junkie prose

a)

at first, the speed was phenomenal
…that is,
until yesterday lost its genius

flame hits the glass pipe
and melts small imperfections into brilliant light.
…..within seconds,
my breathing changes; my chest becomes hollow,
like a chamber where my heartbeat echoes

tiny bells chime in my ears and the world becomes soft
(but it’s only temporary)

as the rush pulls me into the state of weightlessness,
I am overrun
I am overtaken and swallowed into white lies,
which only last a few minutes

 outside…
an ambulance keeps passing my window.
it’s the same one (I swear it is)
and the invisible whispers tell me,
“they’re out there.”

it’s like I said,
the speed was phenomenal

…..until yesterday lost its genius

b)

tiny movements sway into the excess of breath

…….I envy these moments between in and out

my chest is neither full nor flat; time has yet to move,
as if everything paused
…and all that was heavy
has lifted into atmosphere

I emerge from my personal shadow
into the transaction of synthetic light (so I can exist)

everything sways,
…………………………like lazy winds
that blow across fields of half-bent grass.

I guess this is what they warned me about…

the dirt is earth, so I lay back
I sink into the ground, envisioning the warmth,
which moves through my body in waves of gentle chaos

here, my weakness becomes nothing

closer to dying, I am alive
and as I give in,
warm miracles make the trip worthy.

It’s like this:
withering demons meet me halfway…
the nod turns into a wonderful episode of nothingness
and my head unfolds a
s I dangle to keep myself weightless.

I am lost,
……………like in a cocoon.
I am hypnotized, or gently euthanized
for what seems to be tiny pieces of eternity;
like I’m stranded in the whiskers of God the Father’s beard

… and everything  is gray.