An Old Insomnia Re-Write

The way I love you comes back at me in different directions.
And I can see this in the reflection of your eyes,
which look at me like perfect mirrors
to reflect the stories in your life.
This teaches me what I have become
and what I mean to you.

The reflection I see when you look at me is brilliant.
The shine I see in your eyes is the way you view me:
as a man, as a figure in your life, and foremost,
as the owner of the hand that rests against your cheek

Even when something happens unannounced, or unexpected;
either way here we are, without an invitation,
making headway into this world,
regardless to whether the time is right
or not.

They say Time waits for no one.

It passes you by.

A homeless man near East 18 shouts at the sky.
Said he owns the rooftops that block his view.
Said he collects rent from the vagrant minds
and from those who partake in the drug trade.

He screamed how, “Nothing in this world is free.”
And he is right.
Nothing is ever free,
except for the first hit of anything that draws you in
to keep you coming back.

See, the way I love you comes at me from different directions.
But since I’ve never had to pay a dime to love you,
I wonder if I will owe or have to pay up later with interest.
And interest is a bitch.
Maybe we pay for everything our heart feels
maybe we pay more too
and I say more . . .
More, like a child hungry
and can’t get enough

The way you and I love moves
like wind that twirls though the timeline of our life together.
And since we’ve been together,
I’ve never paid much attention to the time
unless of course, you count the time we spent apart.

The way we lay together
or the way we hold our occasions between the sheets
can bring us closer together.
Don’t believe me?
Just touch me and you’ll see.

But maybe the man on East 18 was right.
Nothing is free,
which is why it’s off to work I go to create a future

As I see it:
Our future is nothing without the gas to get further
so I have to work at this,
I have to work hard to go further
because my future is nothing without you
and the effort I out into “Now”
because “Now: is all we have.

I tell you life ain’t easy.
But this is love
and love ain’t easy either.
Keeping them both together as a working unit
has never been easy.
But nothing worthwhile is easy

The way you love me has taught me to be who I am.
But sometimes I wonder if who I am
is the same as who I am supposed to be.
Then again, who else could I be?
My fears creep in though.
I question everything
Is this what you wanted?
Is this what I am supposed to do?
How long can I hold onto forever
because that’s how long I want to hold you . . .

The plan should be easy . . .

But best laid plans
are nothing more than the best made plans
and fate has the right to switch our seats
at any point in this journey.

So in this case, all we have is now

and if now is all I have

then let me live for now,
this very minute,
because I don’t want to miss a second
or be without you

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