It is important to realize that the first steps are the hardest steps to take. There can be bouts with intimidation. There will be questions about your transformation.
Is this possible?
Can I do this?
Will I fail?
Will I quit?
More importantly, the real question is do I see any value in this?
Do I believe this could be me?
Will this be like every other time I tried to change my life?
Will I be great in the beginning, and lose interest as I go?
There has to be a beginning. We all start from somewhere and, of course, there are times when we need help or we need to figure out when or where to begin, or how.
I have been writing to you for years now. Most of this is for me. However, there is hope, which I have, that somehow or maybe in some way one of my entries can reach out and find someone at their moment of need.
Same as I needed to be inspired, maybe this can find you at a time when you need a push of your own. Maybe something I might say can (or will) motivate your or push you to the point where you are inspired to change.
I want us to have fun with this journal . . .
What does it mean to change or in this case, what is a transformational change?
Of course, the answer is simple. We know what change means. And we know what transformation is.
However, change is such a common word. So, I would like to offer the ideas of transforming or to transform and to become better, or to improve, and to be our best self is an idea that whets the appetite.
We have to have something to inspire us. This is why the ideas of transformational change can be enough to drive or act like a force that promotes our next steps.
We need something to draw us away from the internal narrative or negativity, or we have to be sure to keep from the old belief system that says, this is it.
This is all you are, and this is all you can ever be.
I am a fan of change or more to the point, I am more a fan of transformational changes of the way we are, or the way we think and, of course, I am a huge fan when it comes to the results or how they change the way we act. I believe these changes are lifesaving, or can be.
However, transformational change is far from easy. The tasks can vary, and the steps involved can be painstaking or tedious and, of course, this can be painful and seemingly thankless.
There are times when there is no result in sight.
There are times when the results we find are either limited or less than inspiring. And, of course, there is the ever-growing excuse machine that can distract from our goals.
But why?
Why do people quit?
Why do we quit on ourselves when we know we want more?
It is morning, and today is the first day of the brand new year. There is something that I say, and I say this every year, which is I have never been one to use the saying, “New Year, New Me.”
I do not do New Year’s resolutions, not now and not ever.
This is partly because no one ever holds their New Year’s resolution for very long. No, these things are great out of the gate and as quickly as we started the so-called new regiment, these so-called resolutions tend to fade just as fast.
I’ve faded enough in my life.
Sometimes, we have to fade gracefully.
Sometimes, we have to fade away fast.
And sometimes, we wish we could just disappear.
It was exactly one year ago today on the eve of the New Year, and like much of the world, I was hoping that the upcoming year would be better than the one before it.
It has been a long time since I’ve seen the beach at Point Lookout.
But is the place for tomorrow’s entry.
Not today.
I look back in hindsight, of course, which is perfect now that I see through eyes with a new perspective. I look forward to ending this chapter or to ending this journal tomorrow.
But again, that’s for tomorrow’s entry.
Not today.
I am always asked why I write about these things. I’ve been told that this is not for everybody.
And I agree that, no, this is not for everybody.
This is for me and for you.
But then again, you are me, and I am you.
At least, I think so.
I’ve been told that the content and items I choose to write about are uncomfortable to think about. I have been told that no one cares about these things or that no one wants to talk about their feelings.
Even more, I have been told to toughen up or to quit harping on the past.
I have been told that I need to move on and stop thinking about the things that broke my heart or the facts of my life, which took place, and I grant that this is true. But this is me, and this is all according to perspective.
Maybe I say this every year, but each year grows further from the past and each year, I think of how distant we have grown. I think about how long it’s been, between then and now.
It’s been 35 years.
35 years is a long time.
I think about the accomplishments and the achievements that take place in a man’s life of 35 years.
What does it mean to, “have it?”
I ask you this question because I know we all have something.
Everyone has something.
Don’t we?
I understand that while this may be vague, I believe there is something relatable to what I am about to say to you.
Everybody wants something. The list may or may not change. Maybe we modify the list as we grow or maybe we change. If anything, our intentions change and so can our intensity to go, or be, or to do what it takes to make something happen.
Continue readingIt wasn’t so long ago, at least I don’t think it was.
Youth, I mean. And ah, to be young.
(Again)
There are certain people
who we encounter
we keep us young
or who make us age.
The Written Addiction 