I heard something brilliant this morning. I had to sop for a second and listen to this again. I wanted to examine this idea before I could share it with you.
“When you’re looking at someone who is extremely successful, do not allow yourself to make them extraordinary at your own expense.”
I had to think about this. I had to think about the times we hold people to higher standards. I think about the people we place on pedestals, only to find out the one simple fact, which is the unavoidable truth that they are human too.
We are all capable of learning. We are all capable of improving, and moreover, we all capable of achieving, however, we have to remain teachable.
We have to allow our mental construct to switch from the need to be right. We have to be okay with switching from the appearance of being informed and all-knowing and be okay with learning and not knowing. There is a word for this, by the way.
It’s called humility.
I have heard motivational talks before. I have listened to speakers talk about their path to greatness and I have listened to those who’ve detailed their walks from shame to fame.
I have listened and modeled my own presentations based upon my inspiration for them.
I have listened to people with horrible pasts and the saddest stories, —and I have heard them overcome the unthinkable.
I have listened to stories of greatness and watched as speakers stood up before a crowd. They were broken once and yet, there they were, on top of it all.
I thought about them and I would wonder how they responded to daily pain or what they screamed when or if they stubbed their toe in the dark.
Are they any different from me or you or anyone else?
I wondered what was so different between me and them. I wondered if I could ever do this. Would I ever be able to inspire.
Then I wondered, “Who the hell would care?” and gave into my own doubts which has literally limited me throughout my entire life.
The one thing I have noticed on my course to wellness is that we are all looking to find our own greatness.
Everyone wants to reach their best possible potential.
We all want to be our own hero —nobody wants to let themselves down or look in the mirror and feeling nothing else but disappointed.
No one wants to go at something with everything they have, only to come up short, and feel that beaten feeling of failure personal rejection.
No one wants to face the criticism or the critics and feel the fear of external judgement.
One of the obstacles I have noticed is our comparison to others. One of the problems I have found is the way we see other people as capable —and then we see them as better or smarter.
We focus on our lack of knowledge and the wealth of someone else’s. Meanwhile, we forget one incredible benefit. We are all built with the ability to learn.
We give into the ideas of our old measures of success and popularity, which comes from our upbringing. Everyone wants to be the starting quarterback or the head cheerleader.Everybody wants to be “The one!”
This is normal.
There are obvious differences in physical ability; however, there is no difference when it come to our ability to talk ourselves out of trying or learning because so long as we are willingly teachable, we are always able to learn.
This does not mean all learning will come easy. This does not mean learning will always be painless or enjoyable; however, if our will and our intent are focused on improving and if our desire to achieve and attain remains unbreakable, then the truth is nothing can stop us, in which case —the sky is the limit.
Another obstacle I have found on my path to wellness is the internal narrative, which deflates us and often derails us from our path.
This stems from fear. This stems from the fear of commitment because make no mistake; there is no success without commitment.
This means work, which is intimidating. This leads us to wonder about the outcome. This causes us to wonder if we’ll make it.
Can we do it?
And what if we try and we don’t reach our level of true success?
There is a sickness in us all, which I call our inherent laziness. This is the only thing that keeps us from reaching our best levels of living.
I say our best levels of living because once we come into a level of personal understanding; there is no win or lose.
There is no rejection. There is no right or wrong anymore. And moreover, there is no more internal arguing.
There is no more comparisons to others or their levels of success. There are no more outcomes. There is only effort, —there is us, our drive, our ability, and the understanding that we are able and capable of anything we choose to do.
There have been times when I sat in classrooms. I looked around at the others in the room.
I thought about them and their life experiences. I wondered if I could match up or be as good as them at what they do.
And then I had to realize that it’s okay to have a different angle. It’s okay to be as I am. I am not fit for everything —so rather than nurture what I don’t have; I had to learn how to nurture the talents that I do have.
I have seen people that I have more ability, natural charisma, and likableness, and as brilliant as they are, I have watched them fizzle in their own doubt until their spark was silenced by their doubt.
I have seen some of the most beautiful people question their own worth, and yet, no matter how many told them how amazing they were, I watched these people veer off from their path and settle into the depressive ideas which tell them, “You’re just not enough.”
I agree that there are obstacles in life; however, the toughest obstacle is our own mental construct. Our toughest hurdle is the internal narrative. Our doubt is our obstacle because everything else can be negotiated.
Our toughest wall to climb is built upon a false sense of reality. This is based on unrealistic terms and unrealistic ideas, which we have based upon the significance of others.
The hardest lesson I had to learn is it is okay not to be “The one!”
It’s okay not to be at the center.
I had to learn how to be comfortable with me being me and nurture my abilities; otherwise, I will never reach my best level of understanding and I will always find myself giving into intimidation.
How many times have we looked at people that we see in our daily lives—and we see them in their world, as perfect as it appears to us, we see their level of success, and when we see them, how often do we sensationalize them to the point that we hold us to a subservient level?
Never allow anyone to be extraordinary to our own expense.
I think this says it best.
If our life is up to us then our life is up to us, which means our success is no longer dependent upon luck or anyone else. This means it’s time to roll up our sleeves and do the one thing that is proven to build success.
And that’s work!