Every month I pay this thing we call a mortgage. This means I own a home. I have other payments as well, like my two car payments. One of which I own and the other is a lease.
The lease is like a temporary partnership. I am happy to report my other car payment ends in about a month or two. This means the car is all mine. I own the above items (except for the lease.)
I have some clothes too. I own some tools. I have a small tractor that I keep in my shed. At the moment, the tractor is in need of repair but it is still mine, which reminds me; I have a snowblower that needs my attention too. So does my main generator. I have an older generator but it has not run for quite some time. Either way, these things are mine.
Monthly Archives: October 2019
The Way We See Things
I am not sure where the intensity comes from. I have never been so clear on why we overthink or over-analyze. More to the point, I am not sure why we relive conversations in our head, which are painful, yet we revisit them frequently, like the plague of an unwanted guest that refuses to leave.None finds this helpful. At least, not really. but yet, most people can relate to rehashing a conversation in their mind and wishing they had said things differently
Continue readingThe Search
I see myself as a searcher. I suppose I always have been. Then again, I suppose we all are.
We’re the same when it comes to this. We’re all searching — even when we find what we want, we still look, we still question and we still wonder.
Life is evolving. It never stops. Like it or not, life keeps moving regardless to the plans we make. Either way, it’s true. Life is a journey. It’s a quest. I believe this with all my heart and so should you.
There Has To Be More Ways Than One
There is one fact that is often overlooked when discussing the behaviors of an addict, drinker, or users of different kinds. First and foremost, the fact that anyone expects logic to take place is inaccurate. Logic does not live here. Logic and compulsion do not speak or interact in this case at all.
In fact, compulsion is the counteraction of logic. Although, intellectually, the user or the drinker may understand this, below this understanding is the drive and the need to overcome a feeling, a want, an idea, or an opinion that does nothing else but linger in the mind. Beneath the intellectual and logical understanding is the seemingly unchangeable belief system that cannot see life in any other way.
To Be A Superhero
A little boy looked up at his father and asked if superheroes are real. The father looked down at his young boy, proud as could be, and smiled lovingly the way a father smiles at his child. The father inhaled deeply to fill his lungs, and remarked, “Absolutely!” because the father knew, wholeheartedly, there is such a thing as super heroes.
And there are . . .
From The Junkie Diaries: The Draw To Bring You In
Life happens and we know this. We know this because life happens to us all the time. The time moves and the world turns. We know about this too, but yet, we can’t feel the Earth spin. We just know it happens.
And time, well, time is this ever moving machine, slow and steady, regardless to what we say.
Get Back Up
We tend to forget that whether we choose to or not, it is okay to let the past be the past. It’s okay to let this rest.
Or better yet, rather than relive and incident, over and over again, and rather than re-have a conversation that cannot possibly happen again, and rather than rehearse ourselves and rehearse what we would say is just such an occasion should rise again, or better yet, rather than reword and relitigate in the same conversation, only we change the answers to something we wished we would of or could of said, we have to come to the understanding that none of this is possible. None of this is beneficial. In fact, all the rehearsals and all the reliving and relitigating only digs us in deeper. No matter how we try, there is nothing more unalterable than yesterday,
About Intimidation
There will come a time when all of a sudden, a light comes on, and just like that, we see things a bit more clearly. We see things in a new way. Maybe we grow. If anything, maybe we grow tired of being afraid.
Something happens that causes us to take notice of the things we never saw before. In whichever way this happens, a light comes on. Maybe we hit a wall. Maybe we just grew tired of living more of the same. Or maybe we just out grew our scene and at last, we decided to change it.
We look around, and suddenly the big bad wolf or the boogie man just isn’t so scary anymore.
The Art of Not Quitting
There was a time when I was on a basketball team. Perhaps you might remember this. I know I’ve told you about this before so I will spare some of the details and stick to the point.
I was the little skinny kid that could hardly reach the basket when I took a shot remember? I was smaller than everyone. I was uncoordinated and uncomfortable at my best. I was also different in ways that made this team difficult for me. I was a stranger to the other kids on the team. Or, maybe the other kids were strangers to me. Either way, they all knew each other but they didn’t know me. They were all friends and me, I was this little skinny kid that rode the bench and went to a different school.
Continue readingTo Build
I have been watching one of the new buildings rise from the ground up in the middle of New York City. I saw this build from a hole in the ground and reach its tallest peak of more than 1400’ above ground level. The spire is high up with an American Flag at the tip, flying high and waving free. I love this.
Continue reading
The Written Addiction 