Pointing Fingers

It starts simple. First, everything is a joke.
People love to joke, don’t they?
People love to see what they can say and what they can get away with.

This is true with bullies. This is true with the people that love to chew the fat from the gossip mills or the rumor factories.
Think about this for a second.
Think about the words, “I was only kidding.”
How many times have we heard someone say this?
Think about the words, “I didn’t mean it.”
How many times have you heard this?

Look, the truth is no one is at their best all the time. The fact is we say the wrong things and make stupid mistakes.
At our worst, we do things that we would never do if we were at our best. 

I wholeheartedly believe that we are all very capable of making absolutely huge mistakes. There are times that accidents are not accidents at all.
There are times when accidents are things that happen because we are at a level beneath our best potential. The truth is everyone has their own inventory. There is a pathology behind everything we say and do.

I have said mean things before. I’ve behaved inappropriately. I’ve made big mistakes. Costly ones too. I mean HUGE ones.
I am certainly guilty of being insensitive. I am guilty of being in arguments and hitting below the belt or stooping to low-level insults because my frustration grew out of control.
I do not and cannot believe that no one else is guilty of this. I suppose this is part of our nature and part of our insecurity.
I suppose at my weakest, my insecurity is the prime motivator behind most of my sins and mistakes.
I think before going onward, it would only be honest to admit that yes, I am guilty of committing the personal crimes, of which, I would otherwise condemn. 

A man at work responded to me in a way that was nowhere close to acceptable. Truth is there are days when we are doing well and there are days that we aren’t. I could do one of two things. I can either engage or realize the source and salvage the rest of my day.

I have noticed a few undeniable facts in my life.
First, happy people do not bully people.
Why would they?
Another thing I’ve noticed is hurt people, hurt people. What this means is people that live in pain are often the people that inflict pain on others. This is a reactionary problem on their part.
There is always an exception to the rules but either way, good people do bad things too. I know because I’m one of them.

There is a reason behind everything we do, think, or say.
Everything we do is done in honor of an idea, thought, feeling, or a need. In the case of sarcasm, there is often truth behind the sarcasm.

Think about the words, “I didn’t mean it.”
Maybe this is true.
Maybe we say things by ways of temporary insanity.
Or, maybe the intention was due to a moment of weakness. Or, one could say this was always the opinion. One could also say that when people are in a bad place, they react in defense of their poor situation.

The trouble with words is sometimes there are not enough apologies to mend the breakage that comes afterwards. 

Saying, “I didn’t mean it,” doesn’t always cancel the pain.

There is a point I had to learn is that in this life, which is I know I am guilty of saying hurtful things. I’ve made my mistakes like the rest of the world. Since this is true then it is also true that the rest of the world is entitled to the same justice. This means the same as I’ve asked for forgiveness because “I didn’t mean it,” others are entitled to the same thing. Even if we did mean it. (See what I’m saying?)

We live in very strange times. I see people in glass houses, throwing stones and pots and kettles arguing all the time. We live in a strange “Finger-pointing” culture, but yet, no one dares point at themselves honestly to say, “Hey, you know what? I get it. I have my fair share of regrets too!”

The best question I’ve ever heard is “Who is the fool? Is it a fool? Or is it the fool that argues with them?

I don’t want to argue.
I don’t want to be a fool either.

There is a scripture that says, “He among you who is without sin; let him be the one to cast the first stone.”

I don’t know anyone that can throw first. 
But if I were a betting man, I’m sure there is a long line for someone to go second.

Know what I mean?

One thought on “Pointing Fingers

  1. This covid season, with spending copious amounts of time with fam, has taught me to extend more grace to people, and to myself, because we all err. That putting people on a pedestal is a toxic habit I need to address. That noone is perfect, that people sometimes say and do stupid things but if they apologise I need to have the heart to accept and forgive, and if they don’t I still need to learn how to forgive even when no sorties have been offered. Forgiveness is a big lesson for me in 2020. And oh the liberation it offers. Priceless.

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