The following is based upon personal experience. This is not to say that I am a professional by any means. However, the ideas I am about to share are the ideas which helped me to understand myself and the ripple effect of my insecurity.
The problem with bullying is more than what happened. The problem is far passed the insults, and beyond the bruises, passed the laughter at one’s expense, and beyond the shame of exposure or the public humiliation. The problem is the tiny pods that linger within the memory banks.
I see the mind like a tree of thought. There are roots and a trunk, same as any tree.
There a limbs and branches and twigs that spread out in countless different directions. I see this as a diagram to depict the passageways of thought.
However, with regards to trauma and in relation to bullying and troublesome memory; this is where we create our personal math. We create an algorithm to predict or predetermine lifelong ideas of upcoming events.
We have all heard about subconscious programming, which, this is it. This is how I learned how to rewire my thinking and redefine myself.
The remnants of bullying or boundary violations are a representation of the lingering crime.
The events of the past are what create pods in our thought system, which set off like triggers and detonate our fears to explode like tiny little mines in our thought process.
This is where insecurities come from. This is where the walls build up as a sense of protection.
This is where trained opinions come from. In my case, this is where I learned about my false sense of self.
My insecure ideas were born here because of a false introduction to my so-called imperfections or inadequacies.
This is where I created my defense mechanisms; this is where I formed a sense of coping ideas which came from my trained biases and led me to my learned anticipations of others and their intentions.
I explain this to allow a meaningful representation of bullying and the lingering effects of terrible insults. In several of my school presentations, I have explained bullying as a theft. And believe you, me; bullying most definitely is a theft. This alters perception, changes perspective; it steals our definition and destroys our best potential.
The remnants of bullying leave behind a connection to the words we hear or the thoughts we have and the ideas that root themselves in the branches of thought.
People have asked me, “What’s in a word?”
My answer: A trigger
A word can be like a weed or a vine that suffocates the limbs of our thinking. Essentially, this causes a sense of internal lifelessness—essentially killing of a branch of free thinking due to a restrictive idea that has suffocated the limbs of beautiful opportunity.
This is what bullying does.
This is the accomplishment of doubt. These are the pods left behind, like countless minefields at the intersections of ideas, which cause the wrongful assumption, which at best defines the bullied as “Less-than,” or even worse, “Unworthy.”
This is the ripple effect that codes our thinking patterns and stunts the growth of personal belief.
Some of the thought patterns root similarly to the ideas that coincide with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which causes people to over-compensate or work harder to seek approval or acceptance.
Or, on the end, this often causes people to withdraw or “Quit,” based on the ideas of anxiety and social phobias.
(Please see the link)
This is what bullying does; it steals the bullied away from true self and creates a coded pattern of lies, which add up to nothing short of personal destruction.
Do you want to know why suicide is a killer?
Think about the number of people living with depression.
Think about the total number of people living with anxiety disorders.
Or better yet, think about the amount of people that have either panic or anxiety attacks, all of which are a reaction to a connection in the branches of our mental tree.
Think about the way memories connect by triggered senses; whether it is sight, sound, touch or smell—sometimes an idea can come out of nowhere, based on an external stimulant that causes an impulse.
This transmits throughout a region of neural pathways and leads to a synapse in our brain. This releases neurotransmitters in response to the stimuli. Put simply, this is what hits the trip wire and detonates the tiny little mines to explode in our thinking.
Do you want to know what bullying does?
It’s not the bruises. It’s not the names. It’s the aftermath that’s the problem; it’s the ripple effect and the little pods within the thought system that created and trained the inaccurate idea that somehow, we or anyone of us is anything less than beautiful.
The truth is (and I say this because I fortunately found this to be true) that everyone has this tree-like diagram in their head.
In this case, this cannot and does not put anyone above or beyond me. But instead, this likens us to everyone else; therefore no one is better and no one is worse. We all have our own gifts, talents, and extraordinary qualities; therefore it is best to nurture them.
However, some people are lacking within themselves, which is why they choose to bully someone else.
Better to laugh at someone else’s expense than become the joke.
Isn’t that it?
This is the bully; always pulling strings, always looking for something to hide behind because “God forbid,” anyone sees or knows the truth.
Perhaps it is better to react and act first than be victim to one’s own fear of persecution or social cruelty.
And I get it.
I’ve been there too.
Therefore, in full disclosure; I expose myself for what I was.
I was bullied.
I bullied as well.
I acted in response to the mental triggers and personal algorithms created by the mines that exploded within my head.
In full disclosure, I expose me and my truths to expose the maps and pathways of bullying.
Therefore by understanding, we can overcome.
We can overcome doubt and insecurity. We can resolve our past and unresolved tensions by forgiving ourselves and the moral injuries, which we held on to for such a long time.
By exposing the misperceptions of our ideas and challenging the inaccuracies of our thinking, we become free to challenge our assumptions that limited out branches of free thinking.
We can change our personal math. We can stop the irrational reactions that we used to practice. More importantly, we can seek freedom from the restrictive ideas that somehow taught us we are anything less than beautiful.
Bullying is the theft of someone’s personal beauty.
Want to stop bullying?
Learn to help someone defy the lies they believe and find their own beauty. do this and I promise you they will never feel bullied again.