Walking In The Rain

The roads near my house are country-like and quiet. The sky is gray and overcast this morning with a slight drizzle that turns on and off from time to time. I began my walk at approximately 5:30 this morning.
I decided to take this walk without regarding the periodic rains, because in fairness, the weather would only be used as an excuse if I decided to stay in.

I took this walk with an idea in mind. I took this walk to step towards some form of an answer. I decided that each of my steps should have a purpose and every pace should be deliberate. Each pace was taken to step away from the unresolved tensions that exist in life. Each pace was a step towards an answer to the unanswerable questions that never cease.

I suppose the slight rain was fitting. The quiet roads took me in as a friend and with music piped to my ears, I took every step forward with the intention of releasing my pent up concerns.

Sure, I have tensions. I have questions and concerns.
I wonder all the time:
Will I ever make it?
Will anything come through?
Will any of this pay off in the long run and will any of my tricks bring up a conversation that goes, “Hey kid, where’ve you been? We’ve been looking all over for you!”

The springtime and the greenery adds a sweet smell to my surroundings. The air was muggy this morning, and thick, like a humid soup but I didn’t mind. I found my sweat to be a meaningful representation; as if there was a purpose to my perspiration, as if I were cleansing myself and ridding the toxins inside of me. 

I have learned the secret of endurance is not such a secret. The secret is to endure, which means you have to continue, by any means necessary.
No matter what hurts, no matter how much something bothers me, no matter how scared, and no matter how badly the ideas impose themselves; the secret of endurance is simple. You have to endure. You have to experience, feel it, live it, ride it out, and take it all on the chin.
You have to get up, no matter what and keep going. This means you have to suffer sometimes. This means you have to sustain, maintain, and continue. This is the secret of endurance. To endure means to accept and acknowledge, but to hold steady at the same time.

There will always be someone around either looking to sell a dream or take yours away. I see no reason for dishonesty. The world is not an easy place sometimes.

I have been down here on Project Earth since September 20, 1972 in which time, I have seen, learned, fell, fallen, or broke or I’ve been broken.
There is no reason to pretend that life is a fair thing. As a matter of fact, best-laid plans are oftentimes nothing more than best-laid plans that life did not abide by.

The fact remains that in spite of our best efforts, sometimes, life has a way of collapsing around us. This is why endurance is important. There are times when the rejection letters come in. There are times when people say, “Better luck next time,” and there are times when no matter how hard I reach, I miss my goal by a hair.

I am learning that endurance is an action. Endurance is also a choice; whereas I can do one of two things. I can either submit and settle or I can look for a new angle and go at it again with a different approach.

These are the benefits of my early morning walk. I gave all of my energy. I stepped as hard and as fast as I could to stomp on the unresolved tensions and give up all the intensity. When I made my full circle home, I took down the hood of my sweatshirt, let the breeze hit my face and at last, I was able to say, “Ah,” in a sigh of relief.

Who knows where the articles will lead me? Who knows if any of my tricks will pull off or if anyone will give me a call today, tomorrow, or the next day and say, “Where’ve you been, kid? We’ve been looking all over for you.”

Truth is I don’t have an answer to any of these questions. All I know is the secret of endurance means I have to endure.
That’s it. Period. End of sentence.
This means I have to live it, feel it, take it, and keep going
By any means necessary . . .

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