There is a problem that occurs when we settle for less than what we deserve. The problem is called resentment.
Eventually, we become resentful towards the people we settled for because in all honesty, we are mad at us because we took the trade.
Eventually, we grow frustrated because we traded away our dreams, which, we understood in the beginning. But in the beginning, we believed the that maybe things will turn out in the end. We accepted a smaller return but hey, at least it’s a return.
Eventually, we started to realize the dreams we gave up on would never come true
Herein lies the problem. This is what happens when we settle. The next thing we know, we wake up to a life we never asked for and find us living for things we never wanted.
It has been argued by me that rejection is not real. It has been argued by many that rejection is only as real as we perceive it to be.
I say our perception is deceptive and it is by that deception that we find ourselves fooled and easily led towards a settlement to ease our fears.
This is why people take the wrong jobs. It’s why people keep the wrong friends or stay in the wring life, married to the wrong people, and living according to a blueprint that was never meant for them
Take a dream for example. Consider a desire that runs deeply in both passion and history. This is us. This is every bit of us. This is our desire to be, to feel, and to live free.
This is the very fiber of who we are; this is our being, our purpose and value. This is us, every day, for life or longer until death do we part.
Take for example the dreams we want to achieve. Imagine something you want so badly that the ideas keep us up at night. We have plans, We have visions and ideas. However, in order to reach this goal, no plan nor strategy can be compromised.
Rejection is the act of being rejected. Rejection is the act of being denied; to refuse, to refuse to have, to accept, or consider.
Rejection is to be refused or cast aside, or worse, discarded. More accurately, rejection is a feeling; it is shame, guilt, humiliation, disappointment, and frustration. Rejection is an inner turmoil that hurts worse than any blade can cut. This is a pain that has no word to define its depth. It is loss. It is a feeling of being refused and hurt.
Consider the dream. Consider the desire to feel, think, and to have what we want most in life.
Consider the feelings of all the above and the sensitivity we feel towards rejection and disappointment, which is like a raw nerve that we fear might be touched or seen.
Consider the vulnerability. Think about this for a second. And think about the inner fear. Consider the internal rejection; the concern that maybe this thing we want is not made for us.
Consider the fear that our value might mean we are not worth the dreams we have because we just can’t do it. We can’t make it.
This causes fear. We fear the pain. We fear the rejection, which is only and always internal; therefore, we consider a trade because hey, it’s better to have something than nothing.
Am I right?
Beats being alone.
Herein lies the problem. Having something you never wanted is worse than having nothing because one day, we wake up, and we realize we gave away that piece of us that we used to dream about.
These are our dreams which have been deferred. These are our hopes that have been silenced like a child that only wanted to play for a while.
This is us, deep down, this is every bit of us. This is our heartbeat. This is our spirit.
Wholeheartedly, I say this:
Do not settle.
Do not give in.
And do not live according to someone else’s blueprint.
Do not let go of the hope you feel or settle for less because this leads to the path of regret.
When I see young people, I look at them and see me.
I see my younger self, so scared that I’ll never “Be,” and so worried that I might not reach the places I dreamed of.
I see them (our children) and I want to tell them, “Don’t quit.”
I want to tell them not to give up. They can be whomever they choose. I swear it!
I want them to know that love is real; they just need to learn what love means first. And don’t worry about when.
They need to know what makes their heart beat. They need a purpose, all day, every day.
When I see young people at the doorstep of their lives, I want to cheer for them. I want to tell them don’t be afraid to dare.
Never be afraid to try.
Don’t give up and never give in.
When I see them, I see me. I see the younger version of who I was, so eager to dream, but yet so petrified that my dreams will never come true.
Fear is the reason why we settle. At least I can say this was so in my case. My fear materialized on behalf of the deception of my perception.
I didn’t want to hurt. I didn’t want to fail. More accurately, I didn’t want to try and find out, “This ain’t meant for you, kid. Now, go home. Go back where you came from because you don’t belong here.”
No one can ever stop me from my dreams but me.
No one can ever take away my desire unless I volunteer it.
This is the truth.
I will be working on a presentation for a college course. I want to talk to them. I want to tell them. I want to inspire them. I want to see them when they wear their caps and gowns. I want to see their smiles and watch them pose for pictures with their families on a bright sunny day in the warmth of a per-summer breeze.
I want to see them standing proudly with their graduating class. I want to tell them to live
Yes, live. Please live.
Do it for me, please.
I want them to know that although falls are inevitable, life happens, but all have the ability to endure.
I want to stand in front of a classroom and tell them who I am. I want them to know because whatever I say and whatever they take away; I want them to take away this: Never give up on your dreams. Do not settle. Not even once because settling becomes habit forming.
So does quitting
I want to see them, our future country. The doctors, the attorneys, the scientists, the astronauts, the carpenters, the builders, the engineers, the electricians, and the plumbers; I want to see them all. I want to see the ones that fear too much and quit to often. I want to grab them, so help me God, and I want them to know “DO NOT GIVE UP!”
I have seen people discover themselves later in life.
Take me. Look at where I am now, in my upper 40’s, and looking back and saying to myself, “Why did I let go?”
The truth is I did let go. I gave in. I gave up because of my depression. I gave in and took the trade. But I’m looking back now. I am circling back to the me I should have been long ago. I am telling myself, “What say you and me take a crack at this now.” And I’m swinging folks. I will go down swinging if I have to
Do I experience rejection?
Yes. I feel it too.
Will I quit?
I won’t quit because I did that before and it caused nothing but pain and regret.
My Old Man once told me, “Kid, I don’t care if you dig ditches for a living. I don’t care what you do to earn a living so long as its honest and you give it your best.”
Dear God, I want to inspire.
I want to be the best at it
Don’t wait, kids.
Don’t do it.
This life belongs to you now.
I have seen what happens to a dream deferred. However, I have also seen what happens to a dream achieved.
Which one do you want to have?
Which life do you want?
I need you to see it because if you cannot see it then you cannot have it.
Create your blueprint.
Make your life what you want it to be
Find your dream
And don’t ever let it go . . .
The problem with settling is one day you’ll wake up and you realize you gave up on yourself. The problem here is one day when you come to this realization; you understand there is no one else to blame except for you and the deception of your perception.
There is no rejection.
There is no such thing as “No.”
There’s just a yes you haven’t heard yet
So don’t quit kid
You won’t like what happens if you do
So help me God . . .