Notes from the Neighborhood – In Short, There’s This

I can’t believe that time flies like it does.
At the same time, maybe it’s good that time moves fast. Maybe this will bring us closer to something bigger or more promising, like say – a smile over something simple.

The question is what now?
I can say that while I am here to face my own recreation of self, I have to understand that this has to come from within, which means this has to start from within. While I have come here to find myself, I have found other articles in my life that are changing and transforming.

And this is not on me or on you, per se.
However, I am here . . .

Right now . . .
I am about to springboard from this point onwards. However, the task in question is how do we recreate something so valuable yet half of its value has either changed or gone away?

How do we rebuild ourselves without the regard for our exterior relationships or the surrounding environment?
How do we deal with the lonely ideas that come? Honestly, it’s okay to say these things. it’s okay to be truthful. It’s okay that that I’m here. It really is.
I can learn from this
(so I can move ahead).
Another question that comes to mind is how can we restructure our days when our days have been either entangled or intertwined with something (or someone) else for so long?

I go back to basics –

I am stripping my bed today. I am cleaning the house. I’m going to wipe down my kitchen after yesterday’s stew, which came out better than expected, even if I do say so myself.
I am not looking to surf the internet or scroll through mindless posts on social media. I have no interest in straying away from my path, which I have committed to regardless of what may come.

I have no regrets. I have no doubts about who I am or how I think and feel.
I know where my head is and yes, I know where my heart is.
However, in the span of my personal reconstruction, I admit to the challenges and the worries that come with fears that life might be this way “forever” and that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.
But the truth is, I am not in a tunnel.
Forever is a really long time.
No. Instead, I think I’ll address the day like this:
I am a man in love and a man who is in love with love yet, I am alone and going through a personal rebuild. And that’s fine.

I have created a new routine for myself which is about to change again.
But this is life and as always, life is often far beyond our control.

I have no hate in my heart nor is there time or room to entertain hate or live hatefully towards anyone else in this world. Besides, I know exactly what hate does. Hate and I have a long-standing relationship which dates back to my earlier years. If I think about the details that come with hate, I can see how the wreckage of my past has overlapped into what I wanted to see for my future.

I think today is a good day to keep busy.
I have the rest of the apartment to organize, which is crazy to think about this but yes, I’ve been here for one month.
A lot happens in one month.
A lot can be lost and a lot can be found. Should I look to gain even more or should I look to at least find myself, then I have to understand that this has to start from within.
Nothing has to end or be over, so-to-speak.
However, I can learn to begin again and although my old self is shedding skin, my new self can take the past as a lesson.
I can learn from this.
I can grow from this.
I can be more for myself which, in truth, this will allow me to be more in the sense that when the connection is made and when two become one; I can be the person I’ve always wanted to be. And nothing can stop me.

The last two months have been interesting to say the least. I have gone back and forth and lived with the ups and downs of my new life.
But for now, I have a roof above my head and the sky is less than sunny.
I have some music to play. I have some things I need to get rid of and a purpose which I need to learn how to reinvest myself with.

Today’s a late morning due to a sleepless night, which was restless to say the least.
However, in the efforts to “put this to rest” I have decided to wait patiently for my turn, in whichever form my turn will come. 

I never start my day this late and I never close this quickly either . . .
But hey, who’s watching?
Who’s keeping score?

Besides, it’s Sunday.
Why not make it a good one?

There’s no reason to do otherwise . . .
And that’s what I’m sticking to.