Truth is yesterday is gone. We don’t live there anymore. Everybody knows this. But the remnants of yesterday will often overstay their welcome.
And you want to let go.
You want to move on.
It’s over.
(Right?)
Continue readingMonthly Archives: April 2019
Insomnia and Anxiety thinking from 2:00am
Before going forward about the thought machine and how it works, I think it is important that we define what the thought machine is. We need to understand the wiring and how our machine operates.
The thought machine is our brain. Like any machine, the thought machine has switches and relays and sensors and safeties. Think about a circuit board; think about a control room with big switches and dials.
At our best, we achieve a sense of balance or stability, otherwise known as homeostasis. All the connections are made; the machine is good, The lights are bright, the air is sweet, and all’s right with the world. This is us at our best. This is us without any interruption or disturbance.
However, the thought machine is alarm sensitive. When all systems check, the current flows smoothly.
Just Sayin: (written before the workday)
And now it’s me, early morning, tired and wishing I was someplace else. But yet I am here, of course, exactly where I am supposed to be.
Then again . . . where else would I be?
I have come to the conclusion that we are all inherently and internally crazy. We are all crazy in our own perfect little way, which is not to suggest that crazy is a bad thing.
At least, not as I see it.
Growth Spurts
We never really know how much we’ve grown. Until, something happens. Then we look back at how responded as opposed to how we might have responded in the past. Or maybe we see a group of old friends that tell the same old jokes, which used to be funny, but to us the jokes are old. They’re just not funny anymore.
Continue readingOvercoming
One day I decided that I did not want to be held hostage anymore. It came to a decision, which I knew I had to stick with. I was tired of the anxiety attacks. I was tired of the social anxiousness and tired of being afraid of people, places and things. I was tired of living “Rejection sensitive,” and feeling leashed or slaved to thoughts and feelings that had the ability to spiral me out of control.
Continue readingThe Soundtrack
And then there’s music.
Thank God.
Thank the heavens. Thanks to whomever or whatever.
Just be thankful there is such a thing.
Thanks for the sound.
The Choice Is Yours
I have spoken in front of groups on several occasions and asked the same question, which is, “What stands in your way?”
Of course, this question applies differently with different people. In some cases, this question applies to mental health and wellness.
In other crowds, this question applied to living a clean lifestyle, no drugs, no drinking, no crime, and no other means of self-harm.
In some presentations, I have asked this question to those who seek a better life. In some groups, this was directed to inspire those that live under the threat of suicidal ideation
Whether a better life is to be free from depression, free from the toxicity of abuse, of shame, fear, or free from anxiety, freedom from the thought machine, or to be free from all that we wish we could discard from our life, I ask, “When will it be your turn to have the life you want?”
Mealtime
I look back at the meals we grew up with and the plates of food, which acted better than any penicillin ever been prescribed.
Meals like this are better than any medication and better than any anti-depressant. They are the meals we grew up with. They were the meals we sat through, together, like family.
Remember?
How To
There is a part of success that most people do to recognize. This is the lonely part. This is the part when everyone else decides to quit (except for you) and goes home to rest for a while.
This is the part when nothing seems to fit right. Your endurance is tested. Your determination is tested. So is your patience. So is your temper.
It’s like every step you take is harder than the one before it.
But you can’t stop.
You just can’t . . .
Dream Prose
I want to find myself here, on my own steam, living a life which I created by the steam of my works.
I want to find myself on the Pacific side of our country,
alone, looking out into the vastness of a peaceful blue sea.
Behind me are the palm trees and the Malibu lives,
Santa Monica, L.A., and even the hills,
the big Hollywood sign, the canyons,
and the sunsets,
which are unlike anything I have ever seen.
The Written Addiction 