Sunday morning and my eyes open before the sun. Today is my day off, but yet, my body is in routine—so I’m awake. Outside, the wind howls and the clouds look like they will be thick when daylight comes. This would be a perfect morning to sleep in—but again, my body is used to a routine, so I am awake as if today was just another day on the time-clock.

It’s amazing how our body fits into a routine. I am rarely late, but I have a terrible fear of becoming so. I suppose this fear came from past experiences. I suppose this came from my time on The Farm.
Being late meant you didn’t eat. Being late on The Farm meant someone was going to yell very loudly and yell for a very long time. It meant a day of humiliation. I suppose this created an inner-body fear that my subconscious refuses to let go of, which is good, because I am rarely, if ever late.

I watched an interview of an amateur cage fighter with Continue reading →

There is one thing I know and I have almost always been sure of; there is no honor amongst thieves . . .

Richie was an average sized teenager with basic looks. He lived in an average suburban town, approximately 45 minutes east of New York City. His mother and father came from average incomes. They earned average, lived average, and to their son Richie, average was uninteresting at best.

Richie lived in a modest home. His father, Richard Sr., rarely gave Richie money without asking Richie to work for it. He was rarely home and usually working long hours and weekends. However, Richie did not understand this. He never Continue reading →

Out of respect for anonymity, names and situations have been slightly changed to protect the not-so-innocent . . .

Billy was a tall, soft-spoken man with a curly bowl of salt and peppered hair. He wore a mustache, which was grayer than the hair on his head. He wore a pair of wire-rimmed glasses and he always dressed casual. He was gentle and bear-like. I never saw him lose his temper and I never heard him speak aggressively about anyone. Billy was content to be exactly who he was—a kind, middle-aged photographer who lived on 28^th Street in Manhattan’s Flower District.

No one would ever know by looking at him. No one would ever think he was once a drunk and no one would ever know about the twenty years he drank or why he chose to live that way.

Billy invited me over to his studio after Continue reading →

We are moving into the season of hot apple cider and pumpkin spice lattes. My friend The Old Tree that stands across the street from my home is now like the others and completely leafless.
During the mornings, I step outside before sitting in my car and I look at the street at the end of my block. I stop for a moment and face the east.
The sky is in its early moments of change, and with the empty tree branches of tall trees poking above the houses in my community like black crooked fingers in the foreground; the colors of heaven vary in shades of orange and purple in the background.
The winds have lost their warmth and the Continue reading →

I am writing this to you.

I write this to the mothers and fathers. I write this to the wife or husband and I write this to the girlfriend or boyfriend. This is for the friend or family member to settle the questions you may have. And how ever many questions you may have and as large as the questions may seem; it all comes down to one word: “Why.”

I do not say my story is like every other—however; I write this Continue reading →

The difference between the right to die and suicide is the same as the difference between dignity and sadness. The right to die is a decision based upon terminal illness, as well as the body’s failure, and torment of inevitable pain.
The decision also considers the suffering, not only of the sick, but of their loved ones.
However, suicide is much different than this . . .

In the afternoon heat of a mid-August day, I stormed out of a group counseling session. I passed the other concerned patients in the live-in drug treatment facility. I passed my primary counselor that waved me over to inform me of our one-on-one session, and I stormed up the steps to the room where I slept.
The facility was Continue reading →

The other day belonged to a woman named Brittany Maynard.
Brittany passed at the age of 29, but she chose to pass on her own terms after being diagnosed with terminal cancer, which sparked the debate over right-to-die issues.
Brittany chose November 1^st so her husband could have Continue reading →

I never sat on a balcony overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
But I’ve dreamed about it.
I’ve dreamt of palm trees blowing in the wind, the sound of California’s streets moving below me, and the West Coast sun falling into a sea I have only seen in my thoughts.

The world is filled with critics and criticism.
There will always be someone looking to Continue reading →

“I came home late last night and the stars were the brightest I’ve seen in a long time.
Usually, the city glare brightens the sky too much to notice them.
But it was late, and most of that brightness had gone to sleep.

I stood in front of my house and looked up;
I tried to find the biggest star and see if I could recognize any of the constellations.
I looked for Orion’s Belt and The Big Dipper.
I noticed strips of clouds hidden in the deep-night sky
and watched a plane fly overhead with its blinking lights.

I grew up here. In this town I mean.
I moved away for a while, but I came back.
The way life moves in circles and reconnects us is pretty amazing, if you think about it.

Someday, this will all make for an amazing story . . .”

October has changed the face of my neighborhood. Aside from the branches of emptying trees, or the color-changing leaves that Continue reading →

The idea of tomorrow seems too far away for the young mind to consider. I was young once too. I swore the fire from the bridges I burned behind me would light my way. But the light from the flames dwindled as I moved on, and when I turned back to see where I was—the light was gone, and it was too dark for me to retrace my footsteps and find my way back.

Closing winter, the sun returned with more warmth and the ground thawed. I was on the corner of Prospect and East Meadow Avenue. It was late afternoon and the sun was Continue reading →