144)

The way I see it is –
you have to lose yourself
in something, otherwise,
you can lose yourself
to everything,
if you know what I mean.

I remember back
when my friend Mitch
once told me,
don’t play that movie out
in your head—and
he was right.

141)

There is something about the sting of purity,
like how the cleaner stings the cut
or like when Mom wipes the cotton
across a scraped knee,
and it burns . . .
or like, when they wiped the cut
I got the first time I had to get stitches –
and I remember, even when I was younger
about how someone told me
sometimes,
it has to hurt, they said
if it’s to heal.

140)

Just one, for today.
But I need this one.
I need to be reminded
that there is more to me
than I see,
and so
I need to understand
that I am not the sum of my fears
or the limitations of a so-called sickness
nor am I less or more
simply because of my challenges
with social, economical,
and educational snobbery.

And so –

137)

Think about this
and for the moment,
I will keep this
as brief as I can,
but think about your defining moment
and what you want this to be.

Think about your moment
in the bright lights
and the award goes to . . .
and there you are
the recipient of something
more amazing than you ever expected.

133)

It is crazy to say
or to think about
or to realize
and at the same time,
no one knows who they
are to someone else.

I have no idea
what the concept of touch feels like
from your hand
and, at the same time,
I cannot see color
from your perspective
or know the comfort of sound
to your ears,
or the taste of food
on your tongue.

130)

What is it?
What makes you thump?
What makes your heartbeat more
than say, just a little faster?
Or better yet,
what blows your hair back,
or what puts the feeling
in your soul,
like the kind that gives you
a reason to stand up and shout,
or better yet,
when was the last time
you did that?
Stand up and shout . . .

Where is it?

127)

I often find myself
thinking about the summertime in fall
or the winter in spring
or how the seasons somehow
overlap and leave behind a mood
or a feeling, which leaves
behind memories of times
that came around once
but there will never be
again.

123)

It is crazy to say that
I am of sound mind,
and it is even more crazy
to say that I do not slip
or fall from the wall,
or it would be a lie to say
that I do not
fly off the handle
or lose control.

120)

For all it’s worth,
I have always wanted to be
something colorful –
you know?
I have always wanted to be
someone beautiful
but not deceiving
or deceptive to the eye
whereas,
I have always wanted to be good,
or someone to know,
as in,
I have always wanted to be
someone to be proud of
or someone to love
or, if I may,
I have always wanted to be
good
or just better . . .

115)

I think of the words I once wrote
to someone who shared their words
with me.
I think about the bravery
it takes
to show someone
your truth
and to hold yourself
out there
above the fires
and say, yeah
this is me.