This is day 2 of 5 which has officially been shortened down to 3 days, to which I say “Fine” without any protest so long as I reach my goal and become certified.
However, first and foremost, I must remember that first and foremost, I began this trip for a reason. I came here because my reasons are true. I am here because my reasons for understanding mental health are true as well.
I came here to learn more because I want to live beyond the stigma. I want to go beyond the categories and the limitations of our labels. I want to move beyond our misperceptions of words and the terms we use loosely and inaccurately.
I came here to learn more and understand more, and although scripted in a much different way than I am used to, I came here to become part of a movement.
I joined this group to humanize and normalize this thing which we call mental illness and discuss mental health. Therefore, first and foremost; in full disclosure, I admit that I am wholeheartedly here with intention to improve me as well.
I am here to become part of a movement that helps and protects something that hits us all. More importantly, I came here to normalize the fact that one thing is for certain. Everyone is recovering from something.
In the past year 1 in 5 adults have been diagnosed with a mental disorder in the United States (about 19.1%)
However, beyond this, everyone has life happening to them; whether it’s a loss, a pain, a wish that never came true, or whether life came with an abuse or an injury that will not let go of our moral compass —or maybe the illness is self-diagnosed, or the struggle is diagnosable or has been diagnosed by an appropriate professional; whether this is depression or a dependency, an “ism” or a phobia, the truth is everyone is recovering from something in one way or another.
I know what I am recovering from. More than anything, I know that I am more than this. I am more than affliction. I am more than addiction or alcoholism. More importantly, I am more than anxiety and depression. I am more than anxiety attacks and the fears that overreact in me.
Before any of this, I am me. I am more than a pronoun, of this I can assure you. I am the blood and bones of my life. I am the root to my tree and the square root to my own equation. This means there cannot and should not bet anything the dictates or defines me other than me saying, Hello, my name is Ben because I have always been Ben and I will always be Ben. Period. End of sentence.
I was thinking of you this morning.
(And you know who you are.)
I was wondering what your world will look like in the next ten years. I wonder what you will look like. What will you think like? And what will you do with yourself?
I wonder how much your dreams will change between now and then. What will you learn? What line of work will you choose?
Will your life be the way you thought it would be or will life change and alter the way you see things, that is of course, if you ever choose to see things from a new perspective.
I was thinking about you this morning and wondered what it must look like to you now; I mean the world we live in, this crazy place, manufactured by us crazy people. Crazy, crazy, crazy . . .
We say this all the time, don’t we?
I think about this and I shake my head.
I wonder if any of us will ever find at least a semblance of sanity; that is if there is such a thing. And who knows, maybe we’re all crazy. Or maybe crazy is just a word that we use too loosely or inaccurately.
What does it mean to be crazy?
“It used to mean something to be crazy. Everybody’s crazy nowadays,” is a famous quote by someone I will keep anonymous, but still, the quote is valid to me.
I’m not sure.
Maybe this just means I want to be hopeful for you and your future. I suppose more than anything, I always wished for better things to come your way. I want you to be happy. I want to be part of this but sometimes, life has other plans and we can’t always get what we want (right?)
I want the world to be yours and the moon to be in your backyard at all times when you rest your head at night.
I want the world to be a better place for you because the truth is no one will ever meet us halfway —and with this being said, since this is the case and since recovery is a process, I suppose all I wish for you is to find a place of understanding. Maybe then the ideas of enemies or opposition can dwindle to the point where we realize there really is no such thing.