly all of the world is beyond my control, I am at a place where my level of understanding does not allow me to personalize anything that does not belong to me.
I Have an Idea
I don’t know. When was the last time I walked through Central Park? Or, when was the last time I walked through The Museum of Natural History? Or better yet, when was the last time I went to The Hayden Planetarium? It seems like it’s been forever. I think I have a plan. This involves an escape and a childish need to skip class and beat the responsibilities of everyday life.
Then again, I was never much for school and then again, I was never much for planning trips on the days when I would skip. Perhaps my intentions and motivations were different. Or, maybe it’s safer to say that my bank account is different now and so are my means of transportation.
I think now would be different though. In fact, I think if I were to plan a day to skip town or play hooky and “Cut class,” so to speak, I can think of a few ideas that come to mind.
About Bullies
Sure, I was bullied. The worst of it was more than the bullying itself. The worst part of bullying are the remnants of what was said or done. The aftermath was the killer for me. I had to live with the shame, the guilt and the regret that I was unable to protect myself. The worst are the conversations we have in our head after the event takes place. This is what makes matters worse because next, we relive the insults and keep them fresh like a picked scab that never heals.
And dig it, I know that no one wants to talk about this. I see this all the time. Nobody wants to hear about this, which is why bullying goes on. But “Ah, they’re just kids being kids,” right?
Wrong. This is only their training grounds because I have met more bullies in Corporate America than on the playground or in the locker room at school.
A Note
Dear Parents:
This note that I send you is something that comes from both, my experience as a son and as a dad. This comes from a person who has seen both sides of the good and bad. Not unlike anyone else, this note comes from a person who understands mistakes, misgivings, apprehensions, anger and frustration. I am no guru or professional but more so, I am humble and real.
Continue readingA Ramble, a Plan and a Thought
I remember a scene in a movie. The movie is from when I was a kid and the story itself is not important enough to mention. Plus, a little piece of me is shaking my head because of a silly movie, which I remember all too well.
In any case, people had to pass through the gates to meet the Southern Oracle. My memory of this is a little hazy but one of the gates was a mirror that reflected your true self. Most people faced this gate and ran away screaming from what they saw. Maybe this part of the movie was more real than I thought.
Mirrors do have a way of reflecting things that we’d rather not see.
The Written Addiction 