It was right around this time. I knew something was about to happen. I had not gone all in, just yet.
I had gone back to old behaviors and used old defense mechanisms. I went back to the old coping skills of my previous life. Essentially, I went back to the old me because in the simplest terms, I failed to maintain the new person I had become.
Yearly Archives: 2019
New Chapters
Yesterday was the first hint of spring. The ground is beginning to thaw. I have not seen a red-breasted robin yet but I did watch a brown eagle glide in circles. The eagle swept around behind my house and flew between Horse Stable and Panther Mountain the other day.
One would think I am far from the city but I am not. I am still close but yet I am far enough away that I can disassociate myself with midtown chaos and the Kamikaze cab drivers that speed down Lexington.
Relatable Creatures
This is us. You and me. This is us on an everyday basis.
We are all more relatable than you think. I mean, here we are on Project Earth, basically moving around on this huge conveyor belt we call a planet, trying to find our place in the circle, and at the end of the day, all we want to do is finish strong and come to some kind of constructive conclusion. Whether we get along or find ourselves on the same journey is a different story altogether. Either way, the sun will go down at sunset; and if we’re lucky, we’ll all wake up to see it rise one more time.
A Peaceful Thought
Somewhere, there’s a little unknown town with a diner that serves an amazing slice of pie. I imagine this place.
I imagine the people are friendly.
They say things like, “Hello,” and “Good morning,” as they pass each other.
Strangers are welcomed like family and smiles are like currency. This place is the kind of town where everyone knows each.
There Is No Quit
There is a problem that occurs when we settle for less than what we deserve. The problem is called resentment.
Eventually, we become resentful towards the people we settled for because in all honesty, we are mad at us because we took the trade.
Eventually, we grow frustrated because we traded away our dreams, which, we understood in the beginning. But in the beginning, we believed the that maybe things will turn out in the end. We accepted a smaller return but hey, at least it’s a return.
Right?
Now!
The truth is the world is not always a best foot forward kind of place. Adversity is real and so are the struggles we face.
Life has nothing to do with being fair or unfair. Life is only life. It does not act on behalf of or in regard to our plans or choices.
Life just happens.
About Life
There is something about those old photos we have keep packed away in boxes and placed somewhere in the back of a closet or down in a basement somewhere. There is something about the old photos taken at family gatherings, long ago, and from the days that seemed to happen to us in another lifetime.
Continue readingBelow The Surface
There is more to us. There is more to everybody than what we see on the surface because on the surface, we might see a smile or maybe we see an exterior success. Maybe we see people and look; and as we look at them, we think how their lives must be.
On the surface, maybe we look at a student or n athlete. Maybe we see grades and an honor roll status. Maybe we look at the pretty people and think how “Their” lives “Must” be easier.
We divide ourselves by status and place each other in different echelons of popularity and social appearance.But that’s just an appearance.
Maybe we see the surface of the so-called “Gifted” and think how our lives would be easier if we were more like them. Truth is; however, the surface of anyone is only the surface.
Beneath is often an entirely different story
5th Grade Classroom
I ever tell you about the dream I have of Mr. Golden’s 5th Grade classroom? It’s not much really. It’s just a dream.
That’s all.
There is something to it though. There is a meaning behind the dream but sometimes, it’s hard to put my finger on it.
For some reason, I find myself in the back of the classroom, which is empty.
The room looks exactly as I remember it. The walls are covered in 5th Grade artwork. There are pictures on the wall, letters of the alphabet, and rows of desks which in fairness, for the life of me, I cannot recall where I sat.
I only know I was there.
Dreamin . . .
I go back to a walk I never expected to take on a coast I never thought I would see. I go back to the beach and the sign on the hills, which said, “Hollywood.”
I go back to the way the Pacific looked and how the sun felt upon my skin. I think of this trip and the doors it opened. I think of its consequences and the doors which closed behind me. But I was fine with this.
The Written Addiction 