And this is life. Or so I am told.
I have not seen any other proof to show that this is anything other than life.
Or, maybe this is just me. Maybe this is my life and therefore, I am nothing more than small glimpse of something far bigger and brighter than my perspective.
I cannot see the stars in the daylight hours.
But I know they are up there.
I know where the moon is and I know where the sun is too.
I know where they are, even when they are not present in the sky.
I got that . . .
Author Archives: bennyk1972
And This? This Is More
And all at once, everything changed.
My eyes opened to the truth.
And yes, it was that simple.
Just like that.
All that was before was gone away and all at once, I saw myself differently.
I was free.
And now, here I am.
I saw this as if something magical happened. and yes, I call this magic.
I call her magical too.
But that is besides the point.
And This? This Is More
And there was nothing like it . . .
And there will never be anything like this again.
Of course, I should add more to this preface. I should obviously state the facts and give background so that you know where I’m coming from.
And this? This is where I came from.
This is what it means to have a room or a place, like, say, the bedroom I had back when I was young.
This was my spot and my corner in the world.
This was my safe haven, even when life was unsafe. This was the only place I could go and be safe enough, even when my actions were set on defying gravity or the safety of living a normal life.
And This? This Is More
Breathe . . .
inhale through your nose and breath out through your mouth.
Are you ready?
Good.
Then let’s go
I know how it feels and for the record, I know about the stress that comes along, not to mention the basic fears or the concerns that come or make us question if any of this is worth it or even necessary.
Continue readingAnd This? This Is More
And sure.
Safe to say that when you didn’t know, you just didn’t know.
And that’s fine.
No, really. It’s fine to learn.
It’s fine to fall down once in a while or to land on your ass or on your face. I say this is good for the soul to know that above anything else, we are all human.
We all fail. We fall down.
No one wakes up with fresh breath.
No one walks around at their best all the time
We live and we learn and if we are lucky, we learn the secrets to important things, such as the secret to our own resilience. Or we find the secret to our endurance. And we need this so that no matter what happens, we find whatever it is we need to keep going, even if it seems impossible to take another step.
You can’t quit.
Quitting is not an option.
Right?
And This? This Is More
It is amazing to me.
It is amazing when I think about the possibilities of who we are or how we identify.
It amazes me how limited we can be or how stuck we are when confronted with our own truths.
And truly, I have to say the freest I have ever felt was the freedom i found the day i chose to be brave enough to step away from the tables which no longer deserved my attention.
The best freedom is when you don’t have to say “goodbye,” or offer a speech because in the moment of awareness, we realize that arguing or responding degrades us. And like it’s been said, who is the fool?
Is it the fool themselves, or the fools who argue with them.
It amazes me how people limit themselves . . .
I have said this before. But I am reminded of a shirt I saw when I was young.
Continue readingAnd This? This Is More
And everyone says the same thing.
Don’t do it.
Everyone warns the next one. But no one thinks that “this” will happen to them.
I know I thought that I could beat the odds.
But of course, I was wrong.
No one expects the falls or the breaks or the pain from the bad things. And sure, we all think we can “handle it.” We all think that we know better and whatever happens, we all thing we can “beat it,” in whichever case or whatever the “it” may be.
Continue readingAnd This? This Is More
There is hope. I know there is.
I know that I am not where I want to be. At least, not yet. But I am closer than I was yesterday.
I know that going forward, at least I can say that yes, I am going forward.
At least, I am moving.
I am working.
And no one can take that away from me.
Move.
Do something.
Action creates reaction and motion creates emotion.
I have been told this . . .
I was told this a long, long time ago.
Move.
Go. Be. DO.
These words have meaning to me.
And This? This Is More
I sat in a church yesterday.
I was reminded of a day that happened years ago. Or in fairness, this was decades ago and somehow, I must have blinked or turned around or missed something.
Decades flew by.
Age crept in and I’m not sure how this came to pass.
I understand this intellectually, of course.
But lifetimes have gone by and years are gone.
I am closing in on the age of my Old Man when he passed away.
What the hell is that, by the way?
Why am I older than my doctors now?
When did this happen?
But let me stop before I digress even more.
I sat in Church.
This led me to think about where I was as a boy and how I was about to become a young man.
This caused me to think about my first realization of mortality.
Lie is life. Death is death.
And I shake my head.
And This? This Is More
Maybe I’ll never be “okay.”
If there is such a thing.
Maybe I’ll always want more.
Or maybe . . .
Maybe I’ll always look around and see what other people have and to me, there will never be enough.
Maybe there is something to be said about living in a frequent state of envy.
Maybe this is where our madness comes from because whether we try or die, we look around and experience an absence of grace or the spirit of achievement.
And so, we want more.
And yes, maybe this is why people cheat or cut corners or sneak around and look to get over.
The Written Addiction 