The truth is there is no competition. This is only the mind. There is no me against you or you against me. There is no reason to compare scars or cross examine each other to see which one goes farther or does more. There is no reason to look at people, like say, me or the neighbor.
There is no reason to keep up with the Jones’s or see who has the bigger house or the better pool or the nicer car. The truth is there is no competition.
The weight of the wallet or the title of a job is not the measure of greatness. Educational competence does not always equal cultural competence and many times, educational competence has nothing to do with competence at all. Life is not always what we think it is.
There is no greatness between me or you or someone that acts in a film, which for some reason, we exalt these actors as heroic because of a script they read to perfection. Yet, have you ever met them live and in person?
I have always thought it was interesting to watch someone talk about a life they’ve never lived and preach about the way we need to treat one another. Meanwhile, forget to put sugar in their coffee or challenge them with life’s complication and see them in their truer form.
There is no competition. The man (or woman) driving down the street in an overpriced car with $1000 shoes on and an overpriced outfit and a million dollar grin is no more beautiful to me than the smile I received from a toothless old homeless man. He smiled at me simply because someone acknowledged he was human. Isn’t that amazing?
There is a travesty now that people go through. I’m not sure if you’ve seen anything about this but it’s true. Literally, everyone is offended by words all the time. We have workstations with safe places because someone was insulted or had their feelings hurt.
I am wondering if anyone knows what happens when we are offended. I wonder if anyone knows the answer to this.
What happens when we get offended?
The answer is literally nothing.
Of course, we have emotions. Yes, we have feelings. We have thoughts and ideas. And no, there is no right that says we have the right to be disrespectful to one another but guess what, life is not always respectful and people have their own agenda. Life is going to happen. So, you know what? Act accordingly.
A favorite quote of mine comes from one of the greatest writers of all time (at least in my opinion.) Robert Fulghum wrote:
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will break our hearts.”
I believe this.
I know how painful words can be. I know that just one word can change the face of everything we think or feel.
Don’t believe me?
Ever meet a parent that buried their child because their child died due to a sickness that was inoperable?
Inoperable, now that’s a tough word.
Hate is a tough word.
Then again, love is an exceptional word that means everything.
Our association with words has a way of casting ideas and shading our thoughts and feelings. Yet, at the same time, you and me and the rest of the world have this need to over-dramatize and complicate our life. We take on arguments simply because we believe we’ve not been regarded or addressed properly I call this the great “I am!”
(This is all ego by the way.)
To offend; to irritate or annoy, to violate or transgress, or to hurt or cause pain, and to affect disagreeably is not life threatening. Simply because we do not agree or if we just fail to agree to disagree is not cause for the world to end or create a battle that makes no sense. I can move on at any given point and so can you. It’s really a choice.
There is no battle. There is no war. There is nothing that will stop our hearts from beating or lungs from breathing. Being offended will not cause traffic or stop the traffic lights from changing.
The truth is there is no competition and there is no better or worse or difference between any of us. The fact is and will always be that I am just me and you are just you and sometimes, never the two will meet. Sometimes, life will disagree with our plans. And oftentimes, life will shatter us and break us down. But this is not as detrimental as we believe.
Carl Jung once said:
“A man that has not walked through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them. As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being. Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
I like when Jung mentions the inferno of passion. I like the idea because this means we are linked to this. We are addicted to this. We are connected to the ideas of win or lose, pass or fail.
Meanwhile, this is just life. There is so much more to this than we see with our eyes or feel with our hearts.
And guess what, I have some tough and painful news to share. The world does not care if our feelings are hurt. The world does not stop due to our disappointment.
Make no mistake, there will be losses and disagreements. There will be times with pain and all the emotions that run the gamut beneath the rainbow. There are going to be trials. There will be sweat poured and blood spilled. At the end of it all, no one gets out alive. We all have our life. We all have our challenges and our struggles and we all have our ups and downs. This does not give me or you or anyone else for that matter the authority to avoid the fact that wealthy or poor, average or otherwise, the end result is the same for us all.
If we put everything to the side and rest the well-spoken, well-thought out plans of life, and go to the rawness of real life for the moment; I go to a quote from Bukowksi.
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
If I am me and you are you and the rest of the world is the rest of the world, this means you and I are nothing more than speckles in a sea of more than 7.8 billion people. Each and everyone of us has our own special traits that cannot be compared or duplicated. Each and everyone of us has our own DNA. We all have our own fingerprints and we all leave own special imprint in the world we live in. Therefore, I cannot and will not find myself lost in the rat race competition that compares you to me or me to you. I’m just me. And you are just you. That’s all. There is nothing else.
I don’t know what will happen to any of us. I certainly have no clue what will happen next. I don’t know if I will have the chance to pull off my trick or get my dream off the ground. I know there will be pain. I know I will hurt and you will too. Above all, I know that part of life is watching people we love pass away. And that’s a sad fact. I don’t know much to be honest. All I know is I only have one shot at this moment and I can do one of two things with it.
Either I face it or run away; still, life is going to happen. So let me face it. At least this way I can say that I walked through the inferno of my passions, faced my fears, took my falls and stood back up again. If my day were to come for me, then I want to be able to say, “yes, this was me!”
I want the right to say, “Well no, I never had much money. I was never famous and I might not have hit the Bestseller’s list. But I found a way to live as best as I could with what I had. This is what it means to be “successful.”
I chose my path. This is my life. You have yours and I have mine, and guess what, there is no competition. There’s just life.
By the way . . .
The only reason why nice guys finish last is because nice guys aren’t looking to win a race.
See you around . . .
The Written Addiction 