In all fairness, I suppose there will be times when all one can do is sit back and wait. There will be times when all one can do is close one’s eyes, and see what they can see, and dream as best as they can.
I can say this is true from a personal perspective. There will also be times when all you can do is close your eyes, despite the challenges or the fights, and just breathe.

I have this dream of mine, which is not unlike the dreams I’ve told you about before.
I have a dream of breaking away and driving down some long open road. Of course, I am in a convertible with the top down. I can see this too . . .

This is amazing to me. Music, I mean.
Another thing that amazes me are the songs that come up out of nowhere, especially when you’re sad or emotionally bleeding, and then as if to add insult to injury, a song comes up from our past, or a song that sings all the words you feel can magically come on the radio. And just like that, the dam breaks and the tears flood and the pain bleeds.
It’s amazing to me.

It is morning and I am east or where I usually find myself. There are changes ahead and changes behind me. Then again, this is how life is. Everything moves and everything comes back in some way, as if to say we live and we move in either huge or small circles.
This is the way life works.
Everything is ongoing, continuing and cyclical. At least this is how I see it or better yet, at least this is true to me.

I was thinking about the last few weeks and the things that I have seen. I’ve been thinking about the decisions I’ve had to make or the troubles I’ve had to face.
I have been thinking about the people who I’ve met, or who live with special needs, or those who face daily challenges, which are far more draining. Then I think about my own life.
And I wonder who I am.
Who am I to complain?
Who am I to bitch or live as if I am challenged, which is not to say that I don’t have challenges. However, my challenges are a blessing to others. In my case, their challenges are unthinkable to me.

Age steps in.
I suppose I always believed that my life would be different. Or maybe I never thought that life would be this way, or this serious, or intense.
I suppose I assumed that my life would be different from what it is now. Then again, I suppose that my youth never predicted that age would be possible or essentially, I suppose, I never considered that I would reach this age or grow this old. And I have.
(Somehow)
Perhaps, I swore or I made a promise to myself that I would never grow old.
In fact, I’m sure I did.

And then one day becomes two and two becomes four. And deep down, I know this. I suppose we all do.
We know that the past has a way of slipping behind us, if we allow it. Or the past can kill us alive, if we let it. So . . .
There is something to be said about the sunrise. There’s something to be said about the east and how the sky changes over my little suburban town. There’s something to be said about the promise of tomorrow, and yes, there is something to be said about the forgetfulness of the clouds.

I have been fortunate to know good people. Or equally, I have been more fortunate to know people, who might seem to have a rough edge around them or people who may appear to be tough, or hard, yet, I have been fortunate enough to see their truth.
I can say that I have been lucky enough to see a bit more deeply into their lives, to which, I am fortunate and dare I say this; I am blessed and better because I have met these people.

This one will be quick –
Sometimes, you have to lay back. And sometimes, I have to find an action to replace my thinking. However, as for laying back or trying to be calm, amongst the storm, as the say; I know this is not an easy task.

I know what to means to be hungry. More to the point, I understand what it means to want or to need or to have desire, so great and so huge, or to have dreams that I can see, yet I can’t touch them.
But I want to.
I know what it feels like to be at the bottom of the hill, looking up, and seeing the climb ahead of me.
Who doesn’t?
I can tell you that I have a clear understanding of intimidation. I know about doubt. I understand the heavy chains of disbelief which weigh us down; furthermore, I have found myself drifting away, as if to be moving in slow motion and there I am, watching my dreams evaporate before my eyes. Life passes me by, like an unwilling participant who willingly gave up on a goal, simply because I never believed the goal could be achieved.

Do you know what this makes me?