So, it does get  better.
You do know this, right?
Or is this just something that people tell us when we first walk through the doors?
Is this a way to get people to something new? Maybe . . .
Maybe that’s it.

Maybe the idea of telling people “it works if you work it” is more than proving the idea that “you’re worth it.”
Instead, maybe this is a way to say that in spite of the challenges or the discouragement, you have to keep moving.
You have to replace thought with an action which, if you think about it, that’s what this is – it’s a replacement model for a habit or lifestyle. So, don’t give up is what they tell you.
Or they’ll say, “don’t quit before the miracle happens,” to which you shake your head (and sometimes your fists) because it’s hard to see that the miracle is happening, right before your eyes.

I never had much of a college experience. Then again, my head was never much for schoolwork, which was fine at the time. 
It was never a thing for me. School, that is.
I never felt comfortable in the social caste systems. I never felt comfortable with the different variations of the crowd. I didn’t know where to fit in. I didn’t know where to sit in the cafeterias or who to sit next to because, in fairness, who you sit with and who you hung around had the ability to alter your social destinations.
To be clear, I defected from the social sandboxes and the cool-kid scenarios a long, long time ago.
I had to do this – if I wanted to be free.

There were times when I was sitting in an airport and waiting for a flight. I’m an early morning person. Either that, or some of my flights were late but regardless of the time, I have always been a fan of looking out of the big window which overlooks the planes. I can see them now in my mind, the airplanes docked at their different gates. I’ve always liked this.
I like to watch as the planes take off to places unknown, the nose pointed upwards and the tail-end of the plane is downward as its body is lifting off into the sky.
I like to see this.
I like to dream about this too.
You know?

If we want to talk about doses of nostalgia, then let’s talk about something which hits home for me.
Let’s talk about something from the depths of our soul. Speaking of depths, let’s talk about the way this makes us feel, the memories, and the pictures that come to mind.
This is my point. This is my message; but more importantly, this is my way to mend the fences in my mind, to keep me going and help me find motivation to keep my hopes alive.
Therefore –

I mentioned something to you yesterday about the early sunrise. This is because spring is on the way, which is about to happen soon. That’s fine because I like an early sunrise. I like the idea of an empty road, no one else is up yet and no one else is around. There’s only me and my reflections before the day begins.
I love it this way. The sky is emerging into a new form of light. The horizon is about to show color and the darkness is fading in stages because the sun is making its way to center stage.
I like the idea of being outside, standing on a doorstep, and ahead of me is nothing more than the new sky and an otherwise empty street.
I think about this with a hopeful aspiration.
I think about the walks we could take.

Suddenly, it’s all vast and green, the hills, the fields, the leaves on the trees are all green again. They call this springtime.
To me, I call this a seasonal rebirth. Everything that faded returns.
Life blooms and the weather warms. It is the second day of March and as we spin around in orbit, our side of the world tilts one day closer to the sun. This means that soon enough, the days will be longer.
Soon the winds will be warmer and the sun will be stronger.
Soon enough, the ground will thaw and the red-breasted robins will return to signal that springtime has arrived.

Sure, I get it.
I was wild. I get that my youth was not pretty (to some) and I get that my stories might be either too crazy or even too disturbing.
I get that too.
But then again, to each is own. While I do not live in my past or rally in the shooting stars of my youth; still, my beginnings are my beginnings and the people I knew are the people I will remember for always.
Man . . . there was a time when we would have gone to war for each other.

Don’t kid yourself. Your thoughts have impact.
Your thinking determines the direction of your day.
It’s true. it is also true to say that we are very interesting creatures.
We come from an interesting society; but more, we come from a life-long training center of how to live, how to think, how to go and how to be.
It is by our very design that we live and we breathe. We laugh and we dance. It is by our very right that we have the ability to go, or be, or do. Further, it is by our choice that we decipher ourselves between the two factors of living or existing.

When there is no room left for excuses, then there’s no more reasons to make up the lies.
There’s no more time for half-hearted words or the empty promises to yourself. When there’s nowhere left to turn or there’s no place left to fall, then there’s no more room left to hurt.
This is it. You’ve hit the bottom.
Or maybe you’ve hit a wall; but either way, when there are no more turns and when your choices are only down to a few, there’s only the here and now.

I have found myself in this tussle between the then and the now. More than once, I have lost myself to the ideas from my past. I have lost to battles that no longer exist because I have lived in the past. More times than I can count; I have lost myself to the arguments in my head. I’ve tried to relitigate the past. But ah, the past is inflexible.
The past is unalterable; therefore, I have no control over what’s gone or what’s happened.
I only have now. That’s it.