If That Were True: Introduction

Before anything goes onward from here, the answer is yes. I have to keep moving with this.
I have to keep my commitment to an idea I had, a long time ago. Yes, I have to keep writing.
You have been with me for a very long time now. Then again, in my eyes, you are always with me and you will always be with me, no matter what.
Since this is true to me, and since you have been with me from what seems like the beginning, then before opening this up to a new topic, I want to say thank you for coming this far with me.

My hope is that this trip is ongoing and unending which is why I keep to my commitment.
This is why I sit down to write, each morning. This is why I keep moving with these journals and as always, this is why I come to this little workshop in my head.
I come here to find you. I come here to find a sense of peace or balance.
I come here before I start my day because otherwise, I’d find myself in the middle of too many problems without any mental or emotional ammunition to defend myself.

I come here to open my blueprints and check my plans so that when the time comes to build my trick, I can pull this off without any hiccups or mistakes. 

This new journal is time and age appropriate.
Like anyone else in this world, I find that we constantly change and we are always evolving to some degree.
“Shit happens,” as they say.
I say life happens frequently.
I say life is a series of phases and stages. We learn and we grow. This never stops.
Not now, not ever.
Life is always changing and so are we.
So are the people around us, and so are the times, so are the landscapes, so is technology, and certainly, the generations or the new generations behind us are changing as well.  One day, I promise you that the generation of today will grow older and look back. They will look at the generation that comes after them and dammit all, I guarantee you they’ll shake their head like we do and complain about “the kids today.”

My previous journals have all come down to one main topic.
I always focus on the mind, our mental health, our understanding, and our ability to adapt, recover or to see things from a different perspective.

I focus on these things because the value of our mind is important. How we see things or relate to each other and how we interpret life or people, places and things, or how we coexist can determine the way we find our sense of peace and balance.

I am a real person, which is something that I say often. I am someone who has gone through my own ups and downs. I have cut off my nose to spite my face. And yes, I have done this on more than one occasion.
I have put my foot in my mouth, so-to-speak.
I have said or done things that were far from helpful, to which I expose this with one purpose in mind.
The purpose is to recognize that this is all part of an equation called being human.

We have hang ups. We all have something that we are recovering from. We all have battles of our own, secrets, sins, mistakes to deal with and by now, if you are a person alive in this world and unless you have been raised in a bubble, it is most likely true that you will experience or have experienced trauma in your life. 

Everyone has a battle of their own. Everyone has a scar (or two, or three) that no one else can see, except for them.
We all have something that either weighs us down or disturbs our peace which is why I have started this new journal.
This is the direction I plan to take with this journal.

I have written to you about happiness. I have written about loss, love, the changes we face on a daily occurrence and the remnants of our past history.
Of course, I have offered past or traumatic events from my own life.
I have done this to expose an honest truth. The truth is this is life. Another truth is that yes, we all go through life.

Perhaps we might not see things the same as one another.
We might not understand things at the same level or capacity.
We might have different opinions or interpretations and as for perception, I am a firm believer that perception can be deceptive.
Therefore, I firmly believe that the deception of our perception has been a key ingredient to the loss of our personal sanity.

Peace –
That’s what this is going to be about.
The dictionary defines peace as freedom from disturbance.
However, my aim is to find peace, regardless of the world around us. Let’s be very clear, we live in a time with disturbing news.

There are social, political, public and personal disturbances all around us. In fact, we see this every day. We see the worst because the worst is always newsworthy. Controversy is tasty to the masses and the media.
As for social media, we live in a world that is rated by the length of a friends list or a social media following.
We are all too technical and far too impersonal. However, in an effort to rise above any disturbance, whether personal, social, online or otherwise, there has to be a way to find peace.
There just has to be . . .
There has to be a way to find balance or a sense of internal calmness because otherwise, we will find ourselves in a constant state of unrest.
We have to find peace regardless of what takes place around us, regardless of the wars, the battles, and regardless of the social, personal or the professional bullies we encounter, and regardless of our lived experiences, our stories, our situations or “situational depressions,” there has to be a way to find peace with what “is.”

I was told that anyone can admit to something.
For example, I admitted that I was overweight.
I admitted that my diet was unhealthy.
I admitted that I needed to change my eating habits and, of course, I admitted that my physical health needed my attention.
That being said, nothing would have changed for me if I did not accept the responsibility for all of the above.
I had to accept that my eating habits and my nutrition needed to change.
I had to both understand, internalize, process, and execute the changes that needed to take place.
Otherwise, nothing would be different.
Admitting to something are only words. However, accepting the above lead me to a sense of internal understanding.
This is more than “just” admitting to something and saying, “I know that I need to change.”
To accept the above meant that I knew the above was unchangeable and that in order for me to change, I had to accept the tasks that needed to take place.

Otherwise, I’d still be well overweight, like I was, and diabetic too with high blood pressure, high cholesterol and sadly tired, out of shape and personally uncomfortable in my own skin.
To copy a phrase, I looked like Ben ate Ben.
That was true. I admitted to that.

I have admitted to my faults as a person. I have admitted to my mistakes as a man, a friend, lover, and in any other capacity, I have admitted to my wrongs and wrongdoings.
I have held myself accountable to my untrustworthy nature, which is as honest as I can be, which is daring, to say the least.
I have found myself in uncomfortable places and on different occasions, I have painted myself into a corner.
I have lived with heartache and heartbreak and whether my downfalls were self-induced because of a self-destructive mindset, or whether my hardships were due the result of a personal or an interpersonal war, I can say that I know what the absence of peace feels like to me.
Admitting to the above did nothing.
There were no changes made without acceptance and understanding.
Hence, without acceptance and understanding, there was no peace to support my best possible potential.
I don’t know what the lack of peace feels like to you or to anyone else.
However, as a means to identify my truths and to expose my heartfelt need to find peace in times of disturbance, I am starting this journal.
This is meant for me (and us) to find peace – even when things are far from peaceful or all-out disturbing. 

I am crediting the title of this to a friend who introduced me to a new way of thinking.
If that were true . . .
He used this line in his coaching techniques. I remember this.
He’d use this line when discussing people’s thoughts or their perception – and with an additional skill known as motivational interviewing, he would ask, “If that were true,” before following up with an open-ended, question to allow the person to come to their own realization or understanding.

For example, there are times when I swore that there was no such thing as peace.
I swore that I would never find peace nor would I ever be able to exceed or surpass my own limitations. Therefore, I would always be at war with others as well as myself.

Now, if that were true . . .
I’d still be the person I was back then.
If it were true that I did not have the ability or the skills to improve or survive, then how in the world did I ever come as far as I have?

If it were true that I was incapable or unable to go beyond my limitations or if it were true that I could never go above or beyond the expectations of me, then how have I been able to survive as long as I have?
This is not to say that my focus is on survival.
No, that’s not for this journal.
My focus will be inward.
My focus will be fact based, not interpretive or based on perception.
I plan to go with logic and strategy instead of an emotionally based mindset.
If peace is the opposite of chaos and chaos is the state of confusion or disorder and I have lived with and through both confusion and disorder and chaos alike, with my traumas and all, then this would only mean that I do have ability to recover and overcome.
This means that I do have talent and skills. If this is true, then this means that I have the ability to adapt and overcome.
If that is true, then this means that I have the ability to not only survive, but I can recover as well.
So then – if I learn to honor my survival skills and nurture my personal and interpersonal talents, then it would only be true to say that I can find balance and peace.
That means I can do this even when times are unbalanced or disturbing.
Or otherwise, unpeaceful . . .

Please understand that I am simply a prose writer.
This is not written as a coach or a mental health professional.
Instead –
I am a humble narrator of times and a view from a different perspective.
And so . . .
You’ve been with me this far,which means everything to me.
So please come with me a little further.
I think we can both agree that peace is a good thing to find –
This is especially so when peace is nowhere to be found.
If that were true, then what could we do to restore ourselves and find peace from within?

This is the subject of this journal.
Ready . . .
Set . . .
GO!